Almost 20 Questions

Magnolia tagged me, and I needed something to write, so here you go!

1) If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
Since we're not planning on having kids, Buster is a member of our family. He's our baby. And we spoil him accordingly. Lately I've been giving him meat trimmings while I'm cooking (sort of) and now every time I go into the kitchen he follows me and looks at me expectantly. I also give him too many treats without making him do tricks. He doesn't want to eat his regular food as much anymore, so maybe this is a problem. He's not starving, so I think I'm good.

2) If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
There are a lot of things I would like to see happen, and most of them I actually wouldn't want to happen because they would change fundamental things in my life that I'm extremely happy about. For example, I would love to own my own yarn/craft store, but that would mean giving up my job, which I love, and giving up chemistry, which I really love.


3) What is the one thing most hated by you?
"easy. willful ignorance." I copy this. If you don't know about something, that's fine, because you can learn something and rectify the situation. But there are so many people who are content to be ignorant, simply striving for mediocrity, and that, my friends, is the real meaning of stupidity. The worst part is, most willfully ignorant people despise those who would learn and grow. Almost my entire extended family on Mim's side are like this. It makes family reunions so interesting.

4) What would you do with a billion dollars?
Pay off my house and Mim's house, buy Kwiddens a house, set up trust funds for Em and Jorg and Nyah, buy everyone cars, start my own business (and one for Scott, too), etc. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to use up even a million of it before I ran out of ideas.


5) What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Scott can usually pull me out of a bad mood, but if not, there's always yarn. Unless I'm having a panicky sort of bad mood, in which case I take Klonopin, then use the yarn.


6) Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
How about both? It sucks to be at one end of only one of those. On one, you feel hopeless that the other person will ever love you, and on the other one you feel like you're being creepy-stalked.


7) What is your bedtime routine?
Take medicine and brush my teeth, change into pajamas, turn on my electric blanket and climb into bed with my lappie, surf the internet while Scott surfs the internet on his side of the bed on his lappie, or maybe read a bit of a book, then I start trying to fall asleep while Scott drinks his chocolate milk and eats his crackers.


8) If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
Hot Or Not. No joke. We were both on there just for funsies and we said hi and started talking online here and there (this was my sophomore year of college) and then we started talking like every day in November of my Junior year, and then he came out to Utah for a funeral (he had been living in Colorado) and while he was there we met and had a great time together, so when he got back to Colorado he packed up and moved back here (he was originally from Bountiful) and that was that.


9) If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
I don't like watching people come up with things. It takes time. It's like watching paint dry. I'd rather see the end result.


10) What kinds of books do you read?
Knitting books, my favorites over and over (Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, Leven Thumps, I know I'm one of those dorks), and sometimes I make it to the library and check out a classic, like something by Jane Austen. I used to read a lot more, but I find that I enjoy knitting more lately.


11) How would you see yourself in ten years' time?
Probably roughly where I am now, but older and richer.


12) What's your fear?
SPIDERS. I hate them. They're gross and creepy and scary. I'm also afraid of losing people, and losing my sanity.

13) Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
Space isn't cool; all that's out there (within reach) is space junk. BORING. I love ice cream too much.

14) Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Married and poor wasn't too bad.


15) What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
Hit snooze. And again. And again. Then I let Buster outside.


16) If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner, what would it be?
I wish he recognized his brilliance and potential. He's down on himself a lot of the time and I wish he had the same amount of faith in himself that I have in him: a TON.

17) If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Don't wanna.


18) Have you ever been betrayed by a family member? What did you do to get through it and go on with life? What made it better? Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Well, I've touched on this in the past. I have been betrayed. I'm still in the middle of it with someone. Getting through it involves getting together with people that understand the need to trash talk and trash talking the crap out of this person. I don't really mean it (well...most of it) but it helps to rant. I can never forget, but in other cases I've been able to forgive. The thing is, I'm going to have a hard time forgiving if the person would never even admit he's done anything wrong, let alone apologize for it.

19) If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
My first instinct was ice cream, but then Magnolia said salad and it hit me: there are so many more varieties of salad! And I wouldn't feel like crap all the time! I had some salad at a great salad bar the other night with Kwiddens, and it always hits the spot.

Reverb 10: Friendship

December 16 Friendship


How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I suppose Kwiddens is my friend as well as my sister, so let's talk about her!

Talking with Kwiddens, about anything, brings clarity into the mix. She's very good at talking things through and she always has a nice, fresh perspective. So, as I've talked to her, gradually, I've been a bit better about forgiving people and trying to put myself in others' shoes.

I'm always evolving and changing the way I see the world (and the way I interact with it), and it's because of the people I hang with. Scott, Mim, Kwiddens, Em, and Jorg all help me to be a better person, and I'm very lucky to have that.

I feel like I'm losing steam here. Maybe these questions just aren't as good, or maybe I'm just too tired to think of anything clever to say. Oh well. I'm still enjoying myself and learning new things about myself, so it's a good thing.

On The Edge Of A Cliff

A while ago, Halloween weekend, in fact, Scott, Jon, Jorg and I went shooting. We drove up Farmington canyon until the poor little Focus got stuck in the snow, and found a perfect spot to set up targets.

I don't think Jorg had ever been shooting before, so Scott gave him a lesson in gun safety and then we all shot some rounds from each gun we brought, using old bottles as targets.

I was stupid and didn't account for the fact that if you drive up the elevation increases and the temperature decreases...so I didn't have a coat, but just a sweater. I got cold and went to sit in the nice, warm car after a while, and soon Jorg joined me. Even though it was cold, it was still fun.

On the way back down when we were finished I got a decent shot of the view over the valley. Utah is generally a pretty place, even when it's brown.

And, of course, because driving down narrow, slippery switchbacks all the way down the mountain wasn't scary enough, the boys all got out of the car and stood on the edge of a cliff and gave me an aneurysm. What you can't see in the picture is the dead cars at the bottom of the cliff. Yep.

But, nobody died, so I really can't complain.

Honestly, There Were More Marshmallows Than Fruit

I didn't have an opportunity to do a Thanksgiving post...oh, who am I kidding, I had many MANY opportunities, but almost my entire weekend was spent curled up on the couch with my favorite fuzzy purple blankie working on the blanket for Mim. I finished it ages ago, and it was too small, so I had asked Mim to expand the pattern for me, but she's so freaking busy that it didn't get done until I showed her what I had so far and she suggested I make it again and connect the two...but I'm going for broke and making four, and to make it fun I'm rotating what colors go where for each one. I made a spreadsheet. I love spreadsheets. We should get a room.

Anyway.

Lazy me.

At least my lazy times are still productive. I get blankets and socks and such out of it, so it's not a total waste of time.

So Thanksgiving. Usually Scott and I stay overnight a day or two at Mim's house, but Scott has allergies so in order to do that he has to be so totally stoned on all sorts of meds that it's not as fun. This year we decided to just head down to Mim's Thanksgiving morning and spend all day there. The holiday was spent cooking, eating, playing games, watching movies (do you know how adorable "Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs" is??), and just enjoying each other's company. No pressure, no schedules.

We ended up going to the store twice that morning because we kept forgetting things. One of them was butter, and there is just no way to do Thanksgiving without butter. Fortunately, I didn't have to make that trip...people in stores on holidays are generally freaking nuts.

We had our usual: turkey, cranberry sauce, marshmallow fruit salad, pie, more pie, mashed potatoes, butter corn, more marshmallow fruit salad...yum. Nothing weird. Everything was perfect. I do have a confession, though: I didn't eat any turkey. I wanted to have room for other, more important things, such as second portions of marshmallow fruit salad.

So that was about it. It was relaxing and awesome. I got to play with the baby and hug my brother and sisters. What more could I want?

So now for the cliche: a list of what I'm thankful for this year.

• Family. Duh.
• Especially Scott. Another duh.
• The miracle of modern medicine, which enables me to experience emotions I never could before, while keeping the totally crappy emotions in check.
• Egg nog. You knew it was coming.
• My fabulous job. I make more than I need doing something I love. How many people can honestly say that?
• My new kitchen, paid for with the money I make at my awesome job.
• The ability to not eat french fries for more than six months this past year. I think I should go back to not eating them...
• And on that note, I've been able to keep most of the weight I lost off. I am, however, mad at myself for gaining any of it back at all, but I'm continually working on making better food choices. Except when I'm not.
• Being completely totally done with my Christmas shopping so I didn't even have to leave my house on Black Freaking Friday, the day when nice, normal people turn into demons.

Life is good, you know?

What The Hell?!

My dad and I don't speak to each other. Occasionally I feel sad about this, because I think he used to love me, back when he adopted me, but now I think he feels the same way about me that I finally feel about him: I nothing him.

When I say I nothing him, it's like saying I hate him or I care about him or I (insert verb indicating feelings here) him. Except, I feel nothing toward him most of the time, so I nothing him.

Sometimes, though, I get angry and want to go punch his face in, because if I ever tried to tell him how I feel he would get angry and defensive and call me terrible names and such or he would just walk away, ignoring me completely. Really mature, right? Either way, he wouldn't even care to hear about it. But it's pretty hard to ignore a strong punch in the face.

My memories of my dad consist of three things:

5% Warm and fuzzy memories of when he actually listened to me or said something nice to or about me,

60% Not being home, out doing other things with other people, ignoring his family's emotional (and sometimes physical) needs,

35% Being home and yelling at or criticising me (or all of us) about something stupid that either isn't even true or is something no person in his right mind would get angry about (one time I got in huge trouble for getting ice out of the freezer without asking...not even kidding).

When I took the ACT and got a 34 (out of 36) he basically told me I was stupid and I should have done better. And for a while there, I did think I was stupid because I thought he was so smart and he knew so much about the world and the way things should be. Apparently, I was incredible naive. I pushed myself to my limits in school and got all sorts of awards along with my perfect grades and the mountains of extracurricular activities I put on my transcript, and he never acknowledged that I was doing well (Mim, however, was always very proud of me and supported me in everything I tried to do. Even gymnastics, which was a total failure, but she was proud of me for trying).

One of our running family jokes was that if something would make him mad, we would all get the silent treatment for exactly 3.5 days, to the hour. I'm not even kidding. It was so perfectly consistent that we actually found it funny. The exception was the summer before I left for college, when he refused to talk to Mim for three months, resulting in her breaking down and ending up in the psych ward for a week. He, of course, denies he ever did that. Now I find it both funny and pathetic (not the Mim in the hospital part, the 3.5 days part).

Sadly, he was such a "good person" in my eyes that I wanted to be just like him, so I immersed myself in religion and science and wanted to be a doctor just like him. It took me years to figure out that he is a selfish, arrogant, holier-than-thou, racist (very very racist) person, and once I realized that I was able to let go of a lot of things I had been very angry and hurt about. I even feel sorry for him sometimes. But, once again, for the most part I nothing him.

All this aside, the reason I sometimes get so angry at him is this:

He cheated on Mim and nearly destroyed our family. Em was so torn up about it she tried to commit suicide and ended up in the psych ward for a week (I'm thinking there's a pattern to this). Jorg lost his faith in God, because he prayed and prayed and prayed and God never answered his prayers that our family might somehow be mended. I had to deal with a lot of this during my first year of marriage, which was hard enough in and of itself, with my being sick and our being broke and my not being able to find a job. Mim was so heartsick she couldn't eat anything for months and lost about 50 lbs.

He used Kwiddens. She knew about the other woman and he was nice to her for the first time ever and so Kwiddens felt obligated to stay out of it and not tell Mim about the affair. He would have Kwiddens tell Mim he was hanging out with her when he was actually with the other woman. I used to be angry at Kwiddens for this but now I understand how horrible the whole situation was and that staying out of it was probably for the better.

Everyone in my family went through hell and a half.

So about the other woman: her name is Cambria (total stripper name...) and she was (get this): his patient. Ethics apparently be damned. Even to this day, he lies to all of us and claims they are "just friends", even though we all know from outside sources that they are engaged. That just drives me crazy: that he thinks we will just fall for his stupid lies, and that he's not man enough to admit that he's done something wrong, even when we all caught him with his hands in the cookie jar.

Every time I think I am over this, something new comes up. Usually it involves the way he treats Em, Jorg, and Kwiddens, especially Kwiddens. For some reason he has always had it out for her, ever since the day he married Mim. I had it bad, but she had it way worse. He picked on her relentlessly and I don't know how she gets past that on a daily basis. I understand that Kwiddens's getting pregnant wasn't the best thing to happen, but things happen and we move on and make the best of it, yes? Our whole family is now in love with this beautiful little baby and we are so proud of Kwiddens for making such a beautiful little baby and being an amazing mother, and we are happy to have Isaac in the family. All of us except for Dad. Dad now refuses to even speak to Kwiddens and has no desire to see the baby, which I find totally heartbreaking, because there will come a time when Nyah will ask, "Why don't I have two grandpas?" (or three, depending on if you count our BioDad) and someone will have to say "Well, he doesn't love you" (or something) (how would you even answer that question??).

So, something else happened that brought it all back and I feel like I have to start all over again.

Yesterday I found out that he's getting married. Tomorrow. He didn't bother to tell me, Kwiddens, or Mim. We only found out because he invited Em and Jorg.

I don't resent Em and Jorg at all for this. I'm even proud of them that they're mature and kind enough to rise above it all and wish him happiness. But I can't help but think that maybe if I were actually his biological child maybe he would love me enough to invite me to his wedding.

It seems I'm not meant to have a father figure in my life. I'm usually fine with that. But sometimes I get so jealous of people who spend time with their fathers and look up to and respect them. I just can't respect him. I think I might even stop calling him Dad. It seems harsh I suppose, but apparently he doesn't think of me as his daughter any more, so from now on, he's just Jason.

What a prick.

Also, you would not believe how many awful words I used in my first draft of this post. Extensive editing brought it back down to a PG-13 level.

Labor Day Weekend

This past weekend was long because of Labor Day. Hooray for pointless holidays!

Scott had scheduled his (late) birthday LAN party, so Friday after work I stopped by the store and got treats, then came home and helped clean up the house a bit. It wasn't much of a job, since we usually keep things pretty tidy anyway. Our only consistent messes are on the coffee table and the kitchen table, and those didn't take long. He and his friends played from Friday night to Monday night. I don't know how he does it; my eyes get tired enough staring at a computer screen for a few hours.

I tried to arrange something fun with Kwiddens for Friday night but nobody could babysit Nyah and Nyah was sick of the car seat, since they just taken a road trip down to Arkansas to visit our grandparents. It was so sad; Nyah only had to look at her car seat to make her start crying. So I had Friday night to myself, and I just snuggled up on the couch and read "The Hobbit", one of my favorite books.

Saturday morning I got some exercise in, the came home and showered and did a little grocery shopping. Then at 3:00 some friends and I had planned a Lecture Prep reunion at Bicentennial Park in Provo. It was me, Kirk and Angie, Nate, Sarah and her boyfriend Nate and one other guy who worked there after I had already graduated whose name escapes me at the moment. We grilled and had the most amazing sweet corn and talked for 2.5 hours, sharing stories about work and remembering some of the funny things that had happened, and talking about how the Chemistry Department has changed, etc. It was just so nice to see everyone, but it made me miss working there more than ever. Oh well. I have a great job now, too.

Since I was in Provo anyway, I then drove down to Mim's house and met up with her and Em and Jorg and we all went to dinner at The Pizza Factory. After that we were talking about movies and shows we like, and Jorg suggested that some time we should get together and have a Stargate marathon, since he had never seen it. We decided to do it this weekend, since I had work off on Monday, so after dinner I drove Em and Jorg back up to my house. We watched Stargate and ate yummies and talked and it was really fun. They stayed over two nights, and Mim came to get them Monday morning. At one point Sunday night Jorg started to get sick of Stargate, so we played Phase 10 and then went to dinner at Applebee's, which ended up being a little disappointing foodwise, but the company was great. When we got back Jorg went downstairs and played Starcraft 2 with Scott and Jon. Em and I decided it was a good opportunity for chick flicking, so we watched "Moulin Rouge" and "27 Dresses". Jorg came upstairs to grab a drink and asked what Moulin Rouge was about, and I said "um...prostitutes..." and he gave me a funny look and went back downstairs. It was amusing.

Monday after Em and Jorg were gone Jon, Scott and I went and had lunch at MacCool's and then we tackled the downstairs storage room so we could clear it out because LI IS COMING TOMORROW! I'm super excited about that. We're going to have so much fun! We also went to the dollar store to get some candles and the Halloween stuff was out and there were more tombstones for our graveyard for only a dollar each (of course, it's the dollar store), so this year our graveyard will be much better. I love Halloween.

So that was my Labor Day weekend. And now I don't get another day off until Thanksgiving.

Except the few days I'll be taking off for when Li is here.

Just Some Thoughts On A Friday

I got a haircut the other day, and the stylist gave me the longest, most relaxing scalp massage ever. I double tipped her.

I hate nearly all reality TV. But I LOVE Pawn Stars. Chumlee's freaking hilarious.

My neck has been all weird for the last few days. I think I slept on it wrong and now it hurts to move around. Then, my lower back started hurting. I think my nerves are pinched. It's getting better though.

I read Fermat's Enigma by Simon Singh. Oh wait, I didn't read it, I devoured it in two days. It made me want to be a mathematician.

We have all these yellow patches on our lawn. We've watered it enough, as there are lush green patches as well. So we had the lawn guys come over and they took a look, and we have grubs. $40 got us some insecticide, and now we're supposed to water lots and lots until the lawn grows back. I hope it works. We usually have the best-kept lawn on our street.

I had my company's summer party today. Scott met me there after we were both done with work early for the day. There was tasty food, and we got to just sit and relax and get paid for it. It did get boring after a while, though. I don't actually know and talk to very many people in my company at all: the lab people I see every day, and the couple people I bring paperwork to in the mornings, and that's it. So I sat by the people I know and we were getting bored...and then they started drawing for prizes! And guess who won a home theater system? Yes, that's right. Surround sound speakers and a new DVD player. I win. We have them hooked up now and we're watching Aliens. Subwoofer. Oh yes. Buster's not sure what to make of it, though.

Scott turned 26 this past Tuesday. Em's birthday was the same day, so last weekend we all met up for dinner. It's so rare that Kwiddens, Isaac, Nyah, Em, Jorg, Mim, Scott and I ALL get together. We're all so busy and we have schedules that don't mesh very well, plus we all live at least an hour away from each other. Then, yesterday, Kwiddens and Isaac had some things to take care of at Hill AFB, so she stopped by and I got to hold the baby. I can't believe how big she's getting. She can almost hold herself up!

I want...ice cream.

And that's about it.

America Rocks My Socks

This year we decided to celebrate Independence Day at my house with a barbecue/movie night/fireworks display. $70 doesn't go very far when it's fireworks we're talking about:



But we ended up getting a few hours out of them all, even doing more than one at once.

Mim's bithday was on July 1, and we decided to add a little bit of birthday cheer to the festivities. I went to the store to get a cake, and they had some really cute ones, but they were all chocolate, and Mim doesn't eat chocolate, so we settled for a blank one and decorated it ourselves:

Obviously Mim did not turn 24, but we have this joke that we're twins separated by time (we're like the same person, I swear), so I'm 24, so she's 24. I think it was funny. Maybe you had to be there. Please note the frosting tower I made. It tasted excellent.

Here's a picture of all of us, sitting around with food and watching Ratatouille (LOVE that movie) and then Sahara. Also notice that Em's hair is very very blue and she has amazing shoes on.

Everyone got Nyah-holding time, including Jorg, who is NOT a baby person, so he felt really awkward holding her. But I did manage to get a picture of him holding her, and Scott holding Buster (he was not happy about this)( sometimes I wish he were a snuggly lap dog):

Anyway, after the movies Kwiddens and Isaac and Nyah had to go to Isaac's family's party, and at that point it was starting to get dark so we went outside and started the fireworking.

Jorg with a giant sparkler:

We found these really cool fireworks that you nail onto something and they spin around, so we nailed one to Scott's sawhorse (and totally burned it):

Em and Jorg lighting things on fire:

Anyway, we went until about 11:00 and then they all slept over because Mim wasn't feeling well and we didn't want her driving all the way back home.

Awesome party!

Red To Blue

So this past weekend for Memorial Day I went down to Mim's to spend the weekend. One of the main events was dying Em's hair. When she's in school she has to stick to "natural" colors per the school dress code (technically, her shade of red is against the rules but the teachers all like it so much they never write her up for it!), but as soon as it's summer it's time to kick it up a notch.

So here is my beautiful sister Em with her old color:


It's actually more vibrant than this but you get the idea.

Right before we started:


Isn't she adorable? I mean, ahem, totally cool?

Anyway so the game plan was to bleach her hair as white as it would go and then put the blue dye over it to get an icy blue sort of color all over.

We applied the bleach and waited...and waited...after about an hour we figured we should probably rinse it out and this is is what we got:



Not quite as white as we wanted...that red was so stubborn! So, we had Mim go buy another bleaching kit... We applied that and waited...and waited...but it had faded all it was going to fade, so the plan had to change. We decided that the blue over the red would make purple and she was ok with having blue roots and purple tips, so on we went.

Right as I was putting the blue dye on Em had a stroke of brilliance and thought it would be awesome if we left a little bit of it reddish orange in the front, so I sectioned off some and left it while the blue dye did its thing.

So originally it was going to be all blue but I think this turned out much cooler:



Some reddish orange in the front with blue roots in the back and a frosty purple on the tips.

My sister is SO Rock 'n' Roll!

Now, short rant:

When I was Em's age I would have LOVED to have blue hair. Or really any color other than my own. But Dad was so strict...he didn't want us wearing any makeup or even nail polish, let alone dye our hair. Finally Mim convinced him that it would be ok for me to dye it a little, and so I got to dye it a slightly lighter shade of my own natural hair color. So exciting, I know.

Anyway, now that Dad is out of the picture (mostly, anyway) Mim has seen the light and relaxed and realized that it's FREAKING FUN to have crazy colors in your hair, and is a lot more lenient with Em and Jorg than she ever was with me and Kwiddens.

Totally not fair.

Just another gem of a memory from my childhood.

Rant over.

Kwiddens and The Family

From the left:

Me, Mim, Kwiddens, Em, Jorg

We're a pretty family, if you ask me.

Sorry for short/intermittent posts. Typing still hurts, although I was allowed to take my splint off today :)

Birthday Bash

So this past Friday Jorg tuned 14. I can't believe it, it seems like he was just born yesterday. It makes me sound old to say that.

Anyway, so Scott and I went down there to celebrate on Saturday.


On Friday, we had had flu shots (my work gave them to us for free, yay) and so we were both feeling a little crappy.


So we went down there and went to Brick Oven for lunch. Every time I have ever been there, it has been so delicious and the service was great.


Not this time.


SO let's begin with our server. He was very quiet, so we had to strain to hear him. He was terse and socially awkward. He was unprofessional. And he took a long long time to get anything done. When he brought the check at the end of the meal, he called Mim "young lady" (this guy can't have been older than 21 or 22) which was very rude and patronizing and Mim was really bothered by this.


The food: Scott's soup smelled like B.O. Not even kidding. My salad was all wilty and drowned in salad dressing, and the chicken on it was overcooked to where it was mushy. Ugh. The only good thing was the garlic bread, and the apple beer I had (LOVE apple beer, but it's so hard to find).


But, we had a fun conversation and some good laughs.


Then we wanted to do something else, so Scott suggested going to the mall. Jorg was down with the idea, so we all went over there and split up (I know, this was "family time", but we all like to look at different things) and after about ten minutes Jorg called Mim's phone and said he wanted to go.


Jorg does this all the time. He will be ok with something, then get moody and want to stop after just a few minutes. He did it once when I came down specifically to hang out with him, and he was being so annoying that I ditched him and hung out with Mim instead.


While we were at the restaurant he was pouty and when the server asked him if he wanted a birthday treat he just scowled at him, and so when we were at the mall and Jorg wanted to go, and suggested a movie, I pulled Mim aside and told her I didn't want to because ten minutes into the movie Jorg would just start to pout again and say he didn't want to be there. I didn't drive all that way just to have a birthday party for someone who clearly didn't even want to be there in the first place. So, I said goodbye and Scott and Kwiddens and I just left.


I really hope he gets over this moody thing soon. I want to spend time with him, I really do, but how can I when he never wants to do anything?


Moving on.


Scott had to go out of town this week on business. It's only two nights alone, but I feel so strange sleeping alone. I was so lonely yesterday so I went to the craft store even though I had promised myself I wouldn't buy crafty things until after the mortgage. I only spent $25 but it was the principle of the thing.


I bought a bead organizer for when I am working on my perpetual Christmas tree project, two skeins of sock yarn in really happy colors, and fabric to make myself knitting bags.


So I spent lots of time yesterday and today working on making a knitting bag, and it looks terrible but I am so impressed with myself (I don't really know how to sew, I just make it up as I go...). I love the fabric I got, and I'm having fun figuring out how to put together a lining and making pockets and straps and I will post pictures when I'm finished and when Scott is back with the camera.


I felt so stupid. I set up my sewing machine (it was a surprise from my Scott) and got everything cut out and ironed on the interfacing and was ready to start sewing and I got one seam done before my machine made a weird grinding noise and stopped and gave me error messages. I was so mad at the machine and I went to bed grumpy about it and then I got the bright idea to read the manual, and it turns out I was using the wrong kind of bobbin so it was all my fault in the first place. Silly me.


Sometimes I wonder how in the world I got a degree when I do stupid, ditsy things all the time.


On another, completely unrelated note, yesterday I came out to my car after work to this:

I also had to scrape snow off my car, and this morning it was ice. Winter has come, all in one day. And I forgot to turn on the furnace last night so this morning when I woke up it was around 50 degrees in my house...I took a super hot shower!

What Is It About Our House?

So today the FTIR guy came. The REAL one. From Perkin-Elmer. Dude worked on the instrument for three solid hours and came up empty-handed. This whole thing is way past annoying now. Of course the service technicians always come when it is most INconvenient. We had 20 samples today plus I had outside testing and monthly water testing, and I had to retest ALL of the mercury samples, so I was pretty busy, and I have such a small instrument room that I had to dance around FTIR Dude to get my work done. Annoying.

Moving on.

I exercised today! I am so incredibly out of shape. This is pathetic, but my goal was to do just 20 minutes on the treadmill. BUT, I didn't feel like dying so I went 35 MINUTES WOW. And I pushed myself too. Now, I just need to do this every day and get into shape really fast so I look awesome in my bikini when we go to Vegas next month.

Yes, Vegas. We're planning to go Pioneer Day weekend. Mim and Scott and I will drive down Thursday after work and stay until Sunday morning. We're going to hit up all the free stuff (there's actually quite a lot to do if you're cheap) and soak up the sun. I'm really excited. I've been on road trips before, but I've never actually planned a vacation and gone on it. We didn't even really go on a honeymoon (I think what we did was better: spend a whole week shopping and eating out and seeing movies and doing fun stuff while we got our house organized. No planning involved! And no money spent! Except on the vacuum cleaner. Definitely spent $500.00 on that one) so this will be really cool for me. I don't really like being away from home, where everything is familiar and I have all my stuff around me, but I think I can deal for a few days. Our friend is going to house-sit (and puppy-sit) and Mim is going to board Gir and have someone check in on the bunnies and snakes, and then we're not going to worry about anything or anyone else for THREE WHOLE DAYS!

Em and Jorg will be going to Cedar Point (somewhere in Ohio?) to ride roller coasters with Dad so Mim would be all alone and bored if we didn't do something together. How sad would that be?

So. Our house.

This is the second time someone has tried to break into our house. Seriously, what's the deal?!

Now, don't get me wrong, we have a lot of valuables, but I'm sure all the other houses do too...and it's been ours twice.

I got home and let Buster outside, but I didn't go out myself. I exercised, showered, and wound a ball of yarn before Scott got home. When he got home, he let Buster out again and went with him to play. Now, yesterday he had gone around and put screens back on windows. But today when he went into the backyard one of the screens had been pulled off and another was almost off. It couldn't have been wind or anything because they are designed to be hard to pull off. Now luckily we lock all our windows and Buster was probably barking like crazy (we don't know, it happened while we were at work). There were perfect fingerprints, but the policeman who came thought it was most likely stupid kids getting into mischief. He was a really nice guy. We talked about the neighborhood and he had some really good suggestions aboout home security so over the next few days we will be looking into buying a gun safe and making a security system (seriously, Scott can make anything with electronics. Genius.) that we can monitor from our computer and program to send us a text message if the alarm is triggered. COOL.

We also decided to do an entire home inventory, with the make, model, and serial numbers of all our electronics and guns, plus lists of all the furniture and how much it's worth, a list of all our movies and CDs, etc. Then we will store the list not only on our computers but on our online server and we will have that in case things are stolen or the house burns down or something and we need to make a police report or insurance claim.

We're grownups!

I finished the second season of Bones that Scott got me. I love the TV on DVD idea. Genius. Of course that means I have seen every episode of Stargate EVER like, five times. I'm not nerdy or anything. Nope, not me.

OH YEAH I ALMOST FORGOT. I freaking finished the socks! It only took me months...there were just so many stitches, and they were so tiny, and it got boring in the middle just going around and around and around...yeah. But they're done. And Mim is getting them this weekend at her birthday celebration. Here they are on my feet:They are still a little stiff because I haven't washed them yet, but they feel like a hug, but for your feet. Seriously, if you have never worn hand-knit socks you are missing out.

Scott has been building a remote-control lawn mower (coolest project ever, there will definitely be a post about it when it's done) and so he has been practicing welding. He welded me this message:I am so loved.

Now here's what Scott does at work: OctoStacker.
My husband is so sexy.

So Much For The Rolls...

We came home to this:Jorg ate the insides out of all the rolls. He's very picky and doesn't like crust, which is fine, but now nobody gets to enjoy the rolls.

I can't have stupid rolls anyway. But I've lost 35-40 pounds, depending on the day. I have the three weeks now with no sugars or starches, and then I will try to lose a few more pounds over the next few months by exercise and portion control, plus some HUGE changes in eating habits.

I am finally taking charge of my health. AWESOME.

P.S. This is my first blog from Baby Lappie. I will get a picture of it soon and post. It's PINK!

Second Sock...itis

It's a disease. I made the first sock in two days and I was just chugging along and now I'm on the second and it seems to be going SO SLOW. I want to skip to something else, but I don't really feel like starting something new and I don't feel like weaving in the ends on my sweater so I am stuck making the sock. As long as I get a little done every day I won't mind.

Kirk and Angie got the baby blanket I made them in the mail and they said they like it :)

I was going to go spend the weekend at Mim's, but I think I changed my mind. Jorg has pink eye (stupid parents let their kids go to school with infectious diseases, boo) and Em is out of town for an orchestra thing (she gets to go play in Vegas, no fair!) and Mim doesn't know if she would have to work or not, so our weekend will be indefinitely postponed, since next weekend will be the weekend Scott and I start hCG again so we will need to be in the house every day since the injections aren't exactly portable. So there will be three and a half weeks where we're tied to the house, then maybe I will go spend some time there. I want to hang out with everyone, but if two of them aren't going to be there and one is sick (and since I get sick so easily I'm not risking it) I might as well have another relaxing weekend in the house.

This past weekend we saw Monsters vs. Aliens, and we were so impressed at how cute it was! They're making such good movies that are good for whole families to see, which makes me happy. We also went to Olive Garden, which we haven't for a while, and it was pretty good but I was surprised and a bit appalled at some person that came in in her ratty pajamas (!) and gross, uncombed hair. Now, I understand that sometimes you're tired and/or sick and/or overwhelmed with whatever, and sometimes you're in your grubby clothes and you need to run to the store to get something or other. That's one thing. But it's entirely something else to go to a semi-nice restaurant dressed like you've had the flu for a week. Gross. I felt kinda bad because I couldn't stop staring at her, like I just couldn't believe it.

I am reading Vanity Fair and I like parts of it and parts of it drag on and on and for the first time in my life I am tempted to just not finish it. I'm never like that. It drives me NUTS to not know the ending of a book, but I tell you what, this one is almost unbearable. But, I am also reading The Jungle, and loving every word of it, although the whole thing is just sad and tragic.

My tummy hurts.

Christmas Fun

So, it's been a while since I've written. It just seems like nothing is really happening worth mentioning. But, then I sit down to think about it, and that's not really true. I just don't know how interesting anyone else would find it!

So...we're going to Mim's for Christmas. Scott has to work Christmas Eve, but only until about noon, so after we will go down to her house. We will have Christmas Eve cheeseburgers as per tradition, and then we'll probably play games and stay up late and just have a blast hanging out with each other. Scott and I got awesome presents for Em and Jorg and Mim and we're just so excited for it all to come together!

So, big news! Not really. My instrument is acting screwy again. Yes, AGAIN. And, of course, my tech is on vacation this upcoming week...haha. I'm going to try to reprogram the darn thing on Monday, but we'll see if that actually works. But, I only have to work Monday and Tuesday this week, and then I get five days! Woo!

We had our company Christmas party on Friday, and I won a basket with all sorts of candy and goodies, and so I have eaten SO healthily this weekend...heh.

Here is a cute picture of Buster sticking his head out of the window:

It's been snowing! Finally! I've had to shovel four times, and it's still snowing, so I'll probably shovel again tomorrow! I know it's work, but I just love shoveling!

And Scott got me Jewel's and Sarah McLachlan's Christmas albums. Happy day!

Cashmere

I want cashmere. Yarn, that is. Fingering weight...I want to make a sweater. The sweater I made Mim turned out so well that I want to make myself one. I'll post pics of Mim's later.
The problem is, cashmere yarn is so ridiculously expensive, and it comes in 50 g balls, so it would take like, 20 to make the darn thing, and cashmere can cost anywhere from $5 to $15 per skein. So, at least, $100 to make it. Dumb. I've been stalking all the yarn stores online to see if something comes on sale. I found this one website, mypollywogs.com, that sells yarn on spools, which is perfect because there are fewer ends to tie and weave in. Anyway, I went to buy something from them for a great price, but they were out of stock. So, I e-mailed them back and asked about another product, but I guess the lady that works there had a death in the family so she said she would get back to me next week or something, so hopefully the other stuff I want will be in stock and I'll be able to make a sweater!

This past weekend I went down to see my family. Friday night Mim and I went shopping. We found a comforter set with sheets and pillowcases, the works. I bought it for her for an early Christmas present, but when we got it home and tried it on the bed it didn't fit, so we had to return it the next day. Too bad...it was really pretty. Anyway, after we went shopping we went to Red Lobster for dinner. Mim had never been there, and she really liked it, and I tried lobster for the first time, and I liked it, but I still like crab better. Saturday I woke up early because my body is on a schedule now (boo, I can't sleep in if I try) and took a bath in Mim's giant tub and it was so relaxing...I've been a little stressed lately with things being broken at work. After that, I was able to fall back asleep for a few hours.

Saturday the plan had been for me and Em and Jorg to go to lunch together, and then we would come home and Mim and I would run errands. But Em and Jorg wanted to come with us, so we all went to Provo together and we went to Pizza Factory for lunch. Bad idea. The one by Mim's house is great, the one by my house is great, but this one was awful! Bad food, bad service. Never going there again. Anyway, then we went to run our errands and Em and Jorg complained the whole time...grrr. They had asked to come along. Anyway. We went to Kohl's to return that comforter set, and they wouldn't put it back on my card. They said either store credit or cash, and I said I didn't want store credit, and the salesgirl got this look on her face like, I don't want to be here and I don't want to help you. Anyway.

Then we went to a specialty yarn shop in Provo, looking for yarn for aforementioned sweater. These old ladies were running it. I looked around, and then I asked if they had any cone yarn and they argued with me about why I wanted cone yarn and I explained that I hate weaving in ends and then she tried to tell me she could teach me to tie off ends and weave them in, like I wouldn't know. She saw me, 22, and thought well she's not 80 years old so she must not know anything about anything. Gr. I'm not stupid, people, and I can crochet better than 99 percent of crocheters out there. So there.

I stayed at Mim's until Sunday evening, and I was so tired when I got home that I went to bed almost right away.

Monday I went in to work and my first e-mail of the day was from Richard: I'm coming to fix your instrument today! Woohoo! Now here's the funny thing: it took him all of five minutes to fix it. I was so mad. It isn't something I could have fixed or I would have felt so horrible. It turns out that the tension was off between the contact cones and between the two halves of the magnet. He said what probably happened was the last time it was calibrated, the contact cones were on wrong and so when they were on right, like now, the instrument thought it was wrong.

Either way, it's fixed! So I'm back on schedule, back into my rhythm. It makes me feel so much better. I'm a creature of habit, and when things get different, I get stressed, even if there's nothing making me work harder, even if nothing's hard. I just feel all out of sync I guess. So I'm feeling better, more relaxed. I got a good night's sleep last night. That might be because of the benadryl though. Being at Mim's is great, but she has so many animals, so for a few days after I get home from there I have to take antihistamines and decongestants or I'm miserable. So, I took a half dose of benadryl last night and it helped a lot.

There were only two samples today, so I thought I was going to be out by 12:30 at the latest, but then another lab called with the results from all our retests, and everything was way high and didn't look right, so I had to re-prep everything since last Tuesday and run them, so I was there until 1:30. Still not bad.

I came home, bought lunch and some new fish, and took a nap after I picked Scott up. Scott then went to Naomi's to fix her computer, and even though he couldn't fix it, she slipped him a hundred dollars. I know she loves to give her loved ones money, but I feel so bad...I mean, she's getting old and probably needs it more than we do. But she's a sweetheart, and we love her.

For Thanksgiving, we're going to Scott's family's house, and then when we're done there we're going to spend the weekend at Mim's.

Two Days in a Row!

So I don't know why but I feel like ranting a bit.

First, work:
I swear on the precious that I told my boss's boss last week that it was the furnace and the spectrometer that needed a service plan, and that the furnace was the last thing to have broken. So, of course, what do I find out today? He didn't sign us up for the furnace, just the spectrometer. Which never breaks. Ever. So, he's going to try and re-negotiate and fix it, which means who knows how many more days without my instrument.

Ok, me:
I am so freaking tired all the time lately. I'm tired, and munchy, and dizzy sometimes...I've gained two pounds, which doesn't seem like much but to someone who is constantly at the same weight all the time for ever and always it's a change. I'm also getting these headaches...blech. I want to get back to dieting and exercising, and so every day I think to myself, "Gee, I think I'll spend a half an hour on the treadmill today!" and then I get home and feel like crap feels on a bad day. SO TIRED.

On the plus side, I am exploring the fun of trying to crochet socks without a pattern. My mom likes red socks, so I am making her red socks. I have no idea what I'm doing. I've undone them three times now...yeah.

Ok, family:
I hate that I live two hours away from Mim and Em and Jorg, and I should really be grateful that's all it is, because the only other way it would be is if they never left Sioux Falls, and then I would never see them ever because gas got expensive. I am glad I get to see them about once a month, but sometimes I get lonely and want to spend time with them, and they're all the way down there and I can't just go visit because I have to go to work and stuff. I like work, but I like my family too.

I am so tired of seeing kids out with their parents, where the kid and the dad are talking and smiling and joking around and just having a blast with each other. I'm so freaking jealous...I hate to admit it, because my whole life I haven't had a good, strong father figure in my life, and I like to think that I'm strong and I don't want or need it, but it isn't always true. Jealous.
I'm tired of dad thinking we're all retarded enough to fall for his crappy lies.

I love Scott. More than yarn, and pickles, and puppies, and music. That's a lot of love.

LONG Time

Ok, so there's no excuse this time for being so late...every time I got home from work I would get on the lappie in the living room and all my pictures are on my desktop so I was like, I don't want to post without pictures, that would be boring, etc. and the rest was all pure lazy.


Anyway.


Here is a picture of something my brother made:They are apple-chuks. Yes, my brother is awesome.

We had the first snow a while ago, and it hasn't snowed since. Just rain. I hate it when it's like, "I'm going to snow" and then it doesn't, or it just melts. Hopefully soon. It makes driving dreadful, not because driving in snow is hard or anything, but because nobody in Utah knows how to drive to begin with, let alone with snow. Here is our yard the day it snowed though:

Boring, small backyard, but snow makes it magical!
I ordered some tee shirts online. I ordered this one from toothpastefordinner.com (One of the best websites ever, also check out nataliedee.com and superpoop.com):


Unfortunately, the sizing runs big so I have to exchange it for a smaller size...I hate it when you buy something on the internet, and they say it's this big, etc., and they give you measurements, and you get the thing and it isn't really that measurement...yeah.
So one of my projects lately has been to start food storage. We finally have room and with the way the economy is going right now it wouldn't hurt to have non-perishable food around just in case. So, I figure so far I have about 2 months of food if we tighten our belts a bit, and I add to it every time we go grocery shopping. Here it is so far, but since I took this picture I've added even more to it.

Anyway. That's it for pictures, at least for now. I made a sweater for Mim, which I need to take a picture of, since it turned out really well. I want to make one for myself now in pink cashmere, but it's going to be expensive, so I'm going to make socks for now. I'm having so much fun making things for other people that I forget to make things for me. The sweater for Mim was supposed to be for me, but when I had gotten far enough that I didn't want to start over, I realized that it was going to be too small for me. Way too small. But, since Mim is smaller than I am, it'll work out just fine!
Ok. Work. DRAMA. First, my boss got fired. Out of nowhere. We all knew he and his boss didn't get along, but we thought they could at least keep that professional. It looks as if his boss took a lot of minor things and wrote him up for them and used it as justification for firing him. So, everyone was kinda sad and angry, because we all liked our lab manager and we thought he was actually doing a very good job as a boss. So the next day the new boss started. I think he's cool. He seems to know what he is doing, and it really good at taking the initiative and figuring things out and getting it done. He's been really helpful while my instrument is down, but that'll be the next story. So he started, and another woman in our lab had a really bad attitude about it from the beginning...she just has a short fuse, and she and the old manager were really getting to be good friends. So, a week went by and everything started to smooth out, and then she got called into the boss's boss's office. She then stormed back into the lab and announced that she had quit. I guess what happened is he tried to call her on her attitude problem and she took it badly, and didn't want to have people telling her what to do and how to be (which is silly because that's what being someone's boss means). So she was gone. Now, when our lab manager was fired, they had planned it in advance and had someone to replace him, but since she just quit they had nobody. SO. She walked out, and we had no idea where in her work she was. And since our new boss was only a week old, he wasn't entirely sure of the methods and prep and such and so for a week we kinda had to tag team it to cover her work while they tried to find someone to replace her. But they found someone. Hwent to BYU, and I actually think I had him in a lab class, or else I delivered demos to his chemistry classes, because he looks familiar and he said I looked familiar. But he's really nice and very smart and clean, which is nice because between the four of us we will get that lab clean and organized if it kills us. I really want to scrub out that fume hood somehow, but I just don't know how I would do it. It's so dirty and corroded. Nast.
Things are calm at work now.
Even though my instrument broke.
Again. It won't let me get a new cuvette in. It won't even let me do a clean burn on it, it just says error! and it's an error message I've never seen before, so I called tech support, and they told me to change the contact cones, and that didn't fix it, so we need to get someone to come out and take a look at it. Here's the catch: the last time it broke my boss's boss was looking into getting a service contract for the instrument, but then they stuck it on the back burner and it expired. So, now, as soon as this happened they were like OH NO and they started getting the contract set up all over again. So, once it's set up, we should be able to get someone out, but I'm not sure when that will be. In the meantime, we didn't want to spend a gazillion dollars sending out all the heavy metals samples to another lab, so my new manager and I put our heads together and figured out some methods on the ICP to run heavy metals and so far it's mostly working. We're getting some interferences, such as manganese with lead, but most of them work so we're only having to send out two or three samples a day. The nice thing is, we're sending them to a lab we contract with instead of the (expensive) lab we usually use, and so they aren't charging us. I think my coworker must have set up a deal with them or something because I know we do a lot of their testing.
It's fun because I'm getting to learn ICP, which is good experience to have. Pretty fun. Also, as soon as the new manager figures out more of the methods on the HPLC, he's going to teach me so I can help out with the testing.
I just ordered a Zune from Best Buy. I'll get it next week or so, and I hope I like it. I read a ton of product reviews and customer reviews about it, and it seems like exactly what I want in an mp3 player. There were a few little things people didn't like about it, but for the most part it sounds perfect. I'll let you know how much I like it. It's pink. I *heart* pink.

New House, Old Snake

It's been a long time since I posted, but there are good excuses! We got a house, and we're moving this coming Saturday, so we've been pretty busy packing and planning, etc. As soon as we have our house full of stuff and organized, I'll post some pictures. It really is a beautiful house! We have a ton of people who are going to help us move, and we'll have conference playing on the TV and pizza ordered so it will be like a moving conference party, I guess.

I was down at Mim's a little while ago. I went for Jorgen's birthday, so I spent almost all of Saturday hanging out with him. We went shopping and saw a movie. While I was there, though, I helped my mom get things put together. She's moving back to her big house, so we painted and got floors ready to be installed and stuff. Anyway, she doesn't have a place to keep Roach (her boa constrictor), so she's giving him away. Before he left I got some pretty pictures of him. He was HUNGRY. I would get close to the cage and he would coil up as if to strike me through the glass. But, when we tried to feed him, he wouldn't eat! Weird. Anyway.



He's gorgeous. Six feet long! It's sad to see him go, but it's very expensive to feed a boa constrictor! And dangerous. We always had to keep weights on the top of his cage because even though it supposedly locks he can still muscle his way out. He could have strangled someone easily.