Pictures To Catch Up

I hate Blogger with an unbridled passion. I hate centered text, but it won't let me use left alignment because it's a piece of...never mind...just got it to work...

First up is a picture of the lovely Em, who has changed her hair once again. It's a very very dark blue, so dark that you can't tell it's blue until you're right up on it. I love it.

Nyah is starting to eat solid foods! Here she is trying sweet potatoes for the first time. Only babies are adorable when they spit food out; anyone else gets dirty looks.

This is Mim's deck. This is only one of the snow storms she's had this winter. We haven't been so lucky; we get a bit, then it melts, then we get a bit more, and right now it's staying but who knows for how long?

Poor Kwiddens finally got her wisdom teeth taken out. This picture is not flattering at all, but she said I could put it on the internet so here you go. She was miserable not being able to eat regularly, and at one point she got dry socket and had to go in for extra care. She hated the clove oil they packed them with, but remembering back to when I had mine taken out, I loved it! It smelled so good and the pain was all but gone!

A long time ago I posted a picture of a pair of lacy gloves I had made, but I never posted about the scarf that matches them:

It's a wool/cashmere blend, so it's super soft and surprisingly warm.

Here is my Christmas tree skirt. I made it myself.

Here is my Christmas tree, all decked out with my handmade ornaments. I can't decide if I'm sick of them or not. Part of me wants to just get new, store-bought ornaments and make it look more put-together, and sell the old set. There's a lot there, and it's all handmade lace, so I might be able to get at least $100 for it. Maybe.

Too Tired To Deal With It

I can't get blogger to do what I want, so screw it all. Here are some awesome pictures of Nyah.

Reverb 10: Core Story

December 31 Core Story


What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)

Let's think. What could be a common thread running through my reflections for the past month (and before that, too)?

FOOD ISSUES. Weight issues. Etc.

I share it with the world here on these pages. It helps me get it out. It helps me sort through it. And it helps me look at it in a (slightly) more objective manner. Also, it makes me feel like I'm accountable to more than just myself.

This is the last prompt. I reached my goal! I didn't like some of the prompts. I really related to some of them. But I was glad to respond to all of them, just so I could say I did. Maybe I'll do it again next year.

Reverb 10: Achieve

December 28 Achieve


What's the thing you most want to achieve next year?  How do you imagine you'll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

I want to get down to my ideal weight. That's all I really want to achieve. I mean, yes, I want to get more done on the house and I definitely want to knit more beautiful things and I want to keep blogging; there are definitely other things that I want to achieve. BUT, this is the biggest goal I have for this year. It's within reach. I know I can get there. But once I get there...

...I have to maintain it. I HAVE to. I know I've been sort of obsessing about it lately, but I will go insane and do crazy things if I don't. It's going to be hard. I'm just going to have to say no to so many tasty things. But it will be worth it in the end.

Now, when I make it down to my ideal weight, I'm going to feel hope. Hope that I can keep working hard and keep the weight off. Hope that I'll continue to get regular exercise. Hope that I'll eventually be able to break this stupid cycle of weight loss (and loving myself) and weight gain (and hating myself) and be happy and whole.

Ten things I can do or think today (or in the next few weeks, maybe?) that can help me experience a feeling of hope today (or in the next few weeks, maybe?):

1. Thought: I have eaten nothing but good, healthy food since the day after Christmas. I know that's only three days so far, but I'm thinking positive here.
2. Action: I will continue to eat nothing but good, healthy food. I know I can't portion, so I'm just not going to tempt myself. It's a little easier since Scott is dieting, too.
3. Thought: I feel great when I exercise.
4. Action: I will get to the gym at least three times a week consistently, and five days a week if I can.
5. Thought: I am stronger than my cravings.
6. Action: I will stop and think when I crave something. I will try to figure out what emotion I'm experiencing, and go from there.
7. Thought: I am beautiful regardless of my shape or size.
8. Action: I will ignore the mirror on bad days, and prance around in front of it on good days.
9. Thought: Although weight matters, it's more about how healthy I feel.
10. Action: I will continue to weigh myself, because I don't think I can NOT weigh myself, but I will gauge my progress more by how much energy I have and how I feel about myself. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to lose weight. It just means that if I get down to 140 pounds (the upper "healthy" weight limit for my height) and I feel healthy, I won't obsess over losing more.

I'm betting putting these thoughts into action is going to be easier said than done. But what kind of a journey would life be if I got it all easily? I'll just have to chant to myself "Whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger" over and over (and then be mad that I can't eat candy).

And check it out. I'm all caught up! Until tomorrow.

Reverb 10: Healing

December 19 Healing


What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

What a loaded question.

I've been healing for years now, from all sorts of things. It's always a long process. It's always a difficult process. It may never end, but I'll keep trying.

I think the biggest single thing that healed me (of what, I don't know) this past year was blogging. It's been a little surprising to me how much I've learned about myself while I'm writing. It's good to think about what's going on in my head. It's weird in there, for sure, but there are some good things floating around in there as well.

I think having a place to write whatever I want, or whatever I need, sometimes, is so healthy for me. I mean, yes, a lot of the time my content is just about daily life, or pictures of Buster or The Best Baby Ever, but sometimes when something's really eating at me I can write a bit, and I don't write much, but for every word I write there are five more in my head that I didn't share with you all, and putting some of it down helps me sort out the rest. Trust me, you're glad I have a filter (I'm freaking nuts, remember?).

So this is gradual. It's slow. And I'm ok with that.

So how would I like to be healed in 2011? Well, the biggest thing I'm constantly worrying about right now is my crappy emotional eating problems. I don't know if I'll ever be able to heal the emotional roots of this problem, but hopefully this coming year I can at least break the cycle and find another way to express those emotions. Who knows, maybe I'll change from an emotional eater to an emotional marathon runner. I'd have great legs, for sure...

Reverb 10: Community

December 7 Community

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create, or more deeply connect with in 2011?

In 2010 I feel like I have found a little niche in the blogging community. I've been blogging for a long time, but for the longest time I had very few followers; it was basically just for me and a few close friends. But this past year a few people started reading what I have to say, and I read what they have to say, and I'm really enjoying it. When I write something and someone leaves a comment, I feel validated, and some days I really need that.

As to 2011, I want to become more involved in the crochet/kniting community, both online and here where I live. I'm on Ravelry, but I don't usually sign on except to check my messages. I need to blog more about the things I make, as well. I have to show off to someone! In my town, I've joined a small crochet group that meets Wednesday nights, and I've missed several weeks (and several weeks were cancelled) due to various reasons, and I want to go more often. It's a lot of fun, and frankly, I need to get out of the house more.

Reverb 10: Writing

December 2 Writing

What do you do each day that doesn't contribute to your writing - and can you eliminate it?

Well. I don't consider myself a serious writer. I mean, it would be wicked awesome to write a book someday or something...actually, it's something I've always wanted to do. But this blog? It's not supposed to  be professional. It's not even an obligation. So even if something weren't contributing to my writing, I wouldn't be concerned about it.

That being said, I must answer the prompt! So I suppose I have this habit of watching the same TV series over and over again...I suppose that could be stifling creativity as a result of inspiration from new material. In my own defense, however, I am knitting or crocheting while I watch the shows, so it's nicer for me to watch a show I've seen before so I can follow the story without looking at the screen as much. It turns out, I have to look while I crochet. I know there are people that can do it without looking, but I lack that particular skill.

I suppose I could try to work more time into my day to work on writing, but as I said, I'm not really serious about it. Don't get me wrong, I love blogging, but writing more just isn't on my list of goals.

A Challenge For December

So...I'm going to attempt this. Attempt, because I am one forgetful person.
Reverb10
Each day in December I'm given a prompt, and each day I'm supposed to respond to it. Fortunately, there are no guidelines on how long my post has to be...which makes it a little easier to keep up with.
It's a challenge.
Let's go!

No, Thank YOU

So one of the blogs I visit daily, PCL, did a post a few days ago for Thanksgiving and gave me a "Thank You For Blogging" award. AWESOME. It was super sweet of her to pick me, and the rules say I should pass the award on to four people, so I think I will do that. Four days late. What can I say? I'm enjoying my vacation weekend!

So I really do enjoy the blogosphere. That's what it's called, right? Anyway. It's given me the opportunity to make friends, explore new worlds, and improve my own writing. So here's a quick Thank You to a few of my favorite bloggers.

First up is, of course, PCL. I must return the favor! She writes about everything from music she gets stuck in her head to things that happen at home with The Mister and the cats and Rocky the Dog, and every times she writes anything she ties it in to some vast cosmic meaning and it makes me happy every weekday.

Next is a blog I recently discovered when poking around for new reading material: The Hindsight Letters. It's just fabulous. One of the regular features is a look back at things that were fashionable when the author was a teenager (and some of those were en vogue when I was a teen, as well) and HOO BOY I had totally forgotten most of those...probably for good reason! She, and her guests, write letters to their teenage selves, and there's no way to describe how awesome it is so go and click the link and you'll be hooked, I promise.

Although she doesn't post as often as I'd like (hint, hint), Heartsick and Headstrong is another awesome one I always read. How can you not embrace life and carpe diem and all that once you've had a heart attack? Her story is inspirational and she had the most adorable posts about her cat.

Fourth, my dear Miss Magnolia. She gets down and dirty with the nitty gritty of feelings, relationships, the past, trials (literally and figuratively...she's a lawyer)...just all sorts of things that make up the human experience. She has a way with words and she'll make you think about your own feelings and experiences.

An honorable mention, only because he's too swamped with traffic to check out my tiny little blog space, is Single Dad Laughing. He has a few really good posts, "power posts" he calls them, that everyone should check out sometime. They really make you think. Also, his kid is adorable. Also, he is obsessed with M&Ms.

I really love blogging. I love my bloggy friendships. I love having a way to share what's important to me with family and friends.

So SAD, But My Cabinets Are Gorgeous

There are just a few completely unrelated things bouncing around in my head today that I'd like to share.

Let me tell you something about me: daylight savings time totally effs me up. As soon as we made the time change and it was suddenly dark outside at freaking SIX...my body went OH NO NO SUNLIGHT LET'S CRY FOREVER. Seriously. I've got a few personal things on my mind that are just weighing on me terribly, and when I went to the gym and instead of feeling skinny and empowered and beautiful like I usually do, I went home and when I took my clothes off to take a shower and I saw myself in the mirror and I just...lost it.

I feel like I've been busting my ass trying to lose weight and it just doesn't happen. I know I could definitely do better. I could go to the gym more often (although I've been doing three times a week or more consistently) (because I'm a total ROCK STAR). And I know I could be eating better. Confession: I've been eating french fries lately. I don't think this is a problem in and of itself, because I'm not eating them often at all. But, all things considered, I could be doing better to eat healthier. So even though I'm a lot better off that I was a few years ago, I still feel like a total failure. After doing the hCG diet and losing so much weight so quickly, it is KILLING me to lose one pound a week (or some weeks not lose any) (ok, most weeks not lose any). I want a quick fix. I want to wake up one day and just magically be a size 8. Or a 10. Whatever. I just want to feel better about myself than I do now, and I feel like that's always going to be connected to the number on the scale. I'm just...stuck.

I'm sure I'll feel better later, but for now that's what's going on in my nutty head.

So anyway, back to yesterday after my shower. I got dressed and called Mim with only the intent of complaining about the size of my derriere, but what really happened was everything that I had been putting to the back of my mind for the last few weeks just came flooding out and before I knew it I was bawling and just freaking out about everything at once and my poor mother, who is a saint, talked me down. We talked about some really important stuff and I just have to say that she's the best friend a girl could ever have. She lets me say whatever I need to and she never gets offended or judgemental or anything like that, just like I can talk to Kwiddens and have her be totally awesome. I have some really awesome people in my life, I really do.

So, here's the plan:
Keep exercising.
Keep taking happy pills.
Bust out my SAD light. It's this amazing nifty light that mimics sunlight, and you shine it on yourself in the morning for a little while every day and it helps with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) (it's awesome that it's called that, because oh look, it makes you sad).

Blargh. I hate being crazy. Moving on.

Scott has been working very very hard, coding like no nerd has coded before, for a few months, building a new system at work. He recently finished it, and everyone in the entire company, and all the customers, and all the members of the board have had nothing but praise for the system, and I am SO proud of him. He works so hard, and I'm so glad he's getting some recognition for that. He's smart AND handy! Also, he gets more PTO than I do and he has to use it up by the end of the year, so he has every Friday for the rest of the year off, plus extra days around Christmas and Thanksgiving. Jerk (he totally deserves it though).

Last weekend we installed our new cabinets, and they look AMAZING! Amazing as in, I walk up the stairs and go WHOA IS THAT REALLY MY KITCHEN?? I've been intending to post about it, on here and on Facebook, but the SAD has got me feeling unmotivated to do ANYTHING except work on Mim's blanket. And watch Battlestar Galactica. Again. Really, the idea of sitting down and blogging has seemed totally boring to me (yet, here I am...blogging). So I will post about it, I promise, I just don't know when.

The countertop dude is coming over tomorrow while Scott is at home (not at work...jerk) to take measurements, and then the following Friday we'll have countertops installed and we will have a FULLY FUNCTIONAL KITCHEN. Like, appliances plugged in and water turned on and everything. You have no idea how excited I am about this.

I think once the countertops are in I'm going to go through all my dishes and such and decide what to keep and what to donate and organize everything exactly where I want it, and put the silverware in the SILVERWARE DRAWER...I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but we didn't have a freaking silverware drawer before but now we do and it's the most awesomely epic thing EVER.

Then I plan on busting out the crock pot and learning to cook a bit. I'll actually have space to do it!

Now look. It's 7:30 and I'm so sleepy...stupid Daylight Savings Time. I wonder how long it's going to take me to adjust this time...and then I'll get to do it again in the spring. Oh, joy.

Switching...?

I'm thinking about switching away from Blogger, probably to Wordpress. Blogger screws up my formatting all the time and it's bugging the hell out of me.

Thoughts?

Answers

A few days ago I got a few good questions to answer, so I'm using them to make a post! I didn't make it to 20 for August, but maybe I can for September.

magnolia (it takes everything in me not to capitalize this...) asked:

money is no object, nor is time. where are you going on your dream trip? what are you doing when you get there?

Well, magnolia, it would be a four-phase trip. First would be a tour of Scotland etc., to see all the castles. I would also go visit Nessie. I probably would spend mucho $$ to get non-English food, because I hear their native foods are...well, disgusting.

Second would be a trip south, through Rome (where I would stay for a few days and see some of the really old, really pretty stuff) on my way to Egypt.

Egypt. It's somewhere I've always wanted to go. I would grease a few palms to make sure I could get up close and personal into tombs and other restricted areas...people generally let you do more when you give them money. I'd also hire a bodyguard. I'd also buy a million presents for all my friends and family (and myself!).

Next would be the trip through Central and South America: after I've seen Egyptian tombs and pyramids, then I want to go see the more amazing Mayan and Incan pyramids, you know, the ones so deep into the jungle you need a skilled and experienced guide to not get lost and die. A significant amount of money would be invested in this guide and, once again, a bodyguard (it's getting scary down there) (terrorism sucks!), as well as bug spray. LOTS of bug spray.

The last phase would be Alaska, in the fall so the snow begins but it isn't the dead of winter with no sunlight and happiness. I would want to see glaciers and polar bears and...um...I don't know. What else is in Alaska? All I know is that it's gorgeous there and I would love to go again sometime, in a tourist capacity. I would definitely need to cool off after traipsing through the jungle.

Kim asked:

1. What did you want to be when you were a child?

Well, Kim, I wanted to be a fashion model. Look how well that turned out. As soon as I had a reality check though, I've always wanted to be a scientist, and secretly a singer.

2. What made you fall in love with your husband?

So many things! The previous "serious" relationship I had had went south for a number of reasons, but one of them was my ex's arrogance. He was in love with himself. Scott is nothing like that, which immediately attracted me. He's adorable. He is reliable and completely honest. He's the most selfless person I know, and he would do anything to make me happy. I think the biggest thing was that he made me want to be a better person.

3. What's your favorite book?

I know I should say something like Vanity Fair (which I detested) or Pride and Prejudice (which I do love), you know, something that would make me look well-read and elegant, but I'm going to have to go with the Harry Potter series, the Chronicles of Narnia, and the Lord of the Rings (along with the hobbit). It's a tie.

4. When do you normally go to bed?

I usually get in bed around 8:00 and read or surf the internet or watch videos with Scott until 9:00, then I try to sleep.

5. You get to meet a celebrity--who is it?

Honestly, I wouldn't really want to meet anyone. If it were someone I thought was really cool and talented or attractive I would just be kinda awkward and I wouldn't want to be one of those people who fawns over celebrities. That being said, I wouldn't mind having lunch with Mike Rowe.

Chewy

Sorry the picture is so small, but I had to share it, because my dog totally looks like Chewbacca.
I've been feeling un-bloggy lately, so that's all you get.

Help Please

I'm gonna take a leaf out of Kim's book and ask...what sorts of things do you all want to know about me? What are some things you think I should post about?

I'm a little bit stuck at the moment, but I've made myself a goal: at least 20 posts a month.

Stupid writer's block.

200

Well, this is my 200th post.When I started this blog I was only posting a few things a month, and it was just about things that happened every now and then, and it's come very far from that. I talk about more than just my day-to-day life; I talk about my feelings and my struggles with food, exercise, and my weight. I talk about the things I make (though I haven't made much lately because I'm SO FREAKING ADDICTED to Plants vs. Zombies). I talk about things that scare or worry me. I talk about my family. I bring up a few old memories, of things good and bad. It's just MY space, and I feel more and more that I can do whatever I want here. There are a few things I probably won't talk about, since I'm trying to keep this at a PG or PG-13 level, but for the most part I'm becoming more open.

My favorite part of all this is the friends I've made out there in the internet. I love this little community that we've all worked so hard to build. I feel as if, just maybe, I'm finally contributing to it in a meaningful way. It's also a good way to keep in touch with old friends and family members. I love that Kwiddens reads this, and I wish I could get Mim to read it, but she's so freaking busy...oh well.

I'd like to think that my writing is getting better as well. Maybe. In high school I took AP English and Literature classes, testing out of freshman English and Composition classes in college, so except for the occasional paper here and there in my generals, I haven't written properly since high school. I know this doesn't count as writing properly, like writing research papers and essays, but I think that this is a good exercise in learning to describe my world more accurately, and more colorfully, and that's worth something.

I had journals when I was little, but I stopped writing in them because Kwiddens would read them and then make fun of me for something I had written, and back then I couldn't handle that. It's really a shame because I know there are a lot of things that I wish I had written down back when they were fresh in my mind. I started keeping a journal on my laptop freshman year of college, and I had a blog then as well, but Mim and I had a huge fight over something I had said on my blog (I told the world she was crazy, and it was true, but she hadn't come to terms with it or gotten medication yet so that didn't go over too well), so I threw a hissy fit and deleted it (yay, maturity) (I was 17) (I can't believe how dumb I was when I was 17) (or even 18), and of course I wish I hadn't because that was almost an entire year of my thoughts, just gone. As for the journal I kept on my laptop, an ex-boyfriend hacked into it and read all of it behind my back...that relationship didn't end well. Soon after that my laptop was stolen so it was all gone anyway, and someone, somewhere, knows all my secrets. Awesome.

Anyway, that's a roundabout way of saying that this is something I've done before, but I think now I'm finally doing it right. I do censor myself a little, but it's not because I'm afraid someone or other will stumble across this blog and find out that I hate them anymore. Now, it's because there are people I care about that do read this and I would love for them to continue reading this unoffended.

I really feel now that this is my space. Mine. I can say whatever I want here, and I know that the people that read this either know me personally and love me no matter what (because I'm super awesome) (or something) or they don't know me personally and live far far away and if I say something that they don't want to read they can just stop reading. Everyone wins. I think I've come a long way from where I started...two years ago there's no way in hell I would have told anyone I was bipolar, but I've changed so much.

That's something else I enjoy about blogging. I can go backward in time and see what I wrote months, or even years, ago, and see how things have progressed. I can go back and reminisce about the way things were once upon a time, and that's why I sincerely regret that I stopped journaling and blogging before.

But I'm fixing that, as much as it can be fixed, anyway.

Anyway, I love blogging, and I love my bloggy friends, and that's about it. Now let's see how long it takes me to get to 300.

The Idiot Box

I have been feeling BLAH lately, so even though I have posting material (Buster pictures, Nyah pictures, and of course, July 4th stuff) I don't feel like it, so I will just show you something amusing.

This is the Idiot Box:

This box is on Mim's front porch. One day when they were coming home Em (I think) tripped over it and said "I hate that idiot box!" and forever after it was known as "The Idiot Box".

CORRECTION: Kwiddens has informed me that it was she who named it. Oops.

Dino Confusion

I keep having dreams about dinosaurs.

I've had regular dreams about dinosaurs since I was a little girl.

Anybody know how to interpret dreams? It's always either T-Rexes or Velociraptors.

P.S. Blogger always screws with my formatting.

BLAH And The Kitchen

Wow, I have really been terrible about posting. I'm in a slump. I wake up in the morning and all I can think about is how many times I can get away with hitting snooze! I get home and eat dinner and then I don't even feel like walking up the stairs to get my laptop. It's these winter blues. I have very little exposure to sunlight since I get to work before the sun is up and lately things have been crazy at work so I've been getting home as the sun is getting pretty low in the sky. At least we're headed toward longer days at this point. I just need to beat these blahs and get excited about life again!

Scott has been taking lots and LOTS of pictures of Buster with things on him and making montage videos to put on YouTube. Very fun.

In other news, we used to have a wall in between our kitchen and our living room, and in stage 1 of the kitchen/living room renovation we (meaning mostly Scott) tore it down! We have a lot of pictures and video of this, so expect a post sometime (hopefully soon, if I can get motivated to do ANYTHING AT ALL...) with lots of details.

The next phase of the renovation will be moving the back door. We've planned this all very carefully, with stages, and each stage has all the steps listed, and we have stopping points marked, and money roughly budgeted out, and as we have enough cash to do the next phase, we plan on doing a phase and then saving up until we have the money for the next phase. At some point we will get a Home Depot card, though, because it looks like the cabinets and appliances and flooring are all going to be around $10,000 all together. We'll see.

So that's the update. Time to get some sleep...maybe tonight I won't wake up a million times. Maybe.

To Blog Or Not To Blog

So when I started this blog I wasn't sure what my intent was. I thought maybe I would write about my feelings. Maybe I would write prose. Maybe I would rant. Maybe this, maybe that.

So far it has been things that happen, general complaints, funny stories, interesting things I found on the internet...well, you've read it.

But there are some things that I would like to talk about, but am afraid to because I might offend someone, or because I'm afraid someone might judge me and stop talking to me because I'm such a heathen (it's happened before, you know).

Here are some examples:

My in-laws

...what if they stumbled across this blog and got all offended and hated me forever and the world ended? My mother-in-law is particularly emotional and I would actually feel bad if I made her cry.

How I'm crazy and such

...people view mental illness differently. Some people understand that it's a disease, caused by a chemical imbalance, just like cancer or diabetes, but some other people think...well, they think you're just crazy. Which is true. But it's because of the chemicals, and they don't understand that. It's hard to explain. It's hard to talk about openly.

Why I'm not Mormon anymore

...when Scott decided to leave the church some of his friends completely alienated him and he's sometimes lonely because of it. I would like to think my Mormon friends aren't like this, but you really never know.

Why I decided to not have children

...there are very valid reasons. Including not wanting to die. And DUDE, children are sticky. And LOUD.

There are many others, I'm sure, but these are just a few I've been mulling over lately.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip

I was doing so well in September, and then I slacked a little on the blogging in October. But, with everything as crazy as it is, I really don't feel too bad about it.

So I was totally pumped to keep knitting my ten rows a day. I came home, worked out (3rd time this week, I think I don't suck), showered, and began knitting. Slowly. I got several rows done and then I noticed that on one lace panel somehow I had 9 stitches instead of 7...and I tried to undo it and fix it but I couldn't figure out how far down the mistake was...so I ended up ripping out 15 rows. Fortunately I was able to re-knit those 15 rows before my fingers went numb, but I still don't think I will make it. Not a big deal, really.

In other news, It's the Freaking Weekend. DUDE. This week was long and painful. Work, my moods, home, family, everything has been out of balance lately and it's throwing me off big time.

It will all be over and settled by December.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it really doesn't seem that far off. Thankfully.