Honestly, There Were More Marshmallows Than Fruit

I didn't have an opportunity to do a Thanksgiving post...oh, who am I kidding, I had many MANY opportunities, but almost my entire weekend was spent curled up on the couch with my favorite fuzzy purple blankie working on the blanket for Mim. I finished it ages ago, and it was too small, so I had asked Mim to expand the pattern for me, but she's so freaking busy that it didn't get done until I showed her what I had so far and she suggested I make it again and connect the two...but I'm going for broke and making four, and to make it fun I'm rotating what colors go where for each one. I made a spreadsheet. I love spreadsheets. We should get a room.

Anyway.

Lazy me.

At least my lazy times are still productive. I get blankets and socks and such out of it, so it's not a total waste of time.

So Thanksgiving. Usually Scott and I stay overnight a day or two at Mim's house, but Scott has allergies so in order to do that he has to be so totally stoned on all sorts of meds that it's not as fun. This year we decided to just head down to Mim's Thanksgiving morning and spend all day there. The holiday was spent cooking, eating, playing games, watching movies (do you know how adorable "Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs" is??), and just enjoying each other's company. No pressure, no schedules.

We ended up going to the store twice that morning because we kept forgetting things. One of them was butter, and there is just no way to do Thanksgiving without butter. Fortunately, I didn't have to make that trip...people in stores on holidays are generally freaking nuts.

We had our usual: turkey, cranberry sauce, marshmallow fruit salad, pie, more pie, mashed potatoes, butter corn, more marshmallow fruit salad...yum. Nothing weird. Everything was perfect. I do have a confession, though: I didn't eat any turkey. I wanted to have room for other, more important things, such as second portions of marshmallow fruit salad.

So that was about it. It was relaxing and awesome. I got to play with the baby and hug my brother and sisters. What more could I want?

So now for the cliche: a list of what I'm thankful for this year.

• Family. Duh.
• Especially Scott. Another duh.
• The miracle of modern medicine, which enables me to experience emotions I never could before, while keeping the totally crappy emotions in check.
• Egg nog. You knew it was coming.
• My fabulous job. I make more than I need doing something I love. How many people can honestly say that?
• My new kitchen, paid for with the money I make at my awesome job.
• The ability to not eat french fries for more than six months this past year. I think I should go back to not eating them...
• And on that note, I've been able to keep most of the weight I lost off. I am, however, mad at myself for gaining any of it back at all, but I'm continually working on making better food choices. Except when I'm not.
• Being completely totally done with my Christmas shopping so I didn't even have to leave my house on Black Freaking Friday, the day when nice, normal people turn into demons.

Life is good, you know?

No, Thank YOU

So one of the blogs I visit daily, PCL, did a post a few days ago for Thanksgiving and gave me a "Thank You For Blogging" award. AWESOME. It was super sweet of her to pick me, and the rules say I should pass the award on to four people, so I think I will do that. Four days late. What can I say? I'm enjoying my vacation weekend!

So I really do enjoy the blogosphere. That's what it's called, right? Anyway. It's given me the opportunity to make friends, explore new worlds, and improve my own writing. So here's a quick Thank You to a few of my favorite bloggers.

First up is, of course, PCL. I must return the favor! She writes about everything from music she gets stuck in her head to things that happen at home with The Mister and the cats and Rocky the Dog, and every times she writes anything she ties it in to some vast cosmic meaning and it makes me happy every weekday.

Next is a blog I recently discovered when poking around for new reading material: The Hindsight Letters. It's just fabulous. One of the regular features is a look back at things that were fashionable when the author was a teenager (and some of those were en vogue when I was a teen, as well) and HOO BOY I had totally forgotten most of those...probably for good reason! She, and her guests, write letters to their teenage selves, and there's no way to describe how awesome it is so go and click the link and you'll be hooked, I promise.

Although she doesn't post as often as I'd like (hint, hint), Heartsick and Headstrong is another awesome one I always read. How can you not embrace life and carpe diem and all that once you've had a heart attack? Her story is inspirational and she had the most adorable posts about her cat.

Fourth, my dear Miss Magnolia. She gets down and dirty with the nitty gritty of feelings, relationships, the past, trials (literally and figuratively...she's a lawyer)...just all sorts of things that make up the human experience. She has a way with words and she'll make you think about your own feelings and experiences.

An honorable mention, only because he's too swamped with traffic to check out my tiny little blog space, is Single Dad Laughing. He has a few really good posts, "power posts" he calls them, that everyone should check out sometime. They really make you think. Also, his kid is adorable. Also, he is obsessed with M&Ms.

I really love blogging. I love my bloggy friendships. I love having a way to share what's important to me with family and friends.

So SAD, But My Cabinets Are Gorgeous

There are just a few completely unrelated things bouncing around in my head today that I'd like to share.

Let me tell you something about me: daylight savings time totally effs me up. As soon as we made the time change and it was suddenly dark outside at freaking SIX...my body went OH NO NO SUNLIGHT LET'S CRY FOREVER. Seriously. I've got a few personal things on my mind that are just weighing on me terribly, and when I went to the gym and instead of feeling skinny and empowered and beautiful like I usually do, I went home and when I took my clothes off to take a shower and I saw myself in the mirror and I just...lost it.

I feel like I've been busting my ass trying to lose weight and it just doesn't happen. I know I could definitely do better. I could go to the gym more often (although I've been doing three times a week or more consistently) (because I'm a total ROCK STAR). And I know I could be eating better. Confession: I've been eating french fries lately. I don't think this is a problem in and of itself, because I'm not eating them often at all. But, all things considered, I could be doing better to eat healthier. So even though I'm a lot better off that I was a few years ago, I still feel like a total failure. After doing the hCG diet and losing so much weight so quickly, it is KILLING me to lose one pound a week (or some weeks not lose any) (ok, most weeks not lose any). I want a quick fix. I want to wake up one day and just magically be a size 8. Or a 10. Whatever. I just want to feel better about myself than I do now, and I feel like that's always going to be connected to the number on the scale. I'm just...stuck.

I'm sure I'll feel better later, but for now that's what's going on in my nutty head.

So anyway, back to yesterday after my shower. I got dressed and called Mim with only the intent of complaining about the size of my derriere, but what really happened was everything that I had been putting to the back of my mind for the last few weeks just came flooding out and before I knew it I was bawling and just freaking out about everything at once and my poor mother, who is a saint, talked me down. We talked about some really important stuff and I just have to say that she's the best friend a girl could ever have. She lets me say whatever I need to and she never gets offended or judgemental or anything like that, just like I can talk to Kwiddens and have her be totally awesome. I have some really awesome people in my life, I really do.

So, here's the plan:
Keep exercising.
Keep taking happy pills.
Bust out my SAD light. It's this amazing nifty light that mimics sunlight, and you shine it on yourself in the morning for a little while every day and it helps with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) (it's awesome that it's called that, because oh look, it makes you sad).

Blargh. I hate being crazy. Moving on.

Scott has been working very very hard, coding like no nerd has coded before, for a few months, building a new system at work. He recently finished it, and everyone in the entire company, and all the customers, and all the members of the board have had nothing but praise for the system, and I am SO proud of him. He works so hard, and I'm so glad he's getting some recognition for that. He's smart AND handy! Also, he gets more PTO than I do and he has to use it up by the end of the year, so he has every Friday for the rest of the year off, plus extra days around Christmas and Thanksgiving. Jerk (he totally deserves it though).

Last weekend we installed our new cabinets, and they look AMAZING! Amazing as in, I walk up the stairs and go WHOA IS THAT REALLY MY KITCHEN?? I've been intending to post about it, on here and on Facebook, but the SAD has got me feeling unmotivated to do ANYTHING except work on Mim's blanket. And watch Battlestar Galactica. Again. Really, the idea of sitting down and blogging has seemed totally boring to me (yet, here I am...blogging). So I will post about it, I promise, I just don't know when.

The countertop dude is coming over tomorrow while Scott is at home (not at work...jerk) to take measurements, and then the following Friday we'll have countertops installed and we will have a FULLY FUNCTIONAL KITCHEN. Like, appliances plugged in and water turned on and everything. You have no idea how excited I am about this.

I think once the countertops are in I'm going to go through all my dishes and such and decide what to keep and what to donate and organize everything exactly where I want it, and put the silverware in the SILVERWARE DRAWER...I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but we didn't have a freaking silverware drawer before but now we do and it's the most awesomely epic thing EVER.

Then I plan on busting out the crock pot and learning to cook a bit. I'll actually have space to do it!

Now look. It's 7:30 and I'm so sleepy...stupid Daylight Savings Time. I wonder how long it's going to take me to adjust this time...and then I'll get to do it again in the spring. Oh, joy.

Pour Some Sugar On Me

(Gotta love Def Leppard. Other contenders were "Sugar Sugar" by The Archies, "Lollipop" by The Chordettes, and "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow)

I had a dream last night that I went to Maverik in the morning before work and was choosing something to grab for breakfast. I swear the dream was like an hour long, and the entire time I was walking around the store, picking up something, then changing my mind and putting it back, choosing something else, etc. I ended up with a huge soda (not diet) and a ton of candy and donuts, and when I got to the cash register I looked at it all and said, "Scott would be ashamed of me!" and I put it all back. Then I woke up.

It was awesome.

I've been having an awful time with cravings lately. I think my body is like, "It's cold, therefore I need more fat to keep warm, therefore I must eat CANDY."

I've been a lot better about eating Halloween candy before Halloween this year than last year. A LOT. Still, I've had a bit here and there. I feel a little bit bad, since I've not been able to get to the gym much lately (but I went yesterday and my ankle didn't hurt much at all!), but I think I'll just have a few pieces over the next few days and then on Halloween I'll go ahead and indulge, and then Monday I'll bring in any leftover candy to work and make my coworkers eat it.

I was thinking about why I'm craving bad foods so much, since it's usually connected to how I'm feeling emotionally, and I find that figuring out what's making me sad/mad/whatever helps me not eat crap, even if it doesn't make the cravings go away. I'm 99% positive it has everything to do with not getting enough exercise over the last month and not having happy endorphins all over the place. I'm constantly amazed at the HUGE impact exercise has on my depression. I mean, the meds keep me at a pretty good baseline, but getting a good workout in at least three or four times a week really pushes my moods up into HAPPY HAPPY LAND (it's a really nice place, in case you were wondering).

Halloween is where it all starts. From there it just goes downhill. Halloween (candy), then Thanksgiving (pie), then Christmas (traditional Christmas Eve cheeseburgers, then traditional sugary cereal on Christmas, and all the candy), then New Year's (just another excuse to have yummies), and by the time it's January I'm usually heavier. BUT NOT THIS YEAR. I'm going to be reasonable. Treats, yes, but smaller portions, less often, and, above all, I'm going to keep exercising!

Now excuse me while I go eat one of the Halloween cookies my boss brought in today.

Don't worry. I'll burn it off later at the gym.

Love/Hate

I hate how the holidays go in stores. You know, Halloween stuff starts showing up in September (too early) and then Christmas stuff starts showing up right after Halloween (too early) (and what the heck happened to Thanksgiving?). It's ridiculous. It's like every store is doing everything they can to squeeze every penny possible out of each holiday. Maybe that's why they skip Thanksgiving. They probably can't make as much money on pumpkin pie as they can on costumes and presents. Just a theory.

Plus the Christmas music that never ends. But I won't go there.

HOWEVER.

There are some things I can definitely get behind.

It's the seasonal FOODS, dude.

I believe I already mentioned my everlasting love for the Pomegranate 7Up that only comes out for the holidays, but did I mention how I want to have egg nog's babies? And I don't even like babies (except babies that belong to people I know)(when they're being quiet) so that is really saying something! Then there's the white fudge covered Oreos. Every year Scott and I stock up and buy many many packages so we don't have to limit the absolutely heavenly taste to the holiday season.

I am totally making myself hungry. FOCUS, Anna, you're trying to eat more VEGETABLES.

Thanksgiving

We went to Scott's family's house for Thanksgiving dinner. I like traditional Thanksgiving food.
This was NOT traditional.

I almost threw up.

But, we went down to Mim's, and on Friday we had turkey and mashed potatoes and fruit salad and cranberry sauce and rolls, etc. All well done. As in, not nasty and definitely cooked all the way through.

And that's enough of that.

Buster is getting used to our routine here. We're making progress training him and he's just a really sweet dog.

At work I have free time while things are running and I can't just leave the instrument because every time I do, it decides to quit on me. So, no leaving. So, I brought crochet: I found some cashmere blend, blush colored thread on eBay (I LOVE eBay). It looks more white here, but it's a pretty shade of pink, I promise. Here it is so far:
I want to lose weight. I bought Slim-Fast at the store today and so we'll see if that helps. I'm tired of not fitting into pretty clothes. I hate that they don't make pretty bras my size (unless you go to Lane Bryant, in which case you might just have to sell a kidney to afford one). Mostly, I hate that I hate looking in the mirror. I'm really pretty when I'm skinny...I just haven't been skinny in a long time, so I'm having a really hard time with the self-esteem thing right about now. I ate salad for dinner.

New Things!

We got several new things! I got a zune! A pink one! See?

We got a dog! His name is Buster, and he's a Briard mix. See?

I gave Mim her sweater and took some good pictures of the details and the sweater on her. See?

Thanksgiving! We're spending it with Scott's family, and then when we're done there we're going to go down to Mim's and spend the rest of the weekend there. Hopefully the allergies won't be too bad and Scott will be able to stay. We're planning on having a Stargate marathon! Mim was nice enough to switch her Thanksgiving dinner from Thursday to Friday so we can have two Thanksgiving dinners! Hooray for Turkey :)

Cashmere

I want cashmere. Yarn, that is. Fingering weight...I want to make a sweater. The sweater I made Mim turned out so well that I want to make myself one. I'll post pics of Mim's later.
The problem is, cashmere yarn is so ridiculously expensive, and it comes in 50 g balls, so it would take like, 20 to make the darn thing, and cashmere can cost anywhere from $5 to $15 per skein. So, at least, $100 to make it. Dumb. I've been stalking all the yarn stores online to see if something comes on sale. I found this one website, mypollywogs.com, that sells yarn on spools, which is perfect because there are fewer ends to tie and weave in. Anyway, I went to buy something from them for a great price, but they were out of stock. So, I e-mailed them back and asked about another product, but I guess the lady that works there had a death in the family so she said she would get back to me next week or something, so hopefully the other stuff I want will be in stock and I'll be able to make a sweater!

This past weekend I went down to see my family. Friday night Mim and I went shopping. We found a comforter set with sheets and pillowcases, the works. I bought it for her for an early Christmas present, but when we got it home and tried it on the bed it didn't fit, so we had to return it the next day. Too bad...it was really pretty. Anyway, after we went shopping we went to Red Lobster for dinner. Mim had never been there, and she really liked it, and I tried lobster for the first time, and I liked it, but I still like crab better. Saturday I woke up early because my body is on a schedule now (boo, I can't sleep in if I try) and took a bath in Mim's giant tub and it was so relaxing...I've been a little stressed lately with things being broken at work. After that, I was able to fall back asleep for a few hours.

Saturday the plan had been for me and Em and Jorg to go to lunch together, and then we would come home and Mim and I would run errands. But Em and Jorg wanted to come with us, so we all went to Provo together and we went to Pizza Factory for lunch. Bad idea. The one by Mim's house is great, the one by my house is great, but this one was awful! Bad food, bad service. Never going there again. Anyway, then we went to run our errands and Em and Jorg complained the whole time...grrr. They had asked to come along. Anyway. We went to Kohl's to return that comforter set, and they wouldn't put it back on my card. They said either store credit or cash, and I said I didn't want store credit, and the salesgirl got this look on her face like, I don't want to be here and I don't want to help you. Anyway.

Then we went to a specialty yarn shop in Provo, looking for yarn for aforementioned sweater. These old ladies were running it. I looked around, and then I asked if they had any cone yarn and they argued with me about why I wanted cone yarn and I explained that I hate weaving in ends and then she tried to tell me she could teach me to tie off ends and weave them in, like I wouldn't know. She saw me, 22, and thought well she's not 80 years old so she must not know anything about anything. Gr. I'm not stupid, people, and I can crochet better than 99 percent of crocheters out there. So there.

I stayed at Mim's until Sunday evening, and I was so tired when I got home that I went to bed almost right away.

Monday I went in to work and my first e-mail of the day was from Richard: I'm coming to fix your instrument today! Woohoo! Now here's the funny thing: it took him all of five minutes to fix it. I was so mad. It isn't something I could have fixed or I would have felt so horrible. It turns out that the tension was off between the contact cones and between the two halves of the magnet. He said what probably happened was the last time it was calibrated, the contact cones were on wrong and so when they were on right, like now, the instrument thought it was wrong.

Either way, it's fixed! So I'm back on schedule, back into my rhythm. It makes me feel so much better. I'm a creature of habit, and when things get different, I get stressed, even if there's nothing making me work harder, even if nothing's hard. I just feel all out of sync I guess. So I'm feeling better, more relaxed. I got a good night's sleep last night. That might be because of the benadryl though. Being at Mim's is great, but she has so many animals, so for a few days after I get home from there I have to take antihistamines and decongestants or I'm miserable. So, I took a half dose of benadryl last night and it helped a lot.

There were only two samples today, so I thought I was going to be out by 12:30 at the latest, but then another lab called with the results from all our retests, and everything was way high and didn't look right, so I had to re-prep everything since last Tuesday and run them, so I was there until 1:30. Still not bad.

I came home, bought lunch and some new fish, and took a nap after I picked Scott up. Scott then went to Naomi's to fix her computer, and even though he couldn't fix it, she slipped him a hundred dollars. I know she loves to give her loved ones money, but I feel so bad...I mean, she's getting old and probably needs it more than we do. But she's a sweetheart, and we love her.

For Thanksgiving, we're going to Scott's family's house, and then when we're done there we're going to spend the weekend at Mim's.