Reverb 10: Defining Moment

My goal was to answer all the prompts, not necessarily to post every day or else finish them all in December. SO, on we go.

December 29 Defining Moment


Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

Well.

Joining a gym and doing home renovations made me feel three things: first, that I was a grownup (you'd think I'd feel that way by now, being married and graduated and having a job and owning a house and all, but sometimes I just feel like I'm still a kid) and second, that I was moving toward something, and third, that I had some semblance of control over my life.

These are very good feelings. These are empowering feelings. Especially the one where I feel in control. I can't complain.

Reverb 10: Achieve

December 28 Achieve


What's the thing you most want to achieve next year?  How do you imagine you'll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

I want to get down to my ideal weight. That's all I really want to achieve. I mean, yes, I want to get more done on the house and I definitely want to knit more beautiful things and I want to keep blogging; there are definitely other things that I want to achieve. BUT, this is the biggest goal I have for this year. It's within reach. I know I can get there. But once I get there...

...I have to maintain it. I HAVE to. I know I've been sort of obsessing about it lately, but I will go insane and do crazy things if I don't. It's going to be hard. I'm just going to have to say no to so many tasty things. But it will be worth it in the end.

Now, when I make it down to my ideal weight, I'm going to feel hope. Hope that I can keep working hard and keep the weight off. Hope that I'll continue to get regular exercise. Hope that I'll eventually be able to break this stupid cycle of weight loss (and loving myself) and weight gain (and hating myself) and be happy and whole.

Ten things I can do or think today (or in the next few weeks, maybe?) that can help me experience a feeling of hope today (or in the next few weeks, maybe?):

1. Thought: I have eaten nothing but good, healthy food since the day after Christmas. I know that's only three days so far, but I'm thinking positive here.
2. Action: I will continue to eat nothing but good, healthy food. I know I can't portion, so I'm just not going to tempt myself. It's a little easier since Scott is dieting, too.
3. Thought: I feel great when I exercise.
4. Action: I will get to the gym at least three times a week consistently, and five days a week if I can.
5. Thought: I am stronger than my cravings.
6. Action: I will stop and think when I crave something. I will try to figure out what emotion I'm experiencing, and go from there.
7. Thought: I am beautiful regardless of my shape or size.
8. Action: I will ignore the mirror on bad days, and prance around in front of it on good days.
9. Thought: Although weight matters, it's more about how healthy I feel.
10. Action: I will continue to weigh myself, because I don't think I can NOT weigh myself, but I will gauge my progress more by how much energy I have and how I feel about myself. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to lose weight. It just means that if I get down to 140 pounds (the upper "healthy" weight limit for my height) and I feel healthy, I won't obsess over losing more.

I'm betting putting these thoughts into action is going to be easier said than done. But what kind of a journey would life be if I got it all easily? I'll just have to chant to myself "Whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger" over and over (and then be mad that I can't eat candy).

And check it out. I'm all caught up! Until tomorrow.

Reverb 10: Soul Food

December 26 Soul Food


What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

The person who asked this question had no idea what she was in for.

It doesn't matter what I ate. I ate a lot of things. The size of my bottom reflects that. What matters is how food "touched my soul".

To some, that might be a good thing. I understand a lot of people have positive associations between their food and home life with family, or friends, or whatever. It's incredibly common for a flavor to bring memories flooding to the surface, and that's fine for most people.

I, however, am not most people.

Food only "touches my soul" in the sense that I use it to soothe emotions I should deal with in other ways. I want to STOP this. I need to change the way I view food. Mim told me a story once about how she used to love Moon Pies. She used to go get them with her family, and they were dirt poor so it was a very special (and rare) treat. Over the years she got Moon Pies all the time, and I'm sure they brought back awesome memories of good times with her family as a kid. But as she has been working on her eating and such, she's tried Moon Pies, and other foods she associates with good times, and realized that she doesn't even like the taste. And once she told me that story, I started thinking about my food memories. It turns out I don't even like pumpkin pie (if Mim knew that she'd swear I was adopted or something), but when we had Thanksgiving together as a family, and Dad was actually being pleasant and we had a good conversation, and I had pumpkin pie, I just felt like we were a real family and that felt really good. Years later, surprise surprise, I tried some pumpkin pie and realized that it just isn't that good to me.

I have a lot of foods that I only eat because of the memories. I don't even necessarily do it consciously. When I'm upset (or bored, or depressed, or lonely, or tired, or...) and all I want to do is stuff my face, I go back to those foods.

What I need to do is change the way I think about food. What is food to me now? Comfort. An excuse to gather together. Traditions. There are so many things food is to me that have nothing to do with keeping me alive. I'm not saying it's bad for someone to get together and have dinner with family or friends. I'm not saying that food traditions are bad, either. In fact, I think they can be wonderful. Because of several stupid little things, Christmas Eve cheeseburgers didn't happen this year. That's something we do every year, and I was really disappointed. And that's ok.

But I need to change the way I think, overall, about food. I need food to survive. Can that food be delicious? Absolutely. I really hope it is! But it needs to be healthy and limited. I don't need more than one serving. If I'm upset (or bored, or depressed, or...you know) I need to talk it out. If I'm angry, I've found in the past that going and getting some exercise helps me calm down (and I tend to get a very intense workout, too!). Think of how healthy my heart would be if instead of grabbing candy or baked goods (my kryptonite) when I need comfort, I would go get some exercise. My hips would thank me, too. The day I found out Dad was getting married, I was upset so I went to the gym and did six miles, and it felt amazing and empowering, and I had time to think all my angry thoughts and get it all out of my system (notice I called him Dad. He got me a very nice present for Christmas, and I've had time to cool down, so my heart's a bit softer today) (progress!).

It's a long journey, and it sucks most of the time, but I'll get there eventually.

Reverb 10: Travel

December 22 Travel


How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

Well, seeing as I'm a total homebody and I've spent all my extra cash on my kitchen, I didn't really travel this year. I went to Lava Hot Springs with Mim, and we had pie, but I think that was about it.

This coming year I would like to take a vacation, if we can spare the cash and time. I think the problem with when Scott and I went to Vegas in 2009 was that we were trying hard not to spend money, so we didn't do a lot of things we could have done, had we budgeted better.

Scott and I are going to work very hard to eat right and exercise (I need to find some kind of exercise Scott won't loathe) and get into shape, and we'll save tons of money not eating out, so maybe we can actually plan something for later this year. Maybe.

Of course, this coming year we'll be paying for flooring and maybe we'll start in the basement. Expensiveness.

Reverb 10: Beyond Avoidance

December 20 Beyond Avoidance

What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy, or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

There are a few things. One is painting the rest of my living room and kitchen. I'm not scared about it or anything (because that would just be weird); I just keep putting it off. I know it'll get done, probably early this coming year, since we need to finish paint before we put down the new floor. I just keep putting it off because I'm having so much fun making things with sticks and string...

The other thing is exercise. I've been deterred from exercising this past month just because I've been eating terribly and I feel all blah and my feet still hurt...I know, it's excuses, but I'm jumping back in as soon as Christmas is over. My goal is to go to the gym every day (and if I set that goal, I'll skip sometimes but still go at least three times a week, and that's acceptable to me).

2011 needs to be the year of exercise for me. It needs to be the year I solidify good eating and exercise habits. I want to start running, but I'm going to need to get some more weight off before I try, because my knees are going to take the most damage. I also need to go back to spinning, because it's a great workout and doesn't hurt my joints as much. Once I've lost a bit more weight and gotten my lungs a bit more fit, I want to try Zumba again. It was fun, but I just couldn't keep up and, once again, I think the extra weight was putting too much pressure on my joints.

Reverb 10: Healing

December 19 Healing


What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

What a loaded question.

I've been healing for years now, from all sorts of things. It's always a long process. It's always a difficult process. It may never end, but I'll keep trying.

I think the biggest single thing that healed me (of what, I don't know) this past year was blogging. It's been a little surprising to me how much I've learned about myself while I'm writing. It's good to think about what's going on in my head. It's weird in there, for sure, but there are some good things floating around in there as well.

I think having a place to write whatever I want, or whatever I need, sometimes, is so healthy for me. I mean, yes, a lot of the time my content is just about daily life, or pictures of Buster or The Best Baby Ever, but sometimes when something's really eating at me I can write a bit, and I don't write much, but for every word I write there are five more in my head that I didn't share with you all, and putting some of it down helps me sort out the rest. Trust me, you're glad I have a filter (I'm freaking nuts, remember?).

So this is gradual. It's slow. And I'm ok with that.

So how would I like to be healed in 2011? Well, the biggest thing I'm constantly worrying about right now is my crappy emotional eating problems. I don't know if I'll ever be able to heal the emotional roots of this problem, but hopefully this coming year I can at least break the cycle and find another way to express those emotions. Who knows, maybe I'll change from an emotional eater to an emotional marathon runner. I'd have great legs, for sure...

Reverb 10: 5 Minutes

December 15 5 Minutes

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

Well, first of all, I'm ditching the time constraint. I checked to see what the prompt was for yesterday and I've been thinking about it for about a day, and I'm not going to take only five minutes to write. So there.

I want to remember:

• The times I was shown extra appreciation at work. This past year, with our new instruments, our lab has exponentially increased the number of chemical tests we do. It's amazing. We're working hard to keep that going and pull more business in, so it's nice to receive a Thank You.
• The times I felt amazing at the gym. I'm going to go more this next year (I totally slacked off in December...but planning on picking it up again after Christmas) and I kinda want to try actually running. I actually ran track when I was in school, and I kinda sucked at it, but I do remember enjoying it so much that it didn't matter. We'll see if my knees can actually handle it...
• That one time Kwiddens had a baby. AMAZING. It's a life-changing experience, and I got to go through it without the pesky pain.
• Holding said baby in the few days after she was born. SO SNUGGLY.
• The feelings of satisfaction every time Scott and I finished a project on the house.
• My visit with Li. We did a ton of fun things and I always love when she stays with us.
• Sunday mornings. We always sleep in, and then when we wake up we get Buster up on our bed and play and snuggle with him and just lay in bed, all lazy and warm, and talk all about everything.
• Time with my family. Holidays, birthdays, just-hanging-out-days, etc. It's the best.

And that's probably not everything. If I tried I could probably think of more but I'm too lazy right now.

Reverb 10: Appreciate

December 14 Appreciate


What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

There's JUST SO MUCH. There are so many amazing things I could choose from.

I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been very introspective lately (Reverb 10, anyone?), so I've been thinking about all the wonderful things in my life.

Also, I've been thinking a lot about food and dieting and such.

So I think for my one thing I will choose learning to eat right and maintain my weight.

Now I know, you're thinking, "Um, Anna, you kinda gained some weight back".

Well, yeah...but it wasn't until after I started slacking off. I stopped logging all my food and exercise on FatSecret. I let go of my No French Fries Rule. For months there I was at a stable weight, not going up or down. I'm convinced that if I can just get down to where I want to stay, I now have the know-how to stay there. And, honestly, I'm bordering on an eating disorder obsession with my body lately. I NEED to get thin. I need a therapist...

I've suffered from eating disorders most of my life. Seeing someone else enjoy a regular portion of a food, any food, without any associated emotion is enigmatic to me. I've always had something else going on in my mind when I eat. For a few months I felt like I had broken that horrible cycle. I felt like I was actually in control. And, not surprisingly, I felt beautiful.

I've spent this whole year studying about diet and exercise. I have all the facts. I just need to start using them.

So on December 26, Scott and I are going on a diet. We're going to encourage each other, eat meals together, and get busy doing stuff on the house so we're not tempted to sit around and eat. We are a good-looking couple, and when we're done you'll actually be able to tell!

Reverb 10: Body Integration

December 12 Body Integration


This year, when did you feel most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I felt like this when I started exercising regularly. I feel like this every time. I spend the hour listening to my body, making sure everything is working the way it should. I feel strong and beautiful. I'm always listening to music, and more often than not my steps are in time with the beat.

I also love stretching while I'm in the shower. Stretching under hot running water = nice, relaxed muscles = BLISS.

So SAD, But My Cabinets Are Gorgeous

There are just a few completely unrelated things bouncing around in my head today that I'd like to share.

Let me tell you something about me: daylight savings time totally effs me up. As soon as we made the time change and it was suddenly dark outside at freaking SIX...my body went OH NO NO SUNLIGHT LET'S CRY FOREVER. Seriously. I've got a few personal things on my mind that are just weighing on me terribly, and when I went to the gym and instead of feeling skinny and empowered and beautiful like I usually do, I went home and when I took my clothes off to take a shower and I saw myself in the mirror and I just...lost it.

I feel like I've been busting my ass trying to lose weight and it just doesn't happen. I know I could definitely do better. I could go to the gym more often (although I've been doing three times a week or more consistently) (because I'm a total ROCK STAR). And I know I could be eating better. Confession: I've been eating french fries lately. I don't think this is a problem in and of itself, because I'm not eating them often at all. But, all things considered, I could be doing better to eat healthier. So even though I'm a lot better off that I was a few years ago, I still feel like a total failure. After doing the hCG diet and losing so much weight so quickly, it is KILLING me to lose one pound a week (or some weeks not lose any) (ok, most weeks not lose any). I want a quick fix. I want to wake up one day and just magically be a size 8. Or a 10. Whatever. I just want to feel better about myself than I do now, and I feel like that's always going to be connected to the number on the scale. I'm just...stuck.

I'm sure I'll feel better later, but for now that's what's going on in my nutty head.

So anyway, back to yesterday after my shower. I got dressed and called Mim with only the intent of complaining about the size of my derriere, but what really happened was everything that I had been putting to the back of my mind for the last few weeks just came flooding out and before I knew it I was bawling and just freaking out about everything at once and my poor mother, who is a saint, talked me down. We talked about some really important stuff and I just have to say that she's the best friend a girl could ever have. She lets me say whatever I need to and she never gets offended or judgemental or anything like that, just like I can talk to Kwiddens and have her be totally awesome. I have some really awesome people in my life, I really do.

So, here's the plan:
Keep exercising.
Keep taking happy pills.
Bust out my SAD light. It's this amazing nifty light that mimics sunlight, and you shine it on yourself in the morning for a little while every day and it helps with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) (it's awesome that it's called that, because oh look, it makes you sad).

Blargh. I hate being crazy. Moving on.

Scott has been working very very hard, coding like no nerd has coded before, for a few months, building a new system at work. He recently finished it, and everyone in the entire company, and all the customers, and all the members of the board have had nothing but praise for the system, and I am SO proud of him. He works so hard, and I'm so glad he's getting some recognition for that. He's smart AND handy! Also, he gets more PTO than I do and he has to use it up by the end of the year, so he has every Friday for the rest of the year off, plus extra days around Christmas and Thanksgiving. Jerk (he totally deserves it though).

Last weekend we installed our new cabinets, and they look AMAZING! Amazing as in, I walk up the stairs and go WHOA IS THAT REALLY MY KITCHEN?? I've been intending to post about it, on here and on Facebook, but the SAD has got me feeling unmotivated to do ANYTHING except work on Mim's blanket. And watch Battlestar Galactica. Again. Really, the idea of sitting down and blogging has seemed totally boring to me (yet, here I am...blogging). So I will post about it, I promise, I just don't know when.

The countertop dude is coming over tomorrow while Scott is at home (not at work...jerk) to take measurements, and then the following Friday we'll have countertops installed and we will have a FULLY FUNCTIONAL KITCHEN. Like, appliances plugged in and water turned on and everything. You have no idea how excited I am about this.

I think once the countertops are in I'm going to go through all my dishes and such and decide what to keep and what to donate and organize everything exactly where I want it, and put the silverware in the SILVERWARE DRAWER...I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but we didn't have a freaking silverware drawer before but now we do and it's the most awesomely epic thing EVER.

Then I plan on busting out the crock pot and learning to cook a bit. I'll actually have space to do it!

Now look. It's 7:30 and I'm so sleepy...stupid Daylight Savings Time. I wonder how long it's going to take me to adjust this time...and then I'll get to do it again in the spring. Oh, joy.

International Kwiddens Day

Dear Kwiddens,

It's your birthday! You're 22! I can't believe it! Well, I can, but it's still cool!

I hereby designate today "International Kwiddens Day". Everyone can celebrate your existence!

Kwiddens, you are very special to me (not the "stop eating paste" special) and I am lucky to have you in my life.

Remember that time when you threw a dead spider at me, but I didn't know it was dead and I freaked out and punched you and we both got in trouble?

Remember when we drove to school and there was a really old, leathery looking woman in a parka, and we couldn't stop laughing all the way to school because we thought she was an Eskimo?

Remember when the missionaries came over for dinner and you burst out laughing in the middle of dinner and it made me start laughing and we couldn't stop so we got sent to our room?

Remember when we used to run around the backyard with a jump rope, pretending you were a horse and I was a cowgirl, because a jump rope was all we had?

Remember when we used to ride our bikes to Falls Park every day and have a picnic for lunch and climb around on the rocks and pretend we were mountain goats?

I have so many awesome memories with you, and we keep making more.

You are beautiful, inside and out. You are smart, kind, witty, generous, and a wonderful mother with a beautiful baby (and how could she not be beautiful, since she's made of you?).

You understand what's going on in my head and I'm never embarrassed to tell you whatever is on my mind. You're full of good advice and free with your hugs, and you're one of my closest confidantes.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be treated like a queen. You deserve ice cream, because I said so.

I'll see you tomorrow when the whole family meets for your birthday dinner. We'll eat rolls and honey butter and the calories won't matter because we're celebrating your life (plus I'll go to the gym for a few hours to work it off...).

Keep getting older. It's kinda fun. Plus we all like having you around.

Love you Kwiddens!

-Your Sister, Nanners

Pour Some Sugar On Me

(Gotta love Def Leppard. Other contenders were "Sugar Sugar" by The Archies, "Lollipop" by The Chordettes, and "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow)

I had a dream last night that I went to Maverik in the morning before work and was choosing something to grab for breakfast. I swear the dream was like an hour long, and the entire time I was walking around the store, picking up something, then changing my mind and putting it back, choosing something else, etc. I ended up with a huge soda (not diet) and a ton of candy and donuts, and when I got to the cash register I looked at it all and said, "Scott would be ashamed of me!" and I put it all back. Then I woke up.

It was awesome.

I've been having an awful time with cravings lately. I think my body is like, "It's cold, therefore I need more fat to keep warm, therefore I must eat CANDY."

I've been a lot better about eating Halloween candy before Halloween this year than last year. A LOT. Still, I've had a bit here and there. I feel a little bit bad, since I've not been able to get to the gym much lately (but I went yesterday and my ankle didn't hurt much at all!), but I think I'll just have a few pieces over the next few days and then on Halloween I'll go ahead and indulge, and then Monday I'll bring in any leftover candy to work and make my coworkers eat it.

I was thinking about why I'm craving bad foods so much, since it's usually connected to how I'm feeling emotionally, and I find that figuring out what's making me sad/mad/whatever helps me not eat crap, even if it doesn't make the cravings go away. I'm 99% positive it has everything to do with not getting enough exercise over the last month and not having happy endorphins all over the place. I'm constantly amazed at the HUGE impact exercise has on my depression. I mean, the meds keep me at a pretty good baseline, but getting a good workout in at least three or four times a week really pushes my moods up into HAPPY HAPPY LAND (it's a really nice place, in case you were wondering).

Halloween is where it all starts. From there it just goes downhill. Halloween (candy), then Thanksgiving (pie), then Christmas (traditional Christmas Eve cheeseburgers, then traditional sugary cereal on Christmas, and all the candy), then New Year's (just another excuse to have yummies), and by the time it's January I'm usually heavier. BUT NOT THIS YEAR. I'm going to be reasonable. Treats, yes, but smaller portions, less often, and, above all, I'm going to keep exercising!

Now excuse me while I go eat one of the Halloween cookies my boss brought in today.

Don't worry. I'll burn it off later at the gym.

Chocolates, hCG, and Fog Machines, Oh My!

My favorite kind of chocolates are Queen Anne cherry cordials. Every year for Christmas someone in my family gets me a box, with the "e" scribbled out and replaced with an "a", which makes me the queen. I eat all of them in one day and it's delicious and amazing, but after I eat a whole box of them I'm sick of them and I don't want any more until next year.

I hate when people argue on Facebook. I got caught in the middle of an argument yesterday and it was mostly my fault...oops. This one involved someone ragging on the hCG diet, saying it doesn't work in the long run and it'll just make you unhealthy, etc. Well, let me tell you, I've kept 30 pounds off, my blood pressure and cholesterol went down, and now I can keep up with Scott while we're walking through a store. I can see how the weight would come back if you didn't change your eating and exercise habits, but I did and it's amazing. The end.

I ordered an industrial strength fog machine from Best Buy, and I chose (and paid for) the faster shipping. the website said it would be here by...YESTERDAY. They were supposed to send me an e-mail and charge my credit card when they shipped it, and I got neither an e-mail nor a charge. So last night I called customer service and tried to find out what was going on. I feel sorry for customer service people, because all they do all day is handle people's problems, and most of them aren't as polite as I am. Anyway. Even though it said nothing about it on the webpage, this item was special order through Best Buy from another company. The other company hadn't told Best Buy if they'd gotten the order or anything, so they were still in the dark. I'm mad. If, on the website, it says I will get my item by a specific day if I pay this much for shipping, I better get it then. As it stands, we may not get it at all before Halloween, which would totally suck.

THIS JUST IN:

I'm talking to Scott on messenger right now and he said Jon just told him a large package just arrived from Best Buy. I forgive them.

Work has been really slow lately. There are way fewer samples coming in from outside labs, so it's just our own every day, and it's not enough. I find myself killing time so I can get enough hours.

Me: Afternoon is the worst part of the day for me because everything is all done except I just have to wait for the machines to finish. And wait. And wait.
Kwiddens: Oh darn, you get paid to sit.
Me: I know, but I don't like waiting.
Kwiddens: Silly.

HOLY HELL I just got hit by a craving for Chinese food. I've had really intense cravings lately, and I don't know why.

The women at my new crochet group all do a different kind of crochet called Tunisian. It's almost a hybrid of knitting and crochet. I'm going to attempt to teach myself before we meet tonight.

Antibiotics Are Useless

So I joined a gym, right?

Right.

I was going all the time and feeling awesome for about two weeks. Then, everything just kinda...well, stopped.

First, Li came to visit. I did go to the gym (and brought her with me) on a Saturday morning, but the other several days I just wanted to hang with my best friend and get some well-needed rest.

As soon as she was gone I was planning on going back. Unfortunately, I got sick. I had some kind of cold or maybe a mild flu. I was tired and dizzy and stuffy and generally miserable, so exercising was just out of the question.

After I got better I started going back, until my ankle exploded. Fun times. The doctor told me to stay off of it for two to three weeks, so I did two weeks (I was itching to get back onto that treadmill) and took it a bit easier for about a week.

THEN.

Maybe this is TMI, but THEN I developed a raging UTI. Have you ever had one of those? Did it make you want to walk on the treadmill? Or walk at all? Nope.

So I went back to the doctor and got antibiotics and went on my merry way. At this point, we had been spending a ton of time working on the kitchen, getting it ready for cabinets, so there just wasn't much time to go work out, even when my symptoms had subsided.

Unfortunately, that relief was short-lived. Ugh. My symptoms came BACK, like BAM, so suddenly...awesome. So I went BACK to the doctor and they tested me again and apparently Macrobid does absolutely nothing (at least in me, I'm a medical mystery) and it had gotten worse, even though the symptoms had gone way for a while. The doctor prescribed a different antibiotic, in a larger dose for a longer duration, and I went on my merry way.

Cipro has a few warnings. One is to avoid eating dairy and taking the meds at the same time (which wasn't a problem, really) and the other is NOT TO EXERCISE. Especially if you have tendonitis in your Achilles tendon OH LOOK THAT'S ME. Because apparently Cipro makes it worse and you could actually end up badly damaging your tendons. Super. It's also been making me extremely nauseated and bloaty (TMI again, I know) so that doesn't make me want to exercise, anyway. I totally threw up at work. Gross.

I just took my last dose! Yay!

So tomorrow...it's back to the gym. And I'm going to get skinny if it kills me.

Potions Class Would ROCK

So, it's no secret that I'm not much of a cook. I can make basic things, like pasta and sandwiches and almost anything pre-packaged that you just have to microwave, or throw in the oven, or throw in a skillet and simmer over medium-high heat for 7-9 minutes, or until cooked thoroughly (I make Bird's Eye Garlic Chicken enough to have it memorized, oh yes). I have, however, messed up these sorts of things. And I can't for the life of me boil a freaking egg.

You'd think that because cooking is following recipes and chemistry is following recipes (sometimes) that I would be totally awesomely awesome at cooking, but for whatever reason, I'm not (although I'm convinced that in Harry Potter's world, I would be AMAZING with Potions).

So here, I give you some of the reasons I don't cook.

Enjoy.

1. I don't enjoy doing dishes. Something about food residue sitting on dishes, getting gummy in the soapy water...blergh. It gets slimy on my fingers. Shoot me now.

2. The logical thing to do would be to use the dishwasher, right? Well, Utah has hard water. The hardest water I've ever encountered. And the dishwasher is really really good at coating all of our dishes with a crust of minerals. Yum. I mean, they're still clean. We eat off of them. It's just...well, we don't need to take extra mineral supplements is all I'm saying. After the kitchen cabinets and countertops are done, we're going to invest in a water softener. Expect a post about how happy that makes me.

3. I have plenty of time. I go to work for 8 hours, the gym for an hour, add in an hour for travel time and showering and such, and 8-9 hours for sleep, and VOILA! I have 5-6 hours each weekday for NOTHING. And even more on weekends! However, I just can't see spending much time making food in the crappy half-kitchen while there's so much YARN to be dealt with (and my new complete BSG series to watch...). So spending ten minutes making sandwiches? Absolutely.

4. Half-kitchen. HALF-KITCHEN. There's almost no counter space. All of our dishes are crammed in and stacked as tight as they will go into our little baby cabinets (they're going to be gone soon, WOO). All it takes is like one dirty bowl and spoon and then I'm out of counter space and there's nowhere to work any more and it's really frustrating, even when I'm just making sandwiches! Our new kitchen layout adds like eight more feet of countertops! Joy!

5. Since there are only two of us (well, three for now, if you count Jon), we don't need to make such large portions as recipes call for. If I did cook, there would always be tons of leftovers. WAIT. Then I might not have to cook the next day. Ok, maybe this isn't such a bad thing... But when I bake things, the baked things get eaten. Quickly. And in large quantities. And then my hips get bigger. I don't need that.

6. Lastly, my Scott is happy to cook, so why should I bother? Ha, just kidding Scottie!

This Post Is So Boring I Couldn't Think Of A Title

This morning I tried to redeem a Free Mountain Dew cap that I won from my last one, but Maverik doesn't redeem them, so I had to buy one instead. Fail. I have no idea where I can redeem it.

Last night I joined a crochet group run by a lady in my town in her home. I had been on Ravelry for a few weeks trying to get something together and she found me and  invited me to come to her group, so I did. It was pretty fun! There were only four people, but I got to show off a bit, and they were all working on Tunisian crochet (which is basically a hybrid of crocheting and knitting), which I think I might like to learn. I have instructions for it in my Harmony Guides, but I've never actually tried it. I think I really need to finish some of my current projects first, though. I have a baby blanket (for nobody in particular - just thought it might be wise to have a spare, just in case someone gets babied) that's almost finished. In fact, I think it's big enough now and I could be done any time I want, and then I just have to put an edging on it.

Mercury has been giving me issues this week. They're not major, but if it happens again I'll need someone to come out and take a look at it. For now she's running just fine, so I'll just cross my fingers.

I'm still working back up to where I was at the gym. It's slow going, and I hate it, but there's nothing I can do to speed up the process, since I still get pain. It's less pain, though, so at least I'm making progress.

We're inching toward being able to paint in the kitchen.

And that's all I can think of today. I'm getting boring.

Kitchen, Gym, Gym, Kitchen

This past weekend we started getting the kitchen ready for cabinet installation. BIG JOB! There's so much that needs to be totally finished. This past weekend we got a large section of water-damaged sub floor replaced, then got the half-wall that will be behind the stove built. We filled in the old back door with insulation and drywall and got the first layer of mud on. It was quite a bit for one weekend! Don't worry, I lots of pictures of it all. I just need to get them onto the blog... We still need to do a few more layers of mud (with sanding in between), primer, drywall and mud and sand around the new back door, prime all the walls for painting, and pull up all the old linoleum in the kitchen. THEN I can paint. THEN we can put the cabinets in. So all this needs to be done rather quickly (the cabinets are being delivered on November 3).

I finally got back to the gym yesterday. The doctor had told me to stay off of my ankle for two to three weeks, so I decided two was good. I have to take it easy for a while, though. Yesterday I got up to the same speed I was doing before I got hurt but I didn't add any incline. I felt like I only got half a workout, but my ankle was hurting so I wasn't willing to push it any farther. At least I burned off the triple chocolate cookie I ate yesterday.

I've been at the exact same weight for months but I still feel like I'm getting fatter. I think it's a depression thing, since I haven't been exercising for a while and that made the happy endorphins go away. As soon as I get back into the groove and go to the gym every day again, I'm sure I'll feel fine.

Later today:

I was able to do a little bit more on the treadmill today. A little. I should just be grateful I'm allowed back on it. I do love the exercise (and I never thought I would say that!)!

Scott just went to Home Depot to get more supplies for the kitchen, and while he was there he talked to the guys at the pro desk. When we built the deck, Home Depot had us order WAY more Trex than we needed, and that stuff is EXPENSIVE, so we were kinda mad. It was special order, so we thought we were just stuck with it. It turns out, for a restocking fee, we could sell it all back and get $660 credited onto our Home Depot card! That means we just got $660 closer to affording some counter tops! Woo!

Check Out All The Pix!

I finally got off my butt and transferred a ton of pictures to baby pink lappie, so HERE WE GO!

A few weeks ago Scott and I finally got around to buying a new bed. RC Willey was having an amazing sale, with a couple hundred dollars off plus a free headboard, a free sheet set, free pillows, and a free little HDTV:

Scott's been using it as a computer monitor (surprise, surprise). It actually died on him the other day, but when he brought it back in to the store they were happy to replace it so no harm done.

 So here's our beautiful, soft, comfy, BIG, king-sized bed:

Buster has been getting really good at holding treats on his nose until we say "ok".

The gorgeous Em has gone platinum blonde! She looks amazing:

She and I have similar coloring, so that makes me wonder if I would look good blonde...hmmm...

When we went to Maddox with Li I took a picture of the rolls, because YUM:

I bought a new purse, and it totally makes me think of Indiana Jones. I love it and it smells so good:

I took a picture of the swelling on my ankle last week:

Fortunately, it's getting much, much better. I think I might be back in the gym by tomorrow!

When Scott gets sad (say, when we spend $4600...) he hugs Buster, even though Buster doesn't like being hugged:

We found a new mask for Scott to wear under his cloak when he passes out candy this Halloween:

Of course, we had to put it on Buster, who was not amused:

And that's it!

No Pain, No Gain, Right?

Sometime on Wednesday my left ankle started hurting. It wasn't too bad; mostly just a little ache that went away when I sat down. It felt like maybe something had popped out of joint, or I had bent it too far, or something small like that.

Thursday while I was at work it started getting worse. I shifted all my weight onto my right foot and limped a bit, and when I got home I wrapped it up in an Ace bandage and elevated it for the rest of the night. As long as I wasn't standing on it, it felt fine.

Then I woke up this morning, and from the very first step I knew I would have to see a doctor. It had changed from a dull ache to a STABBING! PAIN! every time I stepped on it. I planned on getting to work, getting everything done as quickly as I could, then going into InstaCare to get it looked at. Work wasn't so bad. I was pretty busy, so I was standing and walking all day, but I could rest my weight on my right foot and the left wouldn't hurt so much (unfortunately, this meant my right foot started to ache...), and I limped around until everything was all set up to run by itself. I asked my boss to report my results when they were finished, and he's super nice so he said he would, and I headed over to see the doctor.

Fortunately, the doctor on call was a sports medicine doctor that I had seen before. I had thought initially that maybe it was a sprain, and then later when the pain was sharper I thought it might be a stress fracture (I had had one like six years ago and it felt remarkably similar), but it turns out I have Bursitis. Basically, there's a little sac in between the Achilles tendon and the bones in the heel of the foot, and mine got inflamed. The doctor thinks it's because I started exercising too aggressively, with the incline on the treadmill too high. Oops.  I suppose over enthusiasm can be a bad thing...

So, I'm supposed to ice it, do stretches, take naproxen, and stay off it for a few days, then be more conservative with my treadmilling. Sad. Really pumping up the incline was what was really increasing my heart rate and making me burn more calories. I'll have to work on going faster to make up for it (or maybe I'll be bad and work the incline back in, gradually so as not to injure myself again...)!

Vacationy Things

So these past few weeks have been quite busy! On Wednesday the 8th I picked Li up at the airport. I left for work the next morning and didn't see her before I left. She and Scott hung out all day on Thursday (Scott was able to get more days off than I did) and when I got home we talked and made dinner and watched videos on YouTube. It was just really relaxing and fun. Friday she was picked up by a friend, and she spent the next several days with friends in Provo, and then with her sister in Plymouth.

The following Friday, the 17th, I had taken the day off work so I got up in the morning, went to the gym (and got a great workout in!) and then went to pick Li up in Plymouth. Scott suggested we go to Maddox for lunch, so he came along with me. Lunch was SO TASTY. We almost never go there, since it's such a long drive, but it was on the way home from Li's sister's house. I had forgotten how good their rolls were! I ate WAY too much, but we only go there every couple of years so it's totally ok, right?

When we all got home from that Li and I hunkered down on the couch with munchies and watched movies for the rest of the night. Saturday morning I brought Li along with me to the gym, then we showered and headed down to Salt Lake for the State Fair. We went first thing in the morning, so there weren't too many people, and we didn't have to wait in line for anything until we were about to leave. It was pretty hot, but there were shady spots where we could sit down so it wasn't too bad. We had put on sunscreen, but both of us forgot our chests, so now I have this weird sunburn with my purse strap across it.

I was really excited about fair food. A fair is like the one chance I get all year to eat cotton candy and funnel cake (although we didn't end up getting either of those; we settled on fresh mini-donuts with sugar, a slushie, gyros (the best I've ever had, I think), and fudge). We rode rides, too, which was very fun! I forgot how much fun it is to act like a kid. I also forgot how nauseating some of those rides were...my stomach could handle more than Li's, though, so when Li wanted a rest I would go ride one she didn't want to ride (she doesn't like up and down ones where she feels like she's falling). After we had been there about four hours I was definitely done. I was tired, hot, sick, and thirsty. We headed on home and got frozen custard from Nielsen's on the way, and when we got home it was JAMMIE TIME! and we sacked out on the couch for the rest of the night, watching more movies and some Bones.

Sunday morning Li wanted to go to church, and I didn't want her to have to go alone, so I went along. We went to the building that's only a few blocks from us. Since I'm a heathen, I had no idea what time church was supposed to start, but everywhere I've lived there has been a meeting at 9:00, so I figured that was a safe assumption. Well, there was a meeting at 9:00, but it was a Tongan ward...oops. We figured we were already there, so we stayed. The service was half in English, half in Tongan, which, it turns out, is a very pretty, melodic sort of language. There was a translator, so we weren't totally in the dark, but it felt a little awkward all the same.

We came home, changed back into pajamas, and set up a LAN. For the rest of the day the three of us played Warcraft 3 (nerdy!), since it's sort of a tradition that we play every time Li visits.

Monday we slept in, then watched more Bones while we waited for it to be time for our SPA APPOINTMENTS, OH YES. We went to a spa I had never been to before, but will definitely visit again, because for only $65 we got our hands, feet, backs, arms, and faces massaged and exfoliated and steamed...we were soft like buttah. We smelled good, too! After that we went to Zupas for lunch, where we had the most awesome salads and sandwiches, and we even split a brownie, but it wasn't as tasty as it looked. When we got home we decided that we should watch Pride And Prejudice (the BBC version), so we started that, and we were only half watching it while we talked about boys and such. Around 7:00 the three of us decided we were hungry, so we went to Olive Garden for dinner, and then when we got home we finished our movie and then went to bed.

Tuesday morning I drove Li to the airport, after which I went to Nyah's three-month doctor appointment with Kwiddens and Isaac. Poor Nyah had to get shots, and she was NOT happy about it. We all went to lunch, and then at that point I was really starting to feel sick, so I headed home and napped.

So that was my mini-vacation with Li. It was really fun, and so nice to see her, and now the next time I see her will probably be next summer, when I'll fly out to Boston for a change.

Other, semi-related or un-related things:

Taking three days off work is apparently a really really bad idea, since I came back to utter chaos and a giant pile of samples. I'm not even close to caught up. It doesn't help that we had people cleaning in the lab today, so we didn't have use of the hood until around noon (usually I start working in there around 9:00...so you can see how far behind I was). I'm sure I'll get a lot more done tomorrow, and I'll probably be completely caught up.

I've been slowly getting sick over the past week or so. Whatever it was, it hit Scott and Jon much harder than it hit me, thank goodness. I think it's just a mild flu, but I really lucked out, since all I have is a very sore throat, a stuffy/runny nose, and body aches. I can deal with that and still go to work.

Buster desperately needs a bath, but I'm too lazy, so I'm thinking about just spending the $35 to have it professionally done.

I found a really good deal on a heart rate monitor watch. It has a calorie counter thing in it, too. I'm really excited to try it out, but I'm going to have to wait until I don't feel like I got hit by a bus to go back to the gym.

I finally got a new purse last week while Li and I were shopping. It's from New York and Company, and it was on clearance for only $10. I win. It looks like a slightly more fashionable Indiana Jones bag. It smells lovely. I love the smell of new leather.

I think now is a good time to go collapse into a hot bath, then drag myself to bed early. I hope I can beat this bug, and soon. I want my voice back.