Almost 20 Questions

Magnolia tagged me, and I needed something to write, so here you go!

1) If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?
Since we're not planning on having kids, Buster is a member of our family. He's our baby. And we spoil him accordingly. Lately I've been giving him meat trimmings while I'm cooking (sort of) and now every time I go into the kitchen he follows me and looks at me expectantly. I also give him too many treats without making him do tricks. He doesn't want to eat his regular food as much anymore, so maybe this is a problem. He's not starving, so I think I'm good.

2) If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
There are a lot of things I would like to see happen, and most of them I actually wouldn't want to happen because they would change fundamental things in my life that I'm extremely happy about. For example, I would love to own my own yarn/craft store, but that would mean giving up my job, which I love, and giving up chemistry, which I really love.


3) What is the one thing most hated by you?
"easy. willful ignorance." I copy this. If you don't know about something, that's fine, because you can learn something and rectify the situation. But there are so many people who are content to be ignorant, simply striving for mediocrity, and that, my friends, is the real meaning of stupidity. The worst part is, most willfully ignorant people despise those who would learn and grow. Almost my entire extended family on Mim's side are like this. It makes family reunions so interesting.

4) What would you do with a billion dollars?
Pay off my house and Mim's house, buy Kwiddens a house, set up trust funds for Em and Jorg and Nyah, buy everyone cars, start my own business (and one for Scott, too), etc. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to use up even a million of it before I ran out of ideas.


5) What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?
Scott can usually pull me out of a bad mood, but if not, there's always yarn. Unless I'm having a panicky sort of bad mood, in which case I take Klonopin, then use the yarn.


6) Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
How about both? It sucks to be at one end of only one of those. On one, you feel hopeless that the other person will ever love you, and on the other one you feel like you're being creepy-stalked.


7) What is your bedtime routine?
Take medicine and brush my teeth, change into pajamas, turn on my electric blanket and climb into bed with my lappie, surf the internet while Scott surfs the internet on his side of the bed on his lappie, or maybe read a bit of a book, then I start trying to fall asleep while Scott drinks his chocolate milk and eats his crackers.


8) If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?
Hot Or Not. No joke. We were both on there just for funsies and we said hi and started talking online here and there (this was my sophomore year of college) and then we started talking like every day in November of my Junior year, and then he came out to Utah for a funeral (he had been living in Colorado) and while he was there we met and had a great time together, so when he got back to Colorado he packed up and moved back here (he was originally from Bountiful) and that was that.


9) If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?
I don't like watching people come up with things. It takes time. It's like watching paint dry. I'd rather see the end result.


10) What kinds of books do you read?
Knitting books, my favorites over and over (Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, Leven Thumps, I know I'm one of those dorks), and sometimes I make it to the library and check out a classic, like something by Jane Austen. I used to read a lot more, but I find that I enjoy knitting more lately.


11) How would you see yourself in ten years' time?
Probably roughly where I am now, but older and richer.


12) What's your fear?
SPIDERS. I hate them. They're gross and creepy and scary. I'm also afraid of losing people, and losing my sanity.

13) Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?
Space isn't cool; all that's out there (within reach) is space junk. BORING. I love ice cream too much.

14) Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Married and poor wasn't too bad.


15) What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
Hit snooze. And again. And again. Then I let Buster outside.


16) If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner, what would it be?
I wish he recognized his brilliance and potential. He's down on himself a lot of the time and I wish he had the same amount of faith in himself that I have in him: a TON.

17) If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?
Don't wanna.


18) Have you ever been betrayed by a family member? What did you do to get through it and go on with life? What made it better? Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Well, I've touched on this in the past. I have been betrayed. I'm still in the middle of it with someone. Getting through it involves getting together with people that understand the need to trash talk and trash talking the crap out of this person. I don't really mean it (well...most of it) but it helps to rant. I can never forget, but in other cases I've been able to forgive. The thing is, I'm going to have a hard time forgiving if the person would never even admit he's done anything wrong, let alone apologize for it.

19) If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?
My first instinct was ice cream, but then Magnolia said salad and it hit me: there are so many more varieties of salad! And I wouldn't feel like crap all the time! I had some salad at a great salad bar the other night with Kwiddens, and it always hits the spot.

On The Edge Of A Cliff

A while ago, Halloween weekend, in fact, Scott, Jon, Jorg and I went shooting. We drove up Farmington canyon until the poor little Focus got stuck in the snow, and found a perfect spot to set up targets.

I don't think Jorg had ever been shooting before, so Scott gave him a lesson in gun safety and then we all shot some rounds from each gun we brought, using old bottles as targets.

I was stupid and didn't account for the fact that if you drive up the elevation increases and the temperature decreases...so I didn't have a coat, but just a sweater. I got cold and went to sit in the nice, warm car after a while, and soon Jorg joined me. Even though it was cold, it was still fun.

On the way back down when we were finished I got a decent shot of the view over the valley. Utah is generally a pretty place, even when it's brown.

And, of course, because driving down narrow, slippery switchbacks all the way down the mountain wasn't scary enough, the boys all got out of the car and stood on the edge of a cliff and gave me an aneurysm. What you can't see in the picture is the dead cars at the bottom of the cliff. Yep.

But, nobody died, so I really can't complain.

Potions Class Would ROCK

So, it's no secret that I'm not much of a cook. I can make basic things, like pasta and sandwiches and almost anything pre-packaged that you just have to microwave, or throw in the oven, or throw in a skillet and simmer over medium-high heat for 7-9 minutes, or until cooked thoroughly (I make Bird's Eye Garlic Chicken enough to have it memorized, oh yes). I have, however, messed up these sorts of things. And I can't for the life of me boil a freaking egg.

You'd think that because cooking is following recipes and chemistry is following recipes (sometimes) that I would be totally awesomely awesome at cooking, but for whatever reason, I'm not (although I'm convinced that in Harry Potter's world, I would be AMAZING with Potions).

So here, I give you some of the reasons I don't cook.

Enjoy.

1. I don't enjoy doing dishes. Something about food residue sitting on dishes, getting gummy in the soapy water...blergh. It gets slimy on my fingers. Shoot me now.

2. The logical thing to do would be to use the dishwasher, right? Well, Utah has hard water. The hardest water I've ever encountered. And the dishwasher is really really good at coating all of our dishes with a crust of minerals. Yum. I mean, they're still clean. We eat off of them. It's just...well, we don't need to take extra mineral supplements is all I'm saying. After the kitchen cabinets and countertops are done, we're going to invest in a water softener. Expect a post about how happy that makes me.

3. I have plenty of time. I go to work for 8 hours, the gym for an hour, add in an hour for travel time and showering and such, and 8-9 hours for sleep, and VOILA! I have 5-6 hours each weekday for NOTHING. And even more on weekends! However, I just can't see spending much time making food in the crappy half-kitchen while there's so much YARN to be dealt with (and my new complete BSG series to watch...). So spending ten minutes making sandwiches? Absolutely.

4. Half-kitchen. HALF-KITCHEN. There's almost no counter space. All of our dishes are crammed in and stacked as tight as they will go into our little baby cabinets (they're going to be gone soon, WOO). All it takes is like one dirty bowl and spoon and then I'm out of counter space and there's nowhere to work any more and it's really frustrating, even when I'm just making sandwiches! Our new kitchen layout adds like eight more feet of countertops! Joy!

5. Since there are only two of us (well, three for now, if you count Jon), we don't need to make such large portions as recipes call for. If I did cook, there would always be tons of leftovers. WAIT. Then I might not have to cook the next day. Ok, maybe this isn't such a bad thing... But when I bake things, the baked things get eaten. Quickly. And in large quantities. And then my hips get bigger. I don't need that.

6. Lastly, my Scott is happy to cook, so why should I bother? Ha, just kidding Scottie!

The Universe Wins Again

Singing has always been something I enjoyed immensely. I remember when I was very very small I had all the musical movies I watched memorized (The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, etc.) and I would sit around and play with toys and sing to myself. There even came a time when I wouldn't stop singing music from The Nightmare Before Christmas and it was driving Mim so crazy that she told me I wasn't allowed to sing that music anymore.

Mim has played the piano since she was very young, and when I was old enough she started teaching me to play. I hated it. HATED. I just always felt like there were better uses for my time, and why should I learn this because it will never help me in the real world or anything-basically any little kid's thoughts when they're made to practice something over and over again.

Eventually I quit (Mim wasn't happy about that) and now that I'm grown I regret quitting terribly. I can still read music, albeit very slowly, and I still have a few sonatinas memorized, but other than that I really can't play anymore. But music didn't disappear from my life.

In 7th grade I took my first choir class and from the very beginning I was hooked. I continued to take choir until my senior year in high school, when I didn't participate. I joined the Jazz choir junior year (as an alto, strangely enough)(I usually sing high soprano)(apparently if I sing low I sound sultry and jazzish) and senior year I did a song for the homecoming week talent show ("Winter" by Tori Amos).

In my high school there were basically three levels of choir classes: open choir, Warrior Chorus, and Concert Choir. The last two required an audition, but the first was open to anyone who wished to enroll. So freshman and sophomore years I was in open choir, and junior year I auditioned to be in Warrior Chorus and made it in, and when senior year rolled around I auditioned for Concert Choir. I didn't make it in. I should have. In junior year we had a Christmas concert and I had gotten a solo, beating out all the Concert Choir sopranos who auditioned. When it came time for the concert, I (somehow) got hand, foot, and mouth disease, and was forced to stay home and give up my solo to someone else. Universe: 1, Anna: 0. Either way, it was clear to everyone that I should have made it into Concert Choir. I think the director must have had something against me (and I don't want you to think I'm just saying that to make myself look better or anything, it's just truly what happened).

When they posted the lists of who got in to which choir, and my name wasn't on there, many many people were outraged. When senior year started I went to the director (who was new; the old one got fired for BIG TIME extortion) and asked to re-audition and he refused, so I decided that the drama wasn't worth it, and I didn't want to settle for being in Warrior Chorus again, so I quit. That was it. I'd had it. So senior year I didn't sing in a choir at all. Universe: 2, Anna: 0.

Then I went to college, and immediately signed up to audition for the many choirs there. And you know what? Auditions were right before the semester started and Utah has a very high elevation compared to South Dakota, and guess who got altitude sickness and couldn't sing? Yep. Universe: 3, Anna: 0.

So, I did the next best thing: I signed up for a small group vocal music class, and I loved it. It was nice because I got a lot of personal instruction from the grad student who was teaching the class (because the class was so small) and I improved my classical technique, determined to try again next year. I then spent the following summer taking private voice lessons back in Sioux Falls. I was ready to audition, and when I got to campus in the fall I went to sign up for auditions. BUT, every single choir was scheduled to meet for practice at the exact times I was in a chemistry (and therefore necessary) class, so even if I did get into a choir I wouldn't be able to come to practice unless I gave up chemistry. Universe: 4, Anna: 0.

I love singing. I always have. And I tried for eight years to make it work. But it just isn't meant to be. I got the message, Universe. You win. You freaking win.

I hope you're happy.

Emotions...So Complicated

When I was growing up and my life was a living hell and I hadn't found the proper medication (or the proper psychotherapist, for that matter) I had to come up with some way to cope with all the crap and the only way I could was to shut out as much emotion as possible and just try to feel numb. For the most part, it worked. I studied a lot, which ended up being a very good thing, and kept me hidden away in my room most of the time I was at home, and I had friends, but I think I didn't know how much they meant to me until we were thousands of miles apart.

Now that I'm properly medicated I have the ability to feel emotions like "normal" people do. Antidepressants (and mood stabilizers, and antipsychotics, oh my) aren't "happy pills"; they simply give me the ability to feel happy when it is appropriate. While this is a beautiful, beautiful thing, these magical little pills also give me the ability to feel immensely sad at times, but about things that I should feel sad about.

So lately I've been a little bored, mostly just because I've been working fewer hours and am less motivated to work on the blanket (which is coming along beautifully, by the way, I'm just feeling quite blah about everything) and so I have more time to think and hang out on Facebook.

And lately what I've been noticing is that I feel immensely sad when I think about the friends I had back in South Dakota and how much I miss them, and even more sad when I think about how I'm stuck here in Utah and will probably never see most of them again.

I had one friend, Jacee, who was in the theater department with me and we had so much fun all the time having sleepovers, renting movies, going on bike rides, etc. My boyfriend and I went to the prom with her and her boyfriend. We were together the night of the senior class party and all the times we went to that nasty old pancake house on 10th Street.

Another friend I had was Cali, who was and always will be the most beautiful person I have ever known. She introduced me to so much amazing music, and she always let me be myself when I was with her. We had so many inside jokes, and we knew all about each other's pasts and heartaches. We even had a notebook (that I found the other day...forgot I still had it) in which we wrote our "Complaint of the Day" every day in lit class.

There was Shelby, who has always been an inspiration to me. She lives every day to its fullest..."No Day But Today" was plastered on the top of her mortarboard the day we graduated high school. She has always been a good person to talk to, to bounce ideas off of, to cry or complain to, because she loves listening and truly cares.

I had a lot of friends like this in college as well, and it's always the same story...we grow up and move on and try to keep in touch but life gets busy and it's never the same again.

I am so incredibly sad about this.

And the heartbreaking part is, I don't have very many people like this in my life any more. And I don't know where to find them, now that I'm out of school, and that makes me feel kinda...pathetic. Like, I've turned into this lonely person and now that I can actually feel emotions and have lasting relationships all the relationships I had before are all but gone.

Isn't life awesome?

Utah Weirdos

A blog friend suggested I post about some of the interesting/weird things Utahns do. The problem with this is that most of these things are more of a Utah Mormon culture thing. So I'll list a few things, and try to keep it kind, and you'll think it's hilarious!

Instead of saying "the eff word" they say Flip! or Fetch! or Frick!, which I find hilarious, because we all know what they're actually thinking...

As everyone knows, A LOT of Utahns are Mormon, and they're not supposed to drink coffee, but there are so many people I know who drink like ten diet cokes a day for the caffeine (the rules aren't specifically for caffeine, just coffee and tea, so some people interpret it as no caffeine and some don't).

Weird names. Not even kidding. Kwiddens says she knew a girl named Bronwyn.

Nobody here knows how to cook. Meat gets overcooked to the point of being like leather. Pasta gets mushy. Vegetables are wilted. Foods that should not be combined are...like cauliflower and mayonnaise...and Jello with vegetables in it...Utah definitely has a Jello thing. It's like its own food group.

BAD DRIVING. I'm sure this is true everywhere you go, but it really does seem particularly bad here. My biggest pet peeve about Utah drivers is that they run red lights like crazy on left turns. After the light has turned red, usually three or four cars go ahead and turn even though they weren't even in the intersection when it turned red. Stoplights here have an extra few seconds between green lights in each direction, and I can only assume that this is why.

Also, for a state that gets snow every year, nobody here knows how to drive in snow. Pathetic.

The higher up on the mountain you are, the higher your social status. People assume Mim is incredibly wealthy because her house is up on the mountain, and she's just as broke as everyone else in the world. The funniest thing is, up on the mountain is right along the fault line...really the stupidest place to build a house, if we have an earthquake.

Remember in the 60's when women would back-comb and hairspray sections in the back of their hair so it was poofy in the back and on top? Yeah. They do that here. It's ugly as hell, too.

There are other things, but they're more negative and more related to Mormons specifically, and the last thing I want to do is Mormon-bash, so I'll end it here.

Happy Valley is a weird, weird place.

A Bedtime Story (About A Criminal Delinquent)

Chapter One


Once upon a time, a lovely girl named Anna had a headlight go out and got pulled over for it the next morning on her way to work (Friday, October 2). The cop was really nice about it and just gave her a warning, but when he ran her license it came up as DENIED due to medical reasons. He did have to give her a ticket for that, and she had to go into court to resolve the issue.

Aside:
In Utah (and maybe other places, I don't know) when you apply for a driver license, you have to tell them if you have any medical conditions. If you do, you have to have your doc fill out a form and send it in and then they approve your license and you get to drive around for a year before you have to get the form filled out again. They even send the form to you in the mail every year so you don't have to come in and get it.


Another aside:
When I moved I called the DMV and asked them what I needed to do to change my address with them. They said I didn't need to change it in the system and that I should just put a sticker on the back of it with my new address on it and that would be good enough.


Yet another:
When we moved we forwarded our mail.


And the last:
It turns out they don't forward government mail.


And on with the story:
It turns out that when our heroine Anna moved last year a sequence of events occurred that prevented her from receiving her doctor's form in the mail. Consequently, she completely forgot about it.
When she was pulled over she realized her blunder, and hastened to the DMV the very next business day to rectify the situation (after fixing her headlight, of course). She obtained a new form and called her doctor. Unfortunately, her doctor was completely booked UNTIL NOVEMBER! Poor Anna almost started crying until her noble knight Scott pointed out that she could find a new doctor. Genius!
So Anna found a doctor in Ogden who was taking new patients, but they needed a huge packet of paperwork before they would make her an appointment, so they e-mailed her the packet, she printed it out, and then drove the long and winding road they call I-15 up to Ogden. Fortunately, they were able to squeeze her in the very next day at 1:00.
Now, this entire time, Anna didn't want to continue driving on a denied license, so Knight Scott kindly chauffeured her around wherever she wished to go. He therefore picked her up from work the next day and escorted her to her new doctor, who turned out to be very nice and understanding. She signed Anna's form and our dear Scott whisked her away to the DMV to reinstate her license. Finally, she was free to drive again! Ironically, when she reinstated her license, noble Scott was informed that his license had been denied since 2007 because of his asthma. The same sort of things happened (this time with Anna driving) and Scott, too, was able to drive once more.


Chapter Two


Driving on a denied license, whatever the reason, was frowned upon in Anna's society and she was forced to take time off work to schedule a court appearance to defend her honor. The appointed day came, and, full of trepidation, she found her way to the Weber County Justice Court, where parking was scarce and she had to park several blocks away and walk, which was a terrible ordeal since she had worn "nice" shoes.
Anna found herself in a courtroom full of other delinquents, many of which had the hardened look of seasoned criminals. This only increased her nervous disposition.
As she waited her turn, many many others walked up to the Podium of Doom, in front of the fairest judge in the land. They were there for many reasons, including destruction of property, driving without insurance, speeding, not paying previous court fines, and many others. Fortunately, this was mildly entertaining.
After some time, Anna's name was called, and she was brought before the judge to plead her case. She pled guilty, and was given an opportunity to explain herself. She told her tale, about how she never received the form in the mail because she moved and didn't know they don't forward government mail, and about how she took care of it the very next day. The judge pronounced her efforts good, and, unlike the others before her, he declared that Anna did not have to pay a fine and please don't do it again. She thanked him profusely, and went back to work, where she spilled acid all over the nice shirt she wore to court and completely ruined it.


The end.

Pretty Storm

I love storms. I am the type of person who, when I used to live in Oklahoma and South Dakota (tornadoes a'plenty), would stand outside until the last possible second so I could see the funnel cloud up close and personal. In fact, one time my Mim and I were driving in a huge storm and we got caught in the middle of a funnel in the van. It was the COOLEST experience EVER.

This is no tornado...the storms in Utah are pathetic compared, but at least it's something.

There's a bit of lightning, and soon the rain will start falling, and I can sleep to that. I will HAVE to sleep to that either way because we need cool air in this house.

What about the swamp cooler? Oh yeah, the guy fixed it, and then it broke again. Apparently the motor was trashed so he replaced that and called it good. Then, I got home and it was on, and felt soooooo good. We turned it off for a while because it got cool enough and we don't like wasting money on power if we can help it. Then, I was getting ready for bed so I turned it on so it would be nice and cool (we sleep on the top floor) and POP and then the burning smell again.
Scott climbed back up there and it looks like the power thingy is short circuited and it blew the breaker and it's bad because the house could catch on fire and then I would lose all my yarn and Stargate and Gilmore Girls DVDs. And some other things that might be important.