Knitting Friends For Life!

So things for me lately have been...rough. If I sit down and think about it rationally, it only boils down to three main things: stress at work, financial difficulties, and Scott's back pain. Each of those things is something to worry about, yes, but all three together plus a depressive episode is a recipe for three weeks of hopelessness, sadness, self-loathing, loneliness, etc. There were a few moments in there when I wanted to figure out a way out. OUT. I hadn't missed any of my meds; it just got that bad for a few days there.

I did what I could to pull myself out of it. I got plenty of sleep. I took time off work (not really by choice, though; can't work if you have a screaming migraine). I ate vegetables (and those of you that know me well know that that's kinda a big deal). I drank lots of water (and less Dr. Pepper). I took long, hot, relaxing baths. I read books I love. I watched movies and TV shows I love. I knitted and crocheted and looked longingly through books of stitch patterns. I fondled yarn. I snuggled Buster. I confided in people and spent time with people, even when I didn't feel like it.

But it wasn't enough. I was still depressed, just trying to climb out of a deep emotional hole, and failing miserably.

Let me tell you about something that happened last night.

Well, I'll start with yesterday. I had missed two days of work, and so when I got to work Thursday morning the intensely overwhelming reality of what all I had to do to catch up hit me like a freight train, and I decided then and there that it would be a Klonopin day. I took half a dose so I wouldn't be woozy at work (woozy+concentrated acid=bad, bad things), waited for it to kick in, and went about my day. I got so much done and I wasn't stressed about it at all. At about 12:30 I started to feel it wearing off, so I took another half of a dose. Right about as that second dose was wearing off it was time to go home. I had accomplished everything I needed to (and more) and I hadn't snapped at anyone or totally lost it, so I felt like it had been a good day. Of course, every day that you spend half-stoned tends to be a good day.

So I got home and changed my clothes and went straight over to the pub to meet my knitting group. I sat down, ordered some wine and fish and chips, and got knitting. Well, that's when it happened.

Let me start by saying that I've been meeting with this group of women at least once a week (but usually more) for more than two years now. They know me almost as well as Scott knows me, and that's really something. I don't usually let people in this far but somehow I've known all along that I can trust these women with my life and soul and there's never going to be anything but love and acceptance.

Now, I've been spending the past three weeks with them, and it's been a rough patch, so as much as I've been trying to stay positive, it's not been working as well as I thought. I'd been confiding in them about what's been bothering me, and they've been so kind to listen and sympathize.

Here's this lovely group of women, and they see me hurting, and they understand my pain, and as soon as I sit down at the table they hand me a giant, pink basket, tied with a pink, polka-dotted bow, overflowing with pink, sparkly gifts. One of them put it in front of me and hugged me tight and said "This is an 'I Love You' basket. We just wanted you to know that we all love you and if you need anything at all you just have to ask."

And I just lost it. Right there in the pub. It was all I could do not to sob. These beautiful, wonderful women came together and wanted to let me know in the sweetest way possible that I am one of them, that we are all friends, and that we all love each other very, very much.

So what was in the basket?

I'll show you!

A big pink basket thingy, which I can use for knitting or whatever I want, a pink bracelet, a pink nail polish, a pink back massager, pink hair-ties, pink lip balm, and even a slinky and a whoopee cushion because what's a gift basket without a little whimsy?

A pink, flowered clipboard, a gratitude journal, a skull notepad, three pink, sparkly notepads, a cute pen and pencil, and Halloween stickers (some of which are pets in costumes and it's ADORABLE).

Lavender vanilla bath salts, a ring pop, pink gum, a coffee mug, Tazo chamomile tea, a stress drink, and coffee-filled chocolate.

Two pink pillows, one of them lovingly hand-quilted, a skein of sock yarn, a skein of ruffle scarf yarn, and two skeins of pink yarn, one sparkly and one just a bit shimmery with a lovely halo.

And here it is all together.

I came home from last night, having had some delicious food, wine, and chocolate cake, and having received such a wonderful, thoughtful, personal gift from an entire group of ladies who wanted to brighten my day, and I was floating. I felt so much better about myself, about life, and about my current troubles.

That, my friends, is the power you hold over your fellow human beings. I went from hating life and wanting it to be over to overflowing with joy and love for my family and especially my group of friends, all because someone did something selfless and kind.

Someday I (or you, or anyone else) may have the opportunity to brighten someone's day. It might be something big like a giant, nice-smelling, delicious, pink, sparkly gift-basket, or it might be something as small as a smile or a little compliment, but I guarantee you I am not going to pass any kind of opportunity up if there's even a small chance I can make a difference in someone's life.