Birthday Cream Puffs!

Last night Kwiddens came over for our traditional birthday celebration: dinner and baking!

First we mixed up the dough and baked the cream puffs. Here is The Kwiddens making me some delicious puffs:



Next we cut their tops off and pulled their guts out:

Next, we mixed up the whipped cream (with melted marshmallows instead of sugar! and coffee). While that set up in the refrigerator we went out to dinner at Red Lobster. It was so delicious. Crab legs always are. And our waiter was kinda cute and flirted with us a bit, and it made us feel pretty awesome about ourselves.

Then we came home and put the whipped cream inside the cream puffs:

I haven't tasted them yet, but they're sitting in my fridge just waiting for me to get home from work!

I See The Light!

I pulled out my SAD light the day after my last post. I rigged it so it shines on me while I'm in the shower, then while I brush my teeth, etc. It's only been two days, but I already feel a little bit better. Of course, it could be because work is less stressful when all my equipment works properly (finally...), or it could be because it's Friday (woo!), or it could be that I got free lunch today and it was delicious, or it could even just be a placebo effect. Either way, I'm going to keep it up and hope it helps.

I should have pulled it out a few months ago, but I just didn't feel like I was that far down, until I realized the other day that I didn't want to knit. There's seriously something wrong if I don't want to knit. At all. I also didn't want to go to Knit Night. I wouldn't have gone yesterday if Em didn't need me to pick her up at the train station so she could come to Knit Night, too.

Oh, did I mention that? Em is coming to my knitting group now, since I taught her how to crochet. Everyone loves her (which is not surprising, because she's hella charming).

Anyway, I'll keep you all posted on whether the SAD light continues to elevate my mood or not.

Still In The Dark

This time of year is really hard for me. It's so dark when I leave for work in the morning, and then I'm inside my lab all day, and then I come home and all I want to do is sleep. It's the hardest thing in the world for me to stay awake until a decent bedtime. Scott's been making fun of me for it. I know it's all in good fun and that he loves me, but I don't think he realizes how hard this is for me this year. I don't think he understands how powerful the urge to sleep actually is. And I think a large portion of that is the Abilify.

I want to try something else, but at the same time, I've never felt more calm and less anxious than I have while I've been on the Abilify. Scott definitely doesn't want me to try something else. I think switching meds around is more stressful for him than it is for me. He's the one that has to deal with any weird changes in my mood (not that I'm not experiencing it, but it's rougher on him for some reason than on me...it's almost like I can internalize what I'm feeling and make it not affect me as much, even though it's readily apparent to him what I'm feeling...it makes sense in my head).

I pry myself out of bed in the morning (after hitting snooze for half an hour), go to work, walk around in a haze all day, come home, and then I have to find something to fill my time until I can actually go to bed. Trust me, if I went to sleep right when I got home I'd easily sleep until morning. It's hard enough to stay awake after getting off of work at a normal time, but when I get off of work early and have time to take a nap before dinner...sigh. And the sad thing is, right after dinner I just want to get back in bed.

I'm taking my meds as faithfully as I can (I do forget a pill now and again, but I try to keep that from happening as much as possible). I have a SAD light, but I keep forgetting to use it, which makes me feel terrible for complaining when I'm not doing everything in my power to keep this depression at bay.

I'm sitting here, at work, at my desk, and fighting to stay awake. Maybe I'll head over to the gas station and grab a soda...