Well, this past weekend I gathered all my things and moved into a new apartment. It's very spacious, and I think the only thing I don't like about it is that the doors are brown instead of white like the walls. But I can live with that.
So far, I've gotten enough unpacked that I can function on a day to day basis, and I'm slowly unpacking the rest when I actually feel like it.
I get home from work or running errands or whatever and I come home and... I have nothing in particular that I need to do. I have nobody here to talk to or hang out with. I don't have my couch yet so all I do is climb into bed and watch Netflix until bedtime.
Not that I'm complaining, but now that I've temporarily given up crafting (I haven't felt like knitting anything at all since November 1), I have nothing to fill my time with. I'm trying to be as social as I can but it's hard during the week because my work schedule is unpredictable.
It's a big adjustment. My neighbors are extremely quiet (which is a good thing) but since I'm the only one here, there's no noise. I was so used to, at the minimum, Buster's toenails clicking on the floor as he walked.
I'm having a rough time sleeping. I keep having to up my dosage of Benadryl at bedtime to get to sleep. Once I get to sleep I stay asleep and it's all good, but I've been tossing and turning until midnight or later every night, and it's really wearing on me.
I'm trying so hard to stay positive and keep all the wonderful things I have in my life in mind, but some days all I can think of is what I'm losing. I know that's normal and healthy and just another part of the grieving process, but on the days where I am able to focus on the positive, I feel so much better. About everything. Work, friends, money, family, my new living arrangement...it all seems so much better on those easier days. But there are going to be a lot of bad days, and I'm just going to have to push through them until they become less and less frequent and things start to get better overall.
