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N.: Went to Dr. They took 5 vials of blood. Bloody vampires...
Me: Ha! At least they weren't zombies. Five vials of brains would leave you a bit stupid...
N.: Maybe that would be ok. I wouldn't know about the impending zombie apocalypse because I would be light on brains.
Me: Hmmm...good point.

Em: A woman called in furious that we had a presale on Sunday because it might encourage people to break the sabbath. Then she demanded we let her have all the presale discounts on Saturday.

Me: I'm a little worried that my friend will have to bring her babies with her to my house...
B.:Ugh, I hope not.
Me: Yeah. We have guns EVERYWHERE.
B.: I think shooting her babies might be a little extreme...
Me: Noooo, I meant that babies get into things. Bad things. And my house isn't childproof.
B.: LMAO, I know, I was hoping to make you laugh!

Jorg: "Wait, was Hitler still alive during WWI?"-some guy in my history class.
Me: You're JOKING.
Jorg: Nope.
Me: I'm so glad you're brilliant!

Me: Scott is eating chicken! Solid chicken!
Mim: Yay! Is it dead?