Last Weekend...A Marriage Proposal

So this past weekend was ok. I did something completely out of character for me that I've never done before:

I went and hung out at a bar.


Allene was going to meet with a friend she hadn't seen in many, many years and I went along as a designated driver. Scott thought it would be funny if I took my wedding ring off and flirted with boys.

I took my ring off and later regretted it.


But that's getting ahead of the story.


So Allene and I got ready. I even put makeup, jewelry, and a nice shirt on. I wore LIPSTICK. It's been years since I've worn lipstick. Don't believe me? Check this out:
Yes, no tee-shirt and jeans for me!


Anyway, we got all hottie-fied and went to Maverik (we have a problem, maybe some day I'll tell you about how addicted to Maverik we are) and got some drinks. On our way out this guy totally hit on us and asked us why we were dressed up and asked to come with us. He was cute. too!


So we drove up to Ogden. The bar is called Teazers...sounds like a strip club, don't you think? Well it wasn't.


We walked around the bar, checking out what was where and seeing what was going on. Apparently 9:30 is early for these people...boy do I feel like a grandma sometimes. So there wasn't a whole lot going on, so we went to look for Allene's friend. He was scheduled to bartend the outside bar on the patio, so we spent most of our night out there. They were talking about old friends and memories and having a really good time, and I was feeling a little awkward because I had never been to a bar before and I didn't know anyone there except Allene and all the other girls were skinnier and hotter than I was.


Every Friday night this bar has an amateur pole-dancing competition. Okay, fine, whatever. We were bored so we decided to go watch. Nobody was any good except the girl who won. Most of the entrants were really old or fat women who were very very VERY drunk (because if you aren't drunk, chances are you aren't going to pole dance in front of total strangers...unless it's your job, of course...) so it was kinda amusing. When it was over we headed back outside to talk to Allene's friend again.


So at this point we've been there for a few hours and people around us are starting to get pretty tipsy. So here I am, at a bar for the first time ever, and what do you know, a bar fight breaks out! Out on the patio there were several pavilions (you know, the portable kind that aren't tethered down or anything) and while these guys were brawling they knocked one of them over, and fortunately the people inside it had seen them coming and gotten out before it tipped over. It was amusing how fast security was on those guys, and they were both escorted in opposite directions, one of them outside the patio fence, and he kept trying to come back in and was swearing and slurring and flipping everyone off...really immature, but funny.


Things calmed down and we were back to the talking and this random guy came up to me and Allene and offered to buy us shots. I said no because I was driving and he was too drunk to understand and tried to buy me one anyway, and when I said no again he got a confused look on his face and said "Oh, you don't drink?" and I tried again to explain to him that I don't drink if I'm going to drive, and then after the third explanation he got the message. So Allene drank the shot and thanked him, and then he walked over to me and started talking to me. He was drunk AND soft-spoken so I couldn't hear a word he was saying over the loud music (by the way the DJ was really really annoying). So I just smiled and nodded and pretended I heard him and then he asked me to dance. I said no, I don't dance well, and he grabbed my arm and hauled me off to the dance floor. I was like, ok, well, this is weird...then he started dancing. It was a sort of drunk, rocking back and forth, off the rhythm weird monkey dance he was doing, and I was just sort of playing along because frankly at this point I was amused at how drunk people act.


After a minute I thanked him for the dance and walked back to where Allene was and started talking to her again, trying to get this guy to leave. He got the message (or maybe something shiny flew by and his attention wandered, I don't really know) and left and I was a little relieved because this guy was a little strange. Probably because he was drunk.


So this whole time Allene is drinking rum and coke and she has had like five and also two shots and she's feeling really relaxed and happy and she was getting a little goofy. That was also entertaining.


Apparently if you have seven drinks you will need to use the facilities more often than usual. It was on one of her trips, the one during which I decided to just stay and wait for her instead of coming with her, that the guy came back and ambushed me. He started talking to me...


Him: "My name is Michael."


Me: "Nice to meet you, Michael."


Him: "You have really nice teeth."


Me: "Um, thank you..."


Him: "Can I have your number?"


Me: "Actually, I'm married."


Him: "Then where's your ring?" (This is where I regretted taking off my ring. It was all in good fun but yeah.)


Me: "Oh, I...um...dropped it off to the cleaner's."


Him: "It's at the cleaner's?"


Me: "Yes."


Him: "Haha, so is my drink!" *stumbles a little and giggles drunkenly*


At this point Allene came back. The guy went over to her and had a little conversation (I found out later that he was asking her if I was really married and saying he didn't believe me and telling her I was really pretty and it goes on and on...drunk people talk a lot. Anyway, she convinced him that I was, in fact, married).


Then he came back over to me.


Him: "You're kinda shy."


Me: "Sometimes. I just don't know anyone, and I've never been to a bar before, so this is a little weird for me."


Him: "If you're so shy how did you get a husband?"


Me: "I met him on the internet."


Him: "Oh, so you're married?"


Me: "Yes..." (um, DUDE, we've been over this already)


Him: "Hm...will you marry me?"


Me: "Um, I'm already married."


Him: "Oh. Ok."


And he walked off.


Okay. Amusing. Apparently I'm getting married to this weird drunk guy who dances like a monkey on acid.


Later on, just a few minutes before we decided to come home, the guy CAME BACK. He said he was about to leave with his friends and he wanted to come say goodbye to the lovely ladies, and then he kept hugging us (that's the other thing, drunk people like hugs) and saying goodbye, then hugging us again...and again...finally he went away! Permanently! Although we did see him on the way out and kinda ducked to avoid him...


Anyway, while all this was going on the owner or manager or something of the bar came over and started talking to Allene. Allene was smoking, and the manager was asking her if she smoked. Um, yes, obviously. Then she asked me if I smoked, and I said no, and she looked at me like I was so uncool and put her hand in my face and turned back to Allene. Then, she started to lecture Allene on how bad smoking is for you and telling her she should quit. So apparently, I'm not cool but smoking can kill you. Whatever. Then she started giving us hugs as well.


Anyway. This was an interesting trip for me.


The ironic thing? I didn't drink a thing, and Allene had like seven drinks, and in the morning, I was the one with the headache.


How does that work?

Slither

I FINALLY finished Em's birthday present. It only took me 3 months...or was it 4? They were more or less done for the longest time. All they needed were the ends woven in and the buttons sewn on. And it took me all of an hour to do, it was just so annoying, which was why I was dreading it and putting it off for so long. I was going down this past weekend to see my family though, so I needed to get them finished because who knows how long it will be before I go down there again?

Anyway. So here they are, in all their glory:

On the beautiful Em:

They fit well on the hands and arms, but above the elbow they turned out to be too baggy. I am hating myself for this, but they're done and already gifted and there's nothing I can do about it. I need to accept that some things are in the past and beyond my control. Still, my eye twitches when I look at this picture.

Close up of the super awesome buttons I found on eBay:
On my hand/arm:
Laid out:
They really were fun to knit, once I figured out the right instructions.

And now, looking at that picture up there, I realize that Buster has bones and toys all over the floor and it makes the house look messy when it isn't. Just so you know.

Stickers

This past weekend was eventful, but I don't feel like writing about it right now. I will later, no worries.

The other day some Disney stickers came in the mail, and since none of us have any use for such things we put them on Buster. He was NOT amused. But we were...hehehe.

"I hate you."

"I'm not even going to look at you."
"Why would you do this to me?"
"I don't even like Disney!"

I Made Up My Own!

Ok, so I had a really clever idea today for a meme, so I'm starting it here and hopefully other people will want to do it too because I think it's clever and if you don't think so you can go away.

So here it is:


The Guilty Pleasures Meme


Under each category list something that you let yourself indulge in that you're slightly embarrassed about and/or people make fun of you for. It's actually funny.

1. Music
I listen to Britney. Scott makes fun of me, and if anyone else knew they would make fun of me. Oh, look, now the internet knows. I can't help it, people, it's CATCHY.


2. Movie
The Master Of Disguise. It's a horrible movie. Bad acting, stupid jokes, but let me tell you, it's so incredibly quotable if you're with Mim.

3. TV Show
I LOVE to watch those shows where it's eyewitness accounts of ghost stories and hauntings and poltergeists and exorcisms. I don't know why. I shouldn't watch them because they give me creepy crawlies and then I need a nightlight for a week, but it's like a freaking train wreck, I can't look away. Scott also mocks me for this, so I don't watch them when he's home anymore.

4. Book
I am a sucker for children's books. Not, The Pokey Little Puppy children's books, like books that were meant for children but have a large adult following as well. Harry Potter, Leven Thumps (Scottie just bought me the fourth one, gotta love him), Lord of the Rings, the Chronicles of Narnia, etc. all make me happy. Someday, if I do decide to have ONE kid, I will read to it all the time.


5. Food
I dip my pizza in ranch dressing. Disgusting, I know, but YUM.

6. Store
Wal-Mart. You know you saw it coming.


7. Chain Restaurant
I feel guilty about loving McDonald's so much. Those fries are like salty cardboard but Oh. My. do I love them. And McGriddles? Don't even get me started.


I'm more than halfway done with the second sock, but I've had to stay late at work several times lately so knitting just isn't happening as much as I would like.
I'm not sure if I like it, but it's hella comfy.

Sick Again

So I woke up in the middle of the night last night and my throat was all swollen and there was phlegm EVERYWHERE (you know you wanted to know). My alarm went off at 6:10 as usual. I seriously spent an hour debating calling in sick...I won and stayed home today.

Last Wednesday I also stayed home from work. I was feeling sick and I had a fever so I figured I shouldn't go in and spread the love to all my coworkers. The next day I woke up feeling mostly better but that day all through yesterday I pretty much felt...blah. You know the feeling. Not really bad, but just a little down and a little tired and sort of like you don't want to do anything because doing anything might actually make you feel actually sick...yeah. Fun. But I went to work anyway, because feeling blah isn't really an excuse to stay home.


But having your throat swell up and not being able to breathe through your nose because of the snot and body aches and head aches and stuffy ears are definitely an excuse to stay home.


I called Mim this morning and she could tell right away, and asked "Do you feel sick or just sick of it?" which was incredibly astute of her because yes, I did feel like crap but emotionally I was feeling crappy as well. I was feeling off this weekend so I was forgetting my meds all over the place and then today it REALLY caught up with me. I hate being depressed for no reason, it sucks big time.


But I have been battling this cold for over a week now. I was planning on going down to visit my family this past weekend but I decided not to go because Em and Mim were both sick and I didn't want to get sick (irony). So I stayed home, which did me ZERO good because Chris was sick and so everyone else in the house got sick too, so I should have just gone down to be sick with my family. At least I would have seen everyone. So, the visit has been put off until this coming weekend, assuming we all aren't dead.


So yesterday I was so good. I ate healthy all day and I even walked on the treadmill, although I had to stop because I pretty much almost passed out (because of the whole being sick thing). But at least I tried!


Then today I was feeling crappy so I ate crappy because that's what I do to make myself feel better, which of course made me feel worse. You'd think I would remember this before I eat a cheeseburger, but noooo, I'm an idiot sometimes.
So, Allene and Scott came home and we decided we all need to be healthier and stop eating out so much, so we went grocery shopping and got lots of fruits and veggies and stuff to make actual meals and stuff to make lunches so we aren't spending so much money. Hopefully we will all lose some weight and feel healthier. Either way, our wallets will be fatter.


So poor Em, all three of her bunnies died recently. It was a freakish coincidence. She takes amazingly good care of them, but first one of them broke her leg, then was ok, albeit in a cast, for a few days.
Then she got really really sick and Mim and Em had to stay up all night feeding her yogurt and gatorade and then she was better. For a few weeks. Then randomly she was dead one day.
Then, one of the other ones had a random intestinal rupture and died.
She just went downstairs one day and the other one was just dead for no apparent reason.
So now Em has mourned and gotten two new bunnies named Vincent and Yuki.
They were supposed to be both boys but OOPS there is a girl and a boy and so they will have baby bunnies.


At the store today I stubbed my toe (again, this is a trend) and it was bleeding all over. Yay me.

I Miss College SO BAD

Brilliant. Just...brilliant.

36!

So today started off as a pretty nice, normal day. I woke up and hit snooze as usual. I didn't want to go to work as usual (not because I hate my job, but because FREAKING SIX IN THE MORNING), I got to work very leisurely today because there were only 6 samples (and how I stretched that into 7 hours of work I have no idea)(oh yeah, I read half a book). The furnace gave me crap as usual, we had our Thursday treat as usual (David ordered pizza today, and it was so good so of course I ate too much), and I was just about to do mercury testing as usual when I heard a beep.

My cell phone said I had a message. This isn't weird or anything. I get almost no cell reception where I work so sometimes my phone doesn't ring and then ten minutes later I have a message.

So I checked my message and it was Scott. He sounded SO HAPPY and said there was AMAZING AWESOME news and to call him NOW.

Cool. I called him and he gave me the awesome news.

However first you need some background information:

When we moved in to this house we signed a rent-to-own agreement. We agreed that at the end of one year we would buy the house for $XXX,000, and every month $400.00 would go toward the down payment on the home. If for some reason we didn't buy the house for $XXX,000, we would lose that $400.00 a month and also the $1000 deposit we made on the house when we started renting it.

Cool.

So for the last year, we have been saving and preparing ourselves to take out a $XXX,000 mortgage.

Now here's the cool news:

We got the house appraised the other day. The appraisal came back saying the house was actually worth $30,000 less than the $XXX,000 we originally planned for. This wasn't terrible surprising, since the housing market has been so insane this past year and we really didn't know how much the house would appraise for. I'm sure that before the market crashed this past year the house actually WAS worth $XXX,000, but not now.

So we called our landlord, the guy who is selling us the house, and told him. We were expecting him to be really disappointed. After all, he would be getting much less for the house than he hoped. BUT.

Not only was he totally cool about selling it to us for the appraised price, he also said we could keep our original deal and still have the money we put toward equity all year!

So, we saved $30,000 from the house appraising lower than we expected.

We saved $1000 for the security deposit that he's putting toward the payment on the house.

We saved $4,800 for the money that went toward equity each month that he's also putting toward the payment on the house.

So, about $36,000.

So, Scott and I went around all day practically walking on air and saying "We saved 36 grand today!" every five minutes. And then I was listing all the things I could buy for 36 grand. I could buy $36,000 worth of yarn. I could buy a mid-life crisis car. The list goes on.

So happy day!

This means our bank account won't be as empty as we thought. We'll still have to scrimp a little for a few months, but we're going to be totally fine.

Too bad we'll be zillions of dollars in debt.

Oh well. We've already started making plans for the renovations we want to do on the house. So exciting!

Oriental Chicken Wrap Mmmmmmmm

Of course, the night that it's lovely and cool outside so we decide to open all the windows is the night the air force base decides to scramble the jets. And, since we live about two blocks from the base, it's FREAKING LOUD.

Make it stop!

I was lucky to be able to have dinner with Kwiddens tonight. We went to Applebee's, which I love, but I never get to go there because Scott doesn't like it. Oh well. It's so nice to have made up with her. She and I are both kind of on the same page now about so many things and so where before I only had Scott and Mim to be totally open and honest with, now I have her back in my life and she doesn't mind if I swear like a sailor while we talk about anything and everything. Today it was embarrassing bathroom stories. Crude, maybe, but hilarious.

We were also thinking back to the good times, back when we were in high school and things hadn't exploded yet. We were remembering how ridiculous some of Dad's rules were, and remembering the ridiculous amount of shoes Kwiddens had (I was so jealous), and the house we had that finally felt like a home (we moved a lot, so it took living in Sioux Falls for years and years and years before we finally felt settled). We were looking back at high school and remembering our friends and activities and I hadn't realized how long ago that was. And I'm not even that old yet.

I often have a long list in my head of things I would like to blog about and by the time I sit down with my lappie I have forgotten most of them. I should buy more post-it notes and write them all down. But then I would probably lose the notes and then I would be in the same place.

I love when the yarn catalog comes in the mail.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me A Match!

Let me start off by telling you how ridiculously clumsy I am. I have a terrible sense of balance. When I am on my treadmill I have to be facing forward. I can't even turn to look at something without grabbing onto the handrails because I WILL tip over. You'd think I would know this by now. Apparently not. This is what happens when you tip over on a treadmill:
Yay, the belt skinned me! Yay! My ankle hurts...and I just looked at it, and it looks way worse now. Scabby.

So now I will tell you the wonderful story about work this week. Everything freaking breaks, but this isn't news. So here's how it went down: This week was a short week since we had Labor Day off, and that was just awesome. However, it seemed LONGER than all the normal weeks because I stayed late almost every day because of the ginormous amount of stuff from another lab we sontract with (fortunately, when you're crazy busy time seems to go by much more quickly, so it wasn't so bad except my feet hurt).


Well, Wednesday I was doing the mercury testing, and BOY did I have a ton of it, when on my last few samples the computer started acting screwy. I would start a sample, then the computer would go all blue and tell me it couldn't record data onto the hard drive, Please Press Any Key, so I did and the screen went away and then it let me do the next sample. So, I just did this several times and finished up all my samples before worrying about figuring out what was wrong with the computer. So fortunately, Wednesday's samples were done. So I decided that I should reboot the computer and see if it did it again after it had a chance to reset itself (or whatever computers do when they reboot). So I rebooted, and then I waited...and waited...and finally I just left the room to do something else, and I came back later and it was still stuck. Sad.


I called our IT guy and he was going to be able to come in the morning, and since I had finished testing and wouldn't need to test more on that instrument until the next afternoon, this was fine by me. So Thursday morning Tim came in and it took him all of five minutes to determine that the hard drive was D.E.A.D. dead. Which is never good. So he went to see what he could dig up as a replacement computer, and when he came back he essentially said he could make a temporary fix but he would have to come back the next day and do it all over again on a new machine, so we all decided to just have him come back the next day with the new machine and save him the hassle. It isn't the end of the month or anything so people can go without results on something for one more day and the world won't end.


So Friday Tim came (earlier than he said he was going to, AWESOME, that never happens) and he installed the new computer and the software and it took ten minutes and then I was able to finish all the samples and go home early.


NOT.


He brought in the new computer. He brought the software. Now here's the thing: the old computer was running Windows 98 (ancient, I know) because the instrument is so old and the software that goes with the instrument is so old and so it only functioned on 98. However, there are no longer computers with 98 on them, so then Tim had to search and call the software company and reinstall with a patch (that it took an hour to get) and then once we got the patch installed, we had it up and running on a brand new XP system that has a three year warranty. Awesome.


Next came the time to go into the program and set it up for the specific instrument we have. I had an SOP (standard operating procedure) that outlined all the settings that should be in the program, but it didn't specify which version of the software we should use (there were two) and it didn't specify the configuration settings, and so we spent another hour trying different combinations to see which one would work, and finally, after about the tenth time seeing "Error: software not communicating with spectrometer" we decided to call the company we use to fix the instrument when it's broken. So that took a while, and each time we thought we had it we had to call them back and clarify things again, and it was a long and annoying process and finally we got it working
after almost four hours, by which time I would normally be going home. BUT, people needed their results! So I did our samples from Thursday and Friday as quickly as I possibly could and decided to skip a large batch of another lab's samples until Monday, and finally I got to go home and I was so tired that I ate a ton of ice cream and then felt horrible about eating ice cream because I was going to be healthy (don't ask me how that's working out, I hate that I have health and weight and eating problems).


So basically, on Monday, here are the samples I get to run:

And these:

Oh, and these:

Also these:

And we can't forget the monthly water testing:

So Monday will be a long day. Because Richard is also coming in to do a preventative maintenance thingy on the furnace.

OH! I almost forgot. To add to the drama, Friday morning my furnace autosampler wouldn't autosample. I tried everything I could think of before calling Richard to ask for help, and (poor thing, it was his day off and I didn't know) he walked me through a ton of stuff over the phone but it's hard to describe the specific tube and knob and whatever to check over the phone so finally he just came over and helped me fix it. I learned something new, as usual, so if it ever happens again, I won't have to call him.

Now, since this has been a post about crazy depressing things, here's a picture of a crazy UNdepressing thing:

Buster in a kerchief. He did not like it. Now, I have the matchmaker song from Fiddler on the Roof stuck in my head.

Lame.

Also, blogger sucks and won't let me format the way I want. Stupid blogger, sheesh.