Is Switching Worth It, Anyway?

You know, I had a job interview at a pharmaceutical company back in February that I can't stop thinking about.

The whole time the interviewers (and there were two sets, and two interviews) had poker faces, so I couldn't tell if I did well or answered their questions right or not. But there was one question they asked me that I could have answered waaaaay better, and I can't stop thinking about how dumb my answer was, and what I should have said, etc.

It's stupid, really, because I didn't want the job anyway. I mean, it's in Salt Lake, and while my commute now is 20 minutes on a bad day, it took me 45 minutes to get down there not during rush hour. Also, the issue I have been trying to resolve at my current job wouldn't have been resolved to my satisfaction, so the whole thing ended up being a waste of time and money (I had to buy a suit for the interview, because my wardrobe consists of jeans and tee shirts).

The whole interview process got me thinking, though, and feeling terrible, because I'm just like that. If I were to get another interview at a different company, one closer to me with better potential for my happiness and stability, I don't know that I'd do well, either. I passed the HR interview in February with flying colors, I'm sure, because DAMN am I charming, but the chemists' interview...didn't go so well. Part of the problem is they weren't asking me questions about my current job and skills, but about things I did years and years and years ago, and of course I'm not going to remember everything from college because not only has it been almost six years, but my brain has also melted into a pool of psychotropic drugs and brain goo. But I can't exactly explain to an interviewer, "Hey, I'm bipolar, and my medication makes it hard for me to remember things" because OH BOY does that sound horrible and who knows what their views on mental illness are, and then of course they'd question my ability to actually do the job (which I'd be fabulous at, by the way, because I'm damn good in a lab, regardless of what I can't remember from six years ago).

Anyway, it got me thinking about everything, the whole situation, and the job I have now, and I realized: I don't want to leave this job. I really don't. And I don't think I could handle another interview situation with another company. The whole process was very stressful for me. So, I'm probably going to stay right here. Where I'm mostly happy and very, very comfortable.