Deck Party Aside: Odds And Ends

I know you are just longing for more information about the deck. It's getting done, slowly but surely. Scott's working on the railing that goes down the stairs, which is proving to be quite difficult. Once it's done I'll put up some pictures, but for now here are some extra random pictures that didn't really fit into the other posts about the deck.


On the left you will note Mim's Monster, and on the right you will note my chocolate milk. This is an accurate reflection of what fuels us.

Throughout the day, however, we switched to Gatorades. We went through several cases of them, which is good, because dehydration in the hot sun SUCKS.

Cutting the risers for the stairs left some fun chunks:

Buster, lounging in the corner of the yard. At first he was terrified of the sounds of the power tools, but he figured out he was safe and just hung out for the rest of the time.

Our spread of small hand tools, and nails, and in the middle the garbage pile. So eco-friendly.

It will all get done. Eventually. We're not really in a hurry, so no sweat.

Mim!

So today I would like to wish a Happy Birthday to my Mim, who is turning XX years old today!

Mim is one of my favorite people in the entire world, because she is awesome, smart, strong, loyal, and hilariously witty.

We had our rough points but we both grew up a bit, got to know each other better, and took care of our brain chemicals so we could both move forward and be not just mother and daughter, but best friends as well.

She's been with me my whole life, cheering me on when I tried to accomplish something, cheering me up when things didn't work out, giving me all the tools I needed to become a succcessful adult, and always believing in me, even when I didn't believe in myself.

Plus she's pretty.

She is the best road-tripper, an awesome philosopher and mathematician, and she makes really good pancakes and biscuits from scratch (and almost nothing else)(sorry Mim, it's true).

She gave me many genetic traits for which I am grateful, but even more for which I am NOT grateful, namely, IBS and carpal tunnel, among others.

Basically, she's just awesome. And that's that.

Happy Birthday, Mim!

She Makes Me Smile

And now, for your viewing pleasure, pictures of Nyah.


Because she's cute.

Missing School

Often at work, or when people ask me a chemistry question, I realize how much I've forgotten and how much I never knew in the first place. That's the problem with getting a degree; the more you learn the dumber you feel as you find out about more and more that you don't have a clue about. Awesome.

I often get the urge to review my chemistry just to keep it fresh in my mind, and I've never really acted on that urge because I didn't have many of my books from college. It's one of the only things I regret from my college years: selling back my chemistry books. Now, I realize that this was necessary in order to afford the books for the next semester, but I wish I would have found another way, because now I don't have them and I miss them terribly.

But the other day, I was itching to review some chemistry, and I remembered that I am The Queen Of Internet Shopping, and I decided to see if I could find my old books online. I made myself a list of the chemistry courses I had taken (I still remember each course and its course number, yes that's sad) and went down the list, searching online for the book I had for each course. This wasn't easy as I had forgotten which books I had in the first place, so I spent a few hours doing this. But I did it!

The next step was finding the books for sale online. This is why I am in love with Amazon.com. I found all of my books. All of them. The best part? Three of them were under $10 (including shipping) in very good condition from sellers of used books. I went home and checked to see what books I still had, and I had several still, and a few that I didn't have I had some good replacements for (due to inheriting all the books in an old professor's office one time), so I only needed to actually buy five books. So I'm keeping a close eye on Amazon to see if the other two books come down in price. Even if they don't, I will be able to get them for about $20 each, which isn't bad considering they were originally hundreds of dollars. Let me tell you, upper level chemistry books are some of the most expensive textbooks out there.

So I started with my general chemistry book, which I still had. When I was in college I was so busy that I pretty much learned what was going to be on the exams, and there were bits and pieces that I missed because I was strapped for time. This time around, I have all the time in the world, so I am reading each chapter slowly, highlighting and practicing the chapter exercises. I'm in nerd heaven. I remember now why I chose this as my major: it's very interesting, and there are numbers involved, and I love math and I love knowing how things work and interesting applications of different chemical processes.

So the plan is to go through and review, class by class, until I feel I have fully refreshed my memory, and even learned more than I did in the first place.

Now. This has brought all sorts of good memories to the front of my mind, and I am remembering how much I loved school. I've always loved school, since the very first day of kindergarten. Yes, there were times when I was stressed, but I love learning. I love the smell of books, I love buying new school supplies, I love sitting in class and listening and debating and asking questions, I love sitting and doing homework (believe it or not), and I love taking tests, because they are challenges and it's very gratifying to get good scores, which I almost always did (because of loving school so much).

All of this made me want so very badly to go back to grad school.

But one of the things I've realized about myself is that I can't be in school full time and be healthy at the same time. It's too much. I don't handle stress well, and if I don't sleep enough it throws my brain chemicals (and my whole body) into utter chaos. I thought about doing a master's with night classes, just part time, but chemistry is one of the few disciplines that can't really be done at night. There just isn't enough demand for chemistry classes to extend them to night school.

I wouldn't want to quit my job, either. I love my job. It's amazing. It's such a perfect match to me and my needs. Getting a master's would involve time-consuming research, and I would probably have to quit to be able to devote enough time to it.

The other thing to consider is that I wouldn't know where to go. BYU's chemistry department was AMAZING in resources, classes offered, and staff. I loved it there. I didn't like BYU in general, but the chemistry department was always wonderful to me. So, naturally I would want to go there for grad school. However, not only is it an hour and a half drive from my house if there's no traffic, but I couldn't get back in to save my life, since I've become a heathen.

So, my other options would be to go to the U of U or Weber State, which are closer to my house, but not close enough to be convenient, and I don't honestly know much about either chemistry department, except that the U of U was the place where that cold fusion thing took place years and years ago, which didn't make them look too good.

So, basically, it won't happen. It can't happen. And I need to be ok with that.

So I think what I will do is to keep reviewing my books, and then branch out. I learn extremely well from books, and if there's anything I don't understand I can always internet. The internet knows everything; you just have to know how to sort through the garbage to get to the real stuff.

Oh, 'Stang, How I Love Thee!

Remember this old thing?



Well, Mr. Amazing Scott has been working hard for months now, just in his spare time, doing body work and then priming and priming and priming, and then spent several weekends in a row working on the paint, and then polishing all the chrome and getting new parts for the markers, and putting it all together and here is the nearly finished front end:



And its incredibly sexy rear end:



Next up is the interior! But can you believe it turned out so amazing? And he painted himself! He turned our garage into a painting booth and it was so very very cool!

Those ER Docs...

Well last time I talked about a hospital visit it was wonderful because I became an auntie and Nyah is just precious.

This time it's sad...

Last week Mim was having headaches, but they weren't unbearable and they went way after a few days, so she wasn't too concerned about it. But then yesterday she was driving up to see Kwiddens and Nyah and on the way she had another headache come on. This time it was unbearable. Just to give you an idea of how tough Mim is, she once had a nail go through her foot and then her brother just yanked it out and she didn't even cry. I would have been bawling, but that's not the point. Anyway, by the time she got to Kwiddens's house she was crying because she was hurting so bad, and the pain was starting to spread to her whole body. She also started to develop a fever, so Kwiddens gave her some Tylenol to see if that would lower her temperature and help with the pain, but the pain stayed and her temperature kept rising, so she gave her some ibuprofen, and same story. Her temperature got up to 102.8, so they took her into the emergency room around 8:00 last night.

When they got her there they did the usual: hook her up to IV fluids, get vitals and medical information, take urine and blood samples, then send them to the lab. And then we waited...and waited...it could have been the slowest lab technician in the world. After about three hours the results came back from those and they were clean, and her white blood count was totally normal, so the next thing was to do some x-rays. Those came back clean as well, so then they did a CT scan...also clean.

The suspicion was some kind of meningitis, since it manifested as a severe headache, then body aches with a sudden, high fever. So they then did a spinal tap, and Mim does NOT like needles so it was really really hard to watch her go through that...After another hour and a half they got the results of the spinal tap back, and big surprise, it was completely clear.

Medical mystery, that woman.

Anyway, they decided there really wasn't anything else they could do diagnostically, so they sent her home with instructions to drink lots of water and keep taking Tylenol and ibuprofen, and if it isn't gone in a few days they told her to come back to get an MRI. Fun times.

So Kwiddens and I got her and the cars back to Kwiddens's house, where Mim's van was parked, and we drove the van and my car down to Bob's house in Orem (the boyfriend...I'm not sure if I've mentioned him yet) where she would be able to crash and have someone keep an eye on her. Kwiddens and I then set off to IHOP, because I was STARVING, and the other option was tacos from Del Taco, since they're open 24 hours a day, and it was 4:00 in the morning...yes, they have one of those 4:00 thingies in the morning, can you believe it??

I did get to work on time though. I just went straight from dropping Kwiddens off to work, and I was actually there early, so I was able to get done very quickly, put in for a few hours of PTO, and go home and sleep.

There were only two good things about this entire incident:

1. Even though she was in terrible pain, Mim, Kwiddens and I had a blast just talking and keeping each other company. We're all cool like that.

2. This masterpiece:

Cheesecake pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream.

Plus the Rock Star, large cappuccino, two glasses of diet Pepsi, and diet Mountain Dew I had throughout the night and morning.

That was a crazy crash...

Ramble Ramble Ramble

Tuesday we came home and there were weird red spots on the carpet in the living room. It was pretty late so we didn't worry about it until the next day. It turns out, Buster threw up his (red) dog food all over, and then ate it, so all that was left were smelly red spots. Fabulous. So Wednesday Scott went and rented a RugDoctor, and we cleaned the spots the best we could, and even though it didn't get the stain out the nasty junk was out of the carpet so we were ok with it and we returned the cleaner and went to bed.

We got up in the morning and everything seemed fine, and we both headed off to work. When we got home and opened the door the stench was overwhelming...bleh. I think the RugDoctor just kinda spread around the nast instead of totally sucking it up, and to top it all off it didn't pull out enough of the water in the carpet, so it got mildewy and gross and smelly (so pleasant) while it was "drying"...so that was a complete waste of $30.

So today we called around and found a guy who could do the whole room and the stairs for $50, which is a pretty awesome deal, and he was able to come over an hour and a half after we called, which was also awesome. So, now our carpet is very very clean and smells NICE. He even got the traffic spots out.

Moral of the story?

RugDoctors suck. A lot. Don't bother.

Today I was reading some chemistry history (nerdy...) and I was talking to Scott about it and I was saying how if there's an afterlife with a heaven or maybe even a Chemist Heaven (and when I said that Scott about died from laughter...) the guys up there must be like, "I told you and you guys totally didn't believe me!" and they must feel so...vindicated. What a nice feeling. Good job, Avogadro.

I am getting better at playing Plants vs. Zombies. If you haven't played this game you MUST. It is SO MUCH FUN and SO CUTE and THE PLANTS HAVE FACES. I mean, come on. What other game lets you throw butter and popcorn kernels at a zombie to kill it?

Scott and I are now both on fatsecret.com. It's a daily food and exercise diary that keeps track of calories, portion sizes, and all the exercise you do. If you're dieting, it's definitely worth checking out. We're both in love with it. Scott's phone even has an app for it, so when he scans in a bar code on whatever food he's eating it automatically logs it in his food diary. Very cool.

Mim and I are going to go to a family reunion up in Sandpoint, ID later this month. We'll see how that turns out...either way we'll get a band saw out of the deal (more explanation later). The fam is also coming up to our house for July 4 for fooding, a movie, and fireworks (the little baby ones that are legal in this horrible state).

There were several other things I thought about today that I wanted to write about but I've completely forgotten them. I suppose that's what I get for not writing things down.

10 Reasons

Here are ten reasons I love Scott:

1. He squishes spiders for me when they attack me in the shower.

2. He lets me buy yarn whenever I want.

3. He's dieting with me. Go Team!

4. He can tell what mood I'm in before even I know what mood I'm in and he knows how to make the bad moods go away (or at least get a little happier).

5. He squishes spiders for me when they attack me from behind the couch.

6. He doesn't let me carry heavy things.

7. He does the dishes when I leave for the weekend.

8. He likes spending time with me, even if we're just grocery shopping.

9. He picks the peas (that he's allergic to) out of casseroles so we can get the ones I want to eat.

10. He squishes spiders for me when they attack me in our bedroom.

This, of course, is not a comprehensive list. I just like things in multiples of ten.

The spider in the shower this morning was one of those giant, really fat, hairy, black ones.

No Babies!

So I don't like kids. I don't want kids. Anyone who knows me knows this.

But oh boy do I love being an auntie!

On Saturday I went over to Kwiddens's house and spent some time with her and Nyah and Isaac. When she was born, I didn't get much of a chance to hold Nyah because everyone else was HOGGING her...

I got there at about 11:00 and we talked while they got ready for Isaac to take Nyah over to his grandfather's house to visit. While he was gone, Kwiddens and I decided to go out shopping for baby things (my new obsession) and then get some lunch. We did, and at lunch I ate rolls with honey butter (pure heaven) and then when we got home I spent the next ten hours playing with the baby, holding the baby, feeding the baby, burping the baby, loving the baby, and fortunately, still not wanting my own baby.

But let me tell you people:

Having a little baby niece of my very own is just heavenly. She came out perfect. She looks perfect, she smells perfect, she feels perfect...you should touch her cheeks. And her hair. They're...well, perfect. Perfectly smooooooooth and soft, that is.

I spent hours just like this. She's such a little cuddlebug. If you put her down in her bassinet she wakes up and makes little baby noises, but if you hold her she sleeps soundly until she gets hungry.

One of the reasons I don't generally like kids is that they're noisy. But this particular baby isn't! She cries a little bit when she gets hungry but as soon as she gets a bottle she just snuggles back into your arm and eats, and then she's back asleep.

If you can't tell, I'm in love.

Am I a baby convert? Eh. Not really. But am I a Nyah convert?

Abso-freaking-lutely.

On Being Crazy

So I briefly touched on the fact that I had a manic phase last week when I posted about my trip to Lava Hot Springs.

Which got me thinking. I have never on this blog been able to just come out and say what exactly is wrong with me. I think I've been a bit ashamed of it, a little embarrassed, a little bit afraid of what people might think. Which is stupid, now that I think about it.

At this point I think you guys all know me well enough to understand more about mental illness than I've given you credit for in the past. You all know that:

1. It isn't my fault. It's a combination of faulty genetics and lots of crap I went through. Mostly it's the genetics, though.
2. My soul isn't "defective". I have a beautiful soul, and it's whole and very special.
3. I can lead a relatively normal life as long as I take my medicine. People would never know there was anything wrong unless I told them. And I generally don't tell people who don't need to know. But telling people things is what the internet is for, so here we are.

Besides, the antiquated views on mental illness are...well, antiquated. I'm not posessed by demons, I promise.

So here it is:

I have Bipolar Disorder. Bipolar Disorder usually fits into one of two categories, named Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2. I have a rare form that doesn't really fit into either category. To put it into perspective, it's about as serious as Schizophrenia. In addition to Bipolar Disorder, I have Clinical Depression, an anxiety disorder, and a few OCDish tendencies (but I like the last one because it makes me do everything with mathematical patterns and I am ridiculously good at coming up with organizational systems).

I take pills 3 times a day. 3 medications (or 4 if I have a panic attack), 5 pills, some taken morning, noon, and night. I'm also on a continuous dose of birth control that prevents periods completely so I don't have to worry about the whole PMS thing (thank heaven...).

I love my manic phases because I feel FABULOUS. I feel like I have so much energy. My moods soar. I get so much done. I go out and do things and actually enjoy life for a few days (not that I don't enjoy life in general, it's just a really intense enjoyment I'm talking about here).

I hate my manic phases because when it ends, it ENDS. Abruptly. And I crash below my baseline. My medications usually keep me at a good baseline, which makes me feel pretty good every day. But after a manic phase, I just...can't. It's hard to explain. This is why it's a good thing that I only have 1 or 2 of these a year.

So Friday night I felt fabulous and I got home around 2:00 a.m. and went to sleep, and by the next morning I had crashed. I woke up and didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to lie on the couch all day and eat junk and be lazy, and so that's what I did. And I ate half of a chocolate silk pie and too much ice cream along with it. Sunday was similar, but I made myself get up and do some yard work. I'm slowly climbing back up out of this hole, but I still feel lethargic and blah. That's really the only way to describe it. Blah. And poor Scott has to put up with me being down on everything and moody and sleepy.

At least I'm not being a jerk this time.

The thing about being below my baseline is that it feels like I could fall further at any moment. It's like I'm on the edge of a cliff. I'm on solid ground, yes, but my toes are hanging off the edge and all it would take would be just a little push from anything, really, and down I would go. Fortunately, my antidepressant makes the cliff a lot shorter. (Thank you Mim for the awesome analogy.)

Fortunately, I have a weekend that starts at 3:00 this afternoon, and I can just chill out and by next week I will have gotten plenty of sleep and my moods will be back to normal.