Text Time 5

Today's texts are brought to you by The Kwiddens. And pregnancy. And babies. Etc.

Kwiddens: I just lifted a watermelon and almost popped out a baby.

Me: You are hilarious!

Me: Are you gonna pop that baby out soon? You must feel ready to burst!!!

Kwiddens: No kidding. I felt like water was going to break last night. We're out shooting today. Maybe the off roading will help get her out.

Me: That would be an awesome story to tell. "How I Went Into Labor"...

Kwiddens: For real! It would be hilarious.

Me: You're due in less than a month, you know.

Kwiddens: I know! It could be like any day now!

Me: You will call or text me when you go into labor, right?

Kwiddens: Of course.

Me: And then you goes to the hospital and spit it out.

Kwiddens: Haha or something like that.

Kwiddens: I just got kicked so hard I almost peed

Me: Kicked by whom??

Kwiddens: Nyah

Me: Oh ok I thought someone else kicked you and I was about to be pissed.

Kwiddens: Lol no. I would have kicked some ass if anybody had kicked me.

Kwiddens: Apparently changing tables are useless once your baby can roll.

Emotions...So Complicated

When I was growing up and my life was a living hell and I hadn't found the proper medication (or the proper psychotherapist, for that matter) I had to come up with some way to cope with all the crap and the only way I could was to shut out as much emotion as possible and just try to feel numb. For the most part, it worked. I studied a lot, which ended up being a very good thing, and kept me hidden away in my room most of the time I was at home, and I had friends, but I think I didn't know how much they meant to me until we were thousands of miles apart.

Now that I'm properly medicated I have the ability to feel emotions like "normal" people do. Antidepressants (and mood stabilizers, and antipsychotics, oh my) aren't "happy pills"; they simply give me the ability to feel happy when it is appropriate. While this is a beautiful, beautiful thing, these magical little pills also give me the ability to feel immensely sad at times, but about things that I should feel sad about.

So lately I've been a little bored, mostly just because I've been working fewer hours and am less motivated to work on the blanket (which is coming along beautifully, by the way, I'm just feeling quite blah about everything) and so I have more time to think and hang out on Facebook.

And lately what I've been noticing is that I feel immensely sad when I think about the friends I had back in South Dakota and how much I miss them, and even more sad when I think about how I'm stuck here in Utah and will probably never see most of them again.

I had one friend, Jacee, who was in the theater department with me and we had so much fun all the time having sleepovers, renting movies, going on bike rides, etc. My boyfriend and I went to the prom with her and her boyfriend. We were together the night of the senior class party and all the times we went to that nasty old pancake house on 10th Street.

Another friend I had was Cali, who was and always will be the most beautiful person I have ever known. She introduced me to so much amazing music, and she always let me be myself when I was with her. We had so many inside jokes, and we knew all about each other's pasts and heartaches. We even had a notebook (that I found the other day...forgot I still had it) in which we wrote our "Complaint of the Day" every day in lit class.

There was Shelby, who has always been an inspiration to me. She lives every day to its fullest..."No Day But Today" was plastered on the top of her mortarboard the day we graduated high school. She has always been a good person to talk to, to bounce ideas off of, to cry or complain to, because she loves listening and truly cares.

I had a lot of friends like this in college as well, and it's always the same story...we grow up and move on and try to keep in touch but life gets busy and it's never the same again.

I am so incredibly sad about this.

And the heartbreaking part is, I don't have very many people like this in my life any more. And I don't know where to find them, now that I'm out of school, and that makes me feel kinda...pathetic. Like, I've turned into this lonely person and now that I can actually feel emotions and have lasting relationships all the relationships I had before are all but gone.

Isn't life awesome?

A Slave To Food No More

So several months ago I decided not to eat burgers or fries ever again. I haven't! I feel awesome about that.

So I'm pretty much down to a normal, healthy size now and I want to stay here, and maybe even lose more.

It's time to add more foods to my never again list.

I'm adding donuts, and I'm thinking about extending the french fry rule and just saying no potatoes. All they are is starch starch starch and from everything I've read they have a high glycemic index and aren't as good for you as whole grain starches. I think this would actually be easy, since I don't eat potatoes that much unless I go out and get them with a steak, and the past several times I have done that I have gotten extra vegetables instead of potatoes anyway, so it wouldn't be a big adjustment.

I am also going to change my "diet soda most of the time" rule to "diet soda all the time". I don't need the empty calories, and most of the time I like the taste of the diet version better anyway. I'm going to limit the soda to twice a week, which is more than I usually have anyway. In addition, I am drinking much more water, usually 3-4 liters a day.

With all the water I'm drinking, and the extra fiber supplements I'm taking, I find that I'm not as hungry lately and it takes less food to fill me up.

I'm not going to eat junky breakfast cereals any more. I'm sticking to oatmeal, bran flakes, granola, or shredded wheat. And when I eat bread I'm going to switch to wheat.

I just desperately want to stay where I am with my weight. I had a bad day yesterday because I woke up and I had gained half a pound, and this morning it was gone (I assume I was retaining water for some reason), and I know half a pound seems like no big deal but it adds up quickly. Trust me. If I gained the weight back again I honestly don't know if I could even deal with it...I'm afraid of what would happen and what I would do if I ever got there again.

I think that by telling the internet I will be more motivated to stick with it because I don't want to have to confess that I ate junk food at some point.

I also used my lunch break to exercise yesterday and I feel pretty good about that as well.

I really want to do this.

Deck Party Aside: Home Depot

So when Scott applied for his Home Depot card, his first purchase got 10% off, so we decided to get as much stuff on that charge with that discount as possible. We bought a lot of the hardware for the deck and also some tools we needed to build it. One of these tools was a miter saw:

Yay! It's been super useful!

But how we got to super useful is a funny little thing...

We originally bought the saw a few weeks ago, before we even ordered the Trex. We pulled it off the shelf, where is was packaged and advertised as "new", not as "used". So, we assumed it was new and we didn't open it until we were ready to use it.

So the morning we actually started building the deck and needed it, we opened it and it was very obviously used: filthy, coated in sawdust, scratched up, and missing several parts. So, Mim and I made one of many many trips back to Home Depot to exchange it.

So we got there and went to the service desk, and they were super nice about it and looked to see if there were another we could exchange for. There was, so they sent an employee over to take a look at it and make sure it was new. It wasn't. It had also been opened and returned, but we thoroughly checked and made sure all the parts were there and everything was in amazing shape, so we decided to take it even though it wasn't "new". We figured we'd ask if they would discount it since it had been opened. They said yes and gave us $35 off, which made it an amazing deal!

So we got it home and opened it up and we were about to put it together when we noticed...some parts were missing! We were a little puzzled until Home Depot called us (which was very nice of them) to tell us that when we were going through the box to make sure all the parts were there we forgot to put some of them back in the box...so back to Home Depot we went. We got those parts and then we were able to set up the saw and get to work. Kinda funny.

When we ordered the deck stuff we also ordered our new back door and the LVL header for it. The door was delivered just fine...but no LVL. It was pretty late on a Friday night when it was finally delivered so we went to Home Depot in the morning to see if we could find it. We looked, the employees looked, and it was nowhere to be found...yeah. They think the deliver guy picked it up but didn't deliver it and lost it somewhere along the way. Maybe he delivered it to someone else with their order. Either way, we couldn't put the door in without the header, so we had to wait until Monday, when the pro desk said they would find us an LVL, pick it up from the lumber yard themselves, and deliver it to our house in person. And they did, which was awesome...

The LVL was the wrong size.

Fortunately we were able to make it work, so no harm done I suppose.

It was just really annoying. We've always loved Home Depot; we still do. But when things keep getting messed up (I forgot to mention that when the decking was delivered there were some parts that were wrong. That was another trip to Home Depot to get the right parts...) we quickly become disenchanted with them.

But they're still better than Lowe's.

Deck Party, Part 4

After the week where Scott and I barely got anything done (being sick is so AWESOME. Not.) we were going to have Mim come back up the following weekend (May 15-16) to work on the deck more. However, Friday night Mim was feeling a bit sick so we were going to see if she felt better Saturday morning. She didn't call me in the morning so I assumed she wasn't feeling better and was resting, and we started without her (turns out she was up all night throwing up, poor thing). Fortunately Ben was able to come over and help more, and I wasn't feeling sick so I was able to help as well.

Since the framing was done, the next step was going to be putting the decking on, so that's where we started:


It actually went by pretty quickly compared to the framing, so we got tons done. Here is a shot of some of the (almost) finished edges:


It's looking so good!

Ben had to get going around noon so before he left we ordered pizza as a thank you (and I also got him a thank you/housewarming gift for his new house) and he and Scott ate out on the deck, enjoying the sunshine:


Ben and Scott had gotten almost all the decking put down so before we put the railing up we wanted to get the new back door put in. Scott pulled off the siding and took the floodlights out:

Here's how the side of the house looked before we put the door in:

The door had been delivered, but the LVL header we ordered for it was lost somewhere along the way, so we couldn't put the door in until we got that delivered. On Sunday (May 16) Scott started on the railing but didn't get far before we decided to call it quits and veg for the rest of the day.

More to follow!

This is taking way longer than we thought it would. But it's turning out well, so I can't complain.

In No Particular Order

Just some thoughts:

The new girl that works in the micro lab is way nicer than the old one.

One time when I was really little (6 I think) I bit Kwiddens on the nose and then lied to Mim and said "Kristen bit her nose!" and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how she knew it was me...

I like weighing only 150 lbs.

I love making this blanket so much that I want to design more squares to go on it so it will be bigger and take me longer to make. Scott thinks it's hideous, but Mim will love it!

When I went to the prom senior year of high school I wore a dress from the 1920's. I looked amazing. The restaurant we went to was called "The Victorian Tearoom" and it was exactly what it sounds like.

I got french vanilla cappuccino at Maverik this morning but when I got to work and started drinking it, it turned out they had put the wrong mix in the machine and it was pumpkin spice flavored. It wasn't bad, it was just not what I wanted and expected. I drank it anyway, because I took Nyquil last night and I was feeling terribly groggy this morning and needed to perk up.

I recently undertook the giant task of cleaning my office at work. When I inherited it almost two years ago it was stuffed to the brim with junk and dust and old samples...now all the books and records are organized, shelves are dusted off, the old broken chair is gone, the samples are in nice little boxes, and I got rid of the really old random crap that was in my desk drawers and taking up space in my cupboards.

All I want right now is a nap.

I got overwhelmed one day last week and snapped at my boss and I apologized profusely and I think we're ok now but I can't stop thinking about it and feeling horrible that I said what I said in the tone I said it in, but more that I lost control at work. I'm usually good about containing my crazy and keeping it away from work so people there will like me and think I'm sane, but last week I just...I feel terrible about it. I also feel disappointed in myself for even getting overwhelmed. Normally I am invincible superchemist and no matter how many samples they throw at me I still get them done quickly with a smile on my face. I think part of the problem was that someone came in and asked me to do a large project soonish, and I said OK, and then not even five minutes later someone else came in and said that the project was more of an ASAP thing than a soonish thing and I just felt like I hadn't even had time to look at the project before someone else was asking about it.

TGIF.

I have that weird restless feeling again. It might have to do with the Nyquil.

Deck Party, Part 3

So after Mim went home Sunday afternoon (May 9) Scott and I decided we would work on the deck after work during the week. However, sometime on Sunday Scott started to feel sick, so for the next two days he was dying at home in bed. I didn't get as sick as he did so I still went to work, but I went home early one afternoon to get some rest. So, to make a long story short, we didn't work on it at all until Thursday after work. Since on Sunday we had gotten the frame totally rebuilt Scott just had to plumb and nail in the joists.

Next up was doing the last part of the framing, which was the staircase:


Scott had a really fun time getting these level (that was dripping with sarcasm, by the way).

We are so glad we bought this miter saw, because it made cutting through the composite beams so fast and easy!



So Scott started getting boards placed on the staircase. It's not finished because we need to trim the sides of the boards and add fascia to the sides and the vertical spaces between the individual steps.




Scott got all the boards on the stairs screwed on and we took the ceremonial first steps up the staircase, but we didn't get a picture of that because I forgot.



So that's the end of Part 3.


Stay tuned for more madness.

Deck Party, Part 2

Saturday (May 8) we woke up bright and early and went to Home Depot to rent a hammer drill. Then we went to Maverik for munchies and caffeine, and then once Ben got to our house we got started. First up was drilling the holes into the foundation to mount the ledger. Next was drilling holes in the concrete pad for the posts. Attaching the posts and leveling them took a long time. When you spend five grand on decking materials you want to make sure it's very very level.



Having Mim around was so much fun! She's useful, too. Here she is with my Scott just having a blast while putting in carriage bolts (I learned the names of lots of tools and lots of hardware!):




This was the ultimate carriage bolt. I think it was like a foot long. That one took so long to hammer in, and then it took so long to get the washer and nut screwed on that Mim and Scott had to take turns!



Of course once we got a big chunk of the frame done Scott had to test its structural integrity:



Now at this point something interesting happened. Well, not so much interesting as...well, you'll see.


It turns out we had two problems. One was that our concrete pad was neither square at the corners, straight on the edges, or even level. The other was that Home Depot made the plans wrong. They have this computer program that designs decks. You just put in your parameters and it gives you plans that are up to code and everything. Now the code on deck stairs is that they have to be at least three feet wide or else they won't pass inspection. The computer program gave us plans and when we got all the posts and framing done (except the stairs) it became apparent that the stairs would be a few inches too narrow. Oops. So, with both these problems, a lot of things weren't quite working out...so here are Mim and Scott, trying to decide what to do about this:

Here they are, testing to see what is square and what isn't. Note the frustrated look on Scott's face:

So here is a look at how much we got done before we figured out that we had to tear almost all of it down and start over, re-drilling the holes in the concrete so we could reposition the posts so the stairs would be up to code:

Heartbreaking, isn't it?

Anyway, Sunday we woke up again (not as bright and not as early) and got back to work (after going to Home Depot and renting that tool AGAIN). Fortunately the beams were all already cut so we just had to reposition and re-level some things and Sunday we got the entire frame re-built (except the stairs) so at least we got that far. My poor Scott was starting to feel sick, but at this point we figured Scott would probably be able to finish himself, with a little of my help, so Mim went home and we took hot showers, changed into pajamas, and called it a night.

Don't worry, the story doesn't end here.

I'll continue the story on the next episode of "Deck Party"!

Anniversary Time!

So Scott and I have now been married for three years. Our anniversary was this past Tuesday, May 11.


These three years have been amazing and crazy and happy and sad and stressful and peaceful and always an adventure.


When we first got married we were broke, I was sick, and my family was exploding. Yet Scott stood there with me. He laughed when I laughed, held me when I cried, and took me to the doctor time after time until we figured out what was going on.


After things with my family calmed down and I found a job (and stopped getting sick-turns out anxiety can physically cripple you), things got really good. Scott and I were still learning about each other and learning to live with each other.


We made smart decisions and we were careful. We dreamt of so many wonderful things for our future together, and soon we began to make them all come true. We bought a house, we got a dog, we started living. Actually living.


My family is still insane and dramatic, and I'm still a basket case, but I'm properly medicated now (WOO) and so we have gotten into this rhythm where we are almost always perfectly in sync with what we want and how we feel. And we always love each other dearly.


Scott is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met. He is kind and caring, never selfish and always generous. He has always put me, my health, and my happiness first, even though I don't ask that he do so. He's goofy and sweet and just seeing him smile makes my day. He's strong, physically and emotionally, and he's been there for me whenever I need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on.


He treats me like a queen and values my opinions at the same time. I'm his sweetheart and his equal, in perfect harmony. We have inside jokes and favorite shows we quote at each other all the time. We jokingly make fun of each other, and in our family that means "I love you".


It's been a good three years, even through the bad times.


Here's to another three years. And three more after that. Etc.


So here's the stack of anniversary presents I got from my Amazon wish list as per tradition:




There was also some Vanilla Lace lotion from Victoria's Secret, but I forgot to put it in the picture. The funny thing was, even though Scott ordered "The Pursuit of Happyness" with Will Smith, they sent us this weird old movie called "The Pursuit of Happiness", and when we asked for an exchange, they just gave us our money back and told us to keep it. So Scott re-ordered that one for me.


We went to a nice dinner at Corbin's, a more upscale steakhouse close to us. The atmosphere was fun, our server was amazing, and I just felt like it was an extra special meal. We got some amazing crab stuffed mushrooms:



And since I'm on the no carbs phase of the diet I could only stare longingly at this:

Sourdough. Oh yes.


But the most special part of this anniversary was the real present Scott got me:

New wedding rings with more sparklies! And check out that paper cut on my middle finger. Oh yes.

Deck Party, Part 1

So this past weekend (May 7-9) we started to build our deck. We were hoping to get it all done this past weekend, and we thought that was a good, achievable goal, since Mim and Scott's friend Ben were both coming to help us. Four people in one weekend? Totally doable, right?

Nope.

Friday morning I woke up with a sore throat, and thought nothing of it, assuming it was just allergies (and that happens all the time, so no red flags). Friday afternoon I started to get a bit stuffy in the nose area and by Friday night I was starting to get body aches. YAY FOR GETTING A COLD. Perfect freaking timing.

So that put our deck building team at three people, which is probably still doable, right? We'll see about that.

So Friday night Mim came up to our house and we got everything prepped and ready for when the real work started in the morning. Here's Scott and Mim making a sawhorse:


Scott had stayed home that day to accept delivery of the decking stuff we ordered, so after it came he got started building the ledger, and when I got home it was pretty much done.

We also got out all the tools, and Scott was excited to use his new 18V kit, and you can also see the boxes and boxes and boxes of nails and screws we got:

Anyway, so Friday night was Part 1. This is turning out to be quite a large project, so there will be several posts over the next few weeks, spreading out the story into more easily digestible bits

Text Time 4

Me: There are screaming babies everywhere!
Scott: No babies!
Me: No kidding!

Mim teaches math at UVU...

Mim: I hate that I have to teach slow, clumsy methods. I teach them, then say "here's the quick, slick method."

Me: Sometimes I can't even remember the slow methods because I just do the quick ones in my head...

Mim: This book series teaches mixture and distance solving with 2 or more variables and a system of equations. WHY?!

Me: Why do people overcomplicate things?

Mim: I know. Sometimes I'm demonstrating and accidentally slip into a quick. I think at this level we should just teach the quick, then later introduce the theory and the slower methods for deeper understanding.

Me: If only we ran the world...

Mim: I agree.

Me: When you take pictures in negative your dog shampoo glows!

Kwiddens: Weirdie

Scott: Buster just lost a fight to a wasp.

Me: Yay, acid on my face!