Bath Tub Bebby!

Since it's been a while since we've seen some Nyah pictures, and she's getting so big, here we go!

We even have a theme today!

Check out the fugly bath tub in Kwiddens's apartment:

Fortunately, it has now been resurfaced.

She's going to kill me someday when she turns into a moody teenager and finds out I posted pictures of her naked all over the internet...

Oh Look, More Pills...

So I'm just going to quickly update you all on my medical conditions as of late. Because you totally want to know. Ok, really, because I feel like complaining to a sympathetic audience.

A few weeks ago I had my sinus apocalypse, then I took antibiotics, and after a full course, it has mostly cleared up. Mostly. I think what's left is just allergies. The headaches are gone, so I'm happy about this. WIN.

Easter Sunday we decided to go get a late lunch at Red Lobster. I don't think the food I ate was bad; I was probably just having a bad IBS sort of day, and, long story short, I spent all of Sunday night in the bathroom instead of sleeping. I had to take Monday off because I was so dehydrated, tired, and sore. FAIL.

I'm prone to getting UTIs when I get dehydrated, and I get dehydrated very easily, so I make it a habit to drink 3-4 liters of water every day (and yes, I prefer liters to quarts; I'm a scientist. I'd completely switch to metric if it were up to me). HOWEVER, when you're in the bathroom that much, it doesn't really matter how much you drink. You're going to feel the effects of dehydration. So, I started having UTI symptoms on Monday. FAIL.

Sometimes when this happens, I can really push fluids for a few days (and take Azo in the meantime) and it resolves itself, but NOT THIS TIME.

Aside: taking antibiotics can cause yeast infections. This can happen at the same time as a UTI. EPIC FAIL.

You can see where this is going.

IT HURTS TO EXIST.

I went to the doctor today and got another course of a different antibiotic, plus Diflucan.

And that, my friends, was my day.

How was yours?

Drugs! Cheap!

Scott works for a software company whose product is a web-based medication tracking system for assisted living and skilled nursing facilities. They work in the same building as, and as partners with, a pharmacy.

This is amazing.

Here's why:

Since the two companies work together (and are owned by the same group of investors), we get benefits! Whenever we need over-the-counter medications, like Tylenol or Benadryl or whatever, the pharmacy orders it in for us. We get it the next day, and it's at cost. That means that the pharmacy doesn't upcharge at all. They just make us pay for what they pay (wholesale price).

Here's an excellent example: I've been suffering from a number of symptoms the past few days, most of which I won't go into right now, but one of them is urinary pain. LOVELY. So, I needed some Azo. Walgreen's has a box of 32 for $9, but I got it from our pharmacy for $2. I FREAKING WIN.

And the pain's gone, too!

Seriously, like I really wanted a UTI right now.Again.

5,000 Questions: Part 1

I found a 5,000 question survey! I'll be using this on occasion when I can't think of anything else to write (or when my entire body is being ridiculous and I'm too tired to think).


1. Who are you? 
I'm Anna! I am a knitter, a chemist, a wife, a dog-mommy, a sister, and a daughter. I love science fiction, yarn, more yarn, music (especially Enya and Tori Amos), and my husband (actually, he's totally at the top of the list).
2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? 
I think diamonds are a waste of money, I sometimes have mood swings (so you better watch what you say to me) (just kidding, I'm medicated), and I will defend my loved ones to the death.
3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing? 
I'm either at work, sleeping, yarning, and occasionally, exercising. Not so much the last one lately.
4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time). 
I loved everything! I'm a huge nerd! I love learning! I even love homework (in moderation...). However, I always mega sucked at history...
5. What is your biggest goal for this year? 
I want to get back in shape. I'm not optimistic.
6. Where do you want to be in 5 years? 
Roughly where I am now, but with another house to flip and maybe another dog.
7. What stage of life are you in right now?
I'm in the HOLY CRAP I'M A GROWNUP stage.
8. Are you more child-like or childish? 
Occasionally I'm child-like.
9. What is the last thing you said out loud? 
"It's okay, sweetie!" (Scott tripped over my laptop cord and unplugged it)
10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? 
Um.
11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes? 
Yes, actually. I took Karate when I was younger.
12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? 
I think some things get better, some get worse, and it all balances out. There were times in my life when things just kept getting worse and worse, but things are nice and steady now.
13. Does time really heal all wounds? 
No. But it sure does help.
14. How do you handle a rainy day? 
I don't "handle" it at all. I love rainy days! Rainy days mean staying inside with a blanket and hot cocoa, watching Stargate.
15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? 
It's the strangest thing, but I find untangling things to be very soothing. And I'm really good at it (especially yarn knots).
16. How is your relationship with your parents? Will you miss them when they are gone? 
With Mim, things are fantastic. I'll just die when she's gone. With my dad, well...we just don't talk. I think when he's gone, unless things change, I'll feel a little bit sad, then move on.
17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? 
It depends on what I'm up to. Most of the time I'm a little oblivious...
18. What is the truest thing that you know? 
I will always regret eating ice cream (intestinally, that is), but I will always eat it anyway.
19. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A chemist. Oh look, it worked!
20. Have you ever been given a second chance? 
Too many times to count...and most of the time I'm sure I didn't deserve it.

But Kashi Is So Delicious!

Lately I've almost let go regarding healthy eating. I say almost because I start off each week wanting to be healthier, so I pack lunches for Scott and myself so we won't go out to eat, where the portions are generally ridiculous and the healthy choices are rather limited. Then Thursday rolls around. Thursday is treat day at my lab, where we take turns bringing in something delicious to share. So on Thursdays, I know I'm going to have a treat, so I don't pack a lunch. Today was seven layer dip. Heaven. And then on Friday, I didn't pack a lunch the day before so I get lazy and think, "It's okay for us to go out for lunch. It's Friday!" Then, the weekend happens.

This isn't to say that we haven't been doing a lot better lately than we were before, especially on weekends, but still...I feel like there's work to be done.

Baby steps, right?

Anyway, along with the healthy-eating-half-of-the-time, I've been trying to see my body in a more positive light. When I went clothes shopping a little while back, I bought clothes that were actually my size, which is a big deal for me. I had put off buying clothes for the longest time because I was thinking, "I'll buy clothes when I've lost weight. That way, I won't have wasted money on clothes that are too big for me later." The problem is, obviously, that I haven't lost the weight. I'm starting to think maybe I won't. And if I do, it's going to take a damn long time, so I should probably avoid nakedness in the meantime.

It blows my mind that on different days I can look in the mirror and see two completely different people. Some days, like today, I look in the mirror and see someone who, yes, could stand to lose some weight, but really isn't as big as she feels like she is. A few days ago I was in the bathroom at work and looking in the mirror and I wanted to see how big I really looked, because we all know that when you look in the mirror you see yourself as bigger than other people see you. So, I took a picture of myself with my phone. I didn't look as big as I thought I did. And that felt good.

Then, I have those days when I avoid mirrors, because I feel like if I see myself I'll be tempted to starve myself or exercise obsessively or something else that would do more harm than good.

I've been better about bingeing lately. I've tried to avoid eating when I get upset, and I'm trying to listen to my body and let it tell me when it's hungry. It seems like my problems are no longer emotional, but habitual. Now that things in my life are pretty good (well, there's always something, but it's all relative), I don't feel upset very often at all. But I've been so used to eating inappropriately pretty much my whole life that it's habit now. I eat too much. What I eat isn't all that unhealthy most of the time, but eating Kashi GoLean (YUM) in the mornings isn't going to help as much if I'm eating twice as much as I'm supposed to. I just love feeling full. And I feel hungry all the freaking time, no matter if I undereat or eat normally. I don't know how to stop that.

I suppose all this means that my eating disorder has morphed into a new kind of monster.

The sad thing about all this is that I have no idea when it started. I do remember one time in seventh grade, weighing 80 pounds, and looking in the mirror while I was wearing my swimsuit and absolutely loathing myself because of how "big" I was. I was 11 years old. And I know there are women out there for whom it started even earlier than that.

Pollen? Virus? Who Knows?

At first it seemed like the antibiotics were working. I felt like I was clearing out, and it was a whole new world of smells, let me tell you. I drove to work and the second I stepped into the building I was caught completely off-guard by the intensity of the stench. Usually, I can smell it a little bit for a few minutes, but then my nose gets used to it and I don't smell it any more, but now that stuff can actually get in there to get smelled, WOW, I had forgotten how smelly my lab was. No wonder Scott keeps asking me to take a shower.

Anyway, so it seemed like I was clearing up, but now I'm just not so sure. I'm still taking Sudafed constantly, and it helps a little, but I can't take it at night because it keeps me awake, so by the time I wake up in the morning I'm miserable all over again. So I'm thinking that it's either viral or allergies, both of which antibiotics don't help at all. LAME. And my intestines are just so pleased about taking them, too.

So what am I supposed to do? Sudafed until I die? Cleansing my sinuses (yuck) didn't seem to help at all (plus it was unpleasant), and there doesn't seem to be anything else I can do. So, I'm permanently snotty, I suppose. Lovely.

It's Like Wearing Clouds

I actually finished these a few weeks ago, but as you've probably noticed, I'm not blogging a whole lot lately. BUT, here they are! The lovely knee socks! Now, I have no idea when I will ever have occasion to wear these, but I think they're gorgeous so I kinda don't care.

These took a LONG time, but I really liked the project most of the time. I did have a couple of weeks in the middle where I didn't want to work on them, but once I got the hang of the pattern they actually went pretty quickly.

I did make a few modifications to the project: I added an extra repeat in the calf and added an extra decrease as well (apparently the pattern was written for very short people with tiny calves), and I continued the pattern onto the foot (but without the bobbles, so they would fit inside shoes more comfortably) instead of ending it at the ankle. They're really soft and silky (probably because there's silk in them...).

Now that these are out of the way, I've started a pair of purple socks for Kwiddens and a sweater that might be for me, but might be for Mim, because I can't decide if I'm selfish or not. I'm making it in a dark teal color. It's going to take forever...

Neti Pot Nast

Yesterday after work I sucked it up and made a doctor's appointment. Fortunately, they were able to get me in that afternoon, so I didn't have to wait or pay a higher copay to go to Instacare. The doc I saw was really nice. I always like when they're nice. Anyway, he confirmed that I do, in fact, have a textbook sinus infection, and gave me some antibiotics to try. He said it might be viral, though, in which case they won't help me at all. I'm crossing my fingers. I'm to keep taking Sudafed and he gave me a Neti Pot to try...

Um, eew.

Cleaning out my nasal passages? AWFUL. First of all, it feels like when you're in the swimming pool and you get chlorinated water up your nose and it burns and burns and burns and you feel like you might as well die because it would hurt much less. Then, after it's done and drained out and all that, I continued to feel like I was drowning in a chlorinated pool until I went to sleep an hour later (and falling asleep while your nasal passages are burning takes a lot longer than you'd think).

I have a sneaking suspicion that if I use distilled or filtered water next time it might be a bit better, but I'm still very grossed out and I did not enjoy the sensation one bit. And to top it all off, I didn't really feel like it helped all that much. The pressure in this case is mostly in the forehead and eye sinuses, not so much the nose ones, and the Sudafed takes care of the nose ones. BUT, I'll try it again tonight because I am so desperate for some relief. These headaches NEED to stop or else I'm going to have to TP that doctor's house.

Can you believe some people do this to their nose every single day? Nutters, the lot of them.

Anyway.

So: antibiotics. Lovely. I'm sure my IBS will be very happy about this for the next 10 days...

Can I Go Back To Sleep Yet?

Earlier this year (maybe January or February sometime) I had a little cold. It wasn't terrible; I still went to work. I was just extra tired and more than a little snotty (TMI, too bad). The cold went away soon enough but the snot lingered. Lovely.

This happens every year. I get some sort of mild bug, and then when the rest of me is just fine again my sinuses hold on to the bug like it's going out of style. I deal with it for a couple of weeks months and then finally suck it up and go to the doctor. I take a course of antibiotics and VOILA, I'm good to go (until next year...).

The problem is that this time I'm not sure if that's what it is. With the bizarre spring-winter-spring-winter-spring-winter-spring-HAHA FOOLED YOU-winter that the weather has been doing, I'm wondering if it might just be allergies. I'm allergic to everything. I take Claritin every day, year-round, and it takes care of most of my symptoms, but in the spring it gets a little worse with the pollen. I can deal with that. But this is a little more extreme...and the weather's been a little ridiculous...so is it allergies or a sinus infection?

I'm taking Mucinex around the clock. I'm having a hard time sleeping at night, and so my days are all a little hazy (unless I amp up on massive amounts of caffeine). Mostly, I'm tired of the headaches.

I KNOW it's my sinuses; I just don't know why. If I go see a doctor and it is an infection, I get pills and go on my merry way, but if it's allergies, there's nothing they can even do and I've gone and wasted a co-pay. Lame.

Shopping Just...Sucks: Scott To The Rescue

Where was I?

Oh yeah, sobbing hysterically in my bed.

I cried for a while. I don't even know for how long. But I had stopped by the time Scott got home from work. He came upstairs and said, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Hiding..."

"From me?"

"No, from the world..."

"Did you go shopping?"

"Yeah...I bought a bra...and then I lost it in the middle of the mall."

And then everything came pouring out, and Scott, being the superhero that he is, told me to take half a Klonopin and then he would drive me around to other stores and be there for moral support while I tried again. I took my magic "calm the heck down, dude" pill, and waited a little while for it to kick in, and then off we went.

We looked through one store...no luck. But I felt better, because I was half-stoned, and because I had my very best friend there, who loves me very much no matter what I'm wearing, just following me around with the cart. In the next store, I found a shirt (green polo with pockets, so not really "fashionista" but still not a tee shirt)! It fit! It looked good! It was even on sale! We went to Famous Footwear next, and I found the perfect pair of shoes, also on sale! We went to Ross next and I found TWO shirts(one black tank with asymmetric shirred details all over, and a striped tank with an attached black sweater)! We went to Kohl's next and I found another shirt (spring green, fitted, collared)! We went to Walmart and got underpants and socks and another pair of jeans (that actually fit) and I was done for the night.

Conclusions:

• Scott is not only a superhero, but my good luck charm.
• Malls suck. Outlet stores are awesome.
• Maybe I should start wearing makeup, too...

Now, the question is: am I brave enough to try again?