The Ol' Switcharoo

In my ever-present quest to take care of myself emotionally AND physically, I've decided to try going off the Abilify and to try Geodon instead. The Abilify was working great, emotionally, but the side effects, mainly the sleepiness, were too much to bear. I was sleeping 11+ hours a night, and it was really cutting into my time for everything else. I think in a way it was making my depression a bit worse, because being so sleepy made me want to sleep all the time instead of hanging out with friends or knitting or watching movies or whatever. It's hard to be motivated to do anything at all when all you can focus on is "When can I get back to sleep?"

So I went to talk to my doctor on Monday, and let me tell you, this is the best doctor I've ever had. He actually listens to me and addresses my concerns, and when I tell him what I think is going to work for me he seriously considers it (and usually I get what I want from him, because I generally know what I'm talking about. I mean, I do lots of research before coming in to see him, so I can make intelligent choices as far as my medications go). So when I went in the other day and asked about Geodon (because I had taken it before and had experienced more of a "high" than a "low"), he went through a list of possibilities with me and discussed the pros and cons of each option, and in the end we settled on what I wanted to try first, and if that doesn't work we decided what to try next.

So how is it so far? Hard to say. I've only been on it for two days. So far, no anxiety or irritability, but, once again, it's only been two days, and Scott's out of town so I don't have him keeping an eye on me to see if I seem irritable or not. From my perspective, I'm not irritable.

As far as the sleepiness goes, I had an easier time getting out of bed this morning (after a night of waking up many, many times, but still feeling like my sleep was refreshing), and I felt more alert as I got to work and started working, but then I started drinking a Rock Star and, wouldn't you know it, it looks like on this medication caffeine is having an opposite effect. It could be that the Geodon is making me feel sleepy, and it just took a little while to kick in, but it seems like as soon as that Rock Star started to enter my system I started feeling sleepier than when I woke up. I'll try going caffeine-free tomorrow and see what happens.

I'll keep you all posted. I've been researching this medication and it seems like some people experience side-effects for the first two weeks or so and then they go away. My doctor wants to see me in six weeks to follow up, and hopefully by then I'll have good news for him. We'll see.

Oh, and it seems like a lot of people lose weight that they gained on other medications when they take this one. I'm not holding my breath, but wouldn't it be nice if I lost the weight I gained while on Risperdal? Maybe it's just wishful thinking...

Dear Scott (Year Six)

It's that time of year when I start to think about Scott, and myself, and our relationship, because hey, that's what you do on anniversaries.

So here's my letter to you, Dear Scott, and I hope you enjoy it (and feel the same way).

Dear Scott,

This year marks six years that we've been married, and about eight that we've been together. I can't even comprehend this. Before you, my longest relationship had been about seven months long, and OH BOY did that end badly, but I digress. I love that we've been together so long. I know that six years doesn't seem that long to some people, but it's made me feel like we've always been together, and I forget what most of my past has been like.

This past year has been hard for us. We had a few little spats, but nothing major, and, as usual, they were just about misunderstandings, not actual problems with our relationship. No, our relationship has never been a problem, and I am so, SO grateful for that. I feel like you and I have something more special than most other couples, and find myself wondering very often why other people can't be like us. We care about each other. We never talk badly about each other. We give each other enough space, and let each other have hobbies we enjoy. We talk every day about everything under the sun (even politics, sometimes) and I tell you I love you every chance I can. What a wonderful relationship we have. I hope it always stays this way, and gets even better with age.

This year has been hard for us in other ways, such as with money and with physical ailments. Your back continues to hurt, and now you have a broken foot, and seriously, can't we please catch a break? But we're still here, alive, and we've never wanted for necessities, so really, I can't complain. Challenges seem to be good for us, because our relationship seems to keep getting better and stronger. I love you more and more every day, and watching you be in this pain (and having withdrawals from trying to get off the medications) is heartbreaking and I never know what to do to help. I wish I could take all of the pain away from you and just deal with it myself. It's not fair that I've been relatively healthy this year and you're stuck with the problems.

We continue to not have (or want) babies, and that also makes me super happy. Like, crazy happy, just like you are, I'm sure. I feel like our little family, with you and me and Buster, is complete and perfect just the way it is. And babies are so expensive, and sticky, and our house would never be as clean as it usually is now.

I love that you love me despite my flaws and shortcomings. I love you, too, even though you're not perfect, though I can't think of anything specific right now that bugs me about you. In fact, you never bug me at all. Okay, I take it back. I love you in your near-perfection. And you love me even though I'm full of crazy over here. THANK GOODNESS for medications that keep me level and keep this relationship as stable as it is. I know I still have the occasional mood swing, but you're so on top of that shit. I mean, you know I'm there before I even know I'm there. And you know exactly how to take care of me and help me through  the rough patches.

You work hard, and you're sweet, and generous, and loving, and I don't know what I'd do without you. You are my very favorite person in this whole world and I feel lucky that we found each other, because Babe, you are just so awesome.

Now let's go celebrate. By eating something tasty. And then going to bed early, because we're 90 years old like that.

Love you always and forever and even after that,

Anna

The Biggest Batch Yet!

A few posts ago I mentioned spinning 16 ounces of merino at once. Would you like to see? Of course you would!

I wish I had taken a  picture of the wool in the braids. I did four four-ounce braids that I got at a fiber fair a few weeks ago from an indie dyer who is in my knit group. I saw the colorway and almost died, I wanted it so badly!

Here it is all spun up into singles (actually this is only about half of it):

And here is the first bit plied up on the bobbin:

Here's the first half plied:

And skeined:

The funny thing is, I had only bough eight ounces of it, but I loved spinning it so much that I started to make grand plans for it, and based on the yardage I got from the eight ounces I decided I needed to double it, so here's my full sixteen ounces all done:

I got 412 yards of bulky weight yarn out of it (before setting the twist. I haven't done that and my yardage will probably decrease a bit once I've washed and set it). The colors are truest in the center of the last picture.

I think this needs to be a hat, mitten, and scarf set to match my brown coat. I'd never use this yarn on anyone but myself, it's so pretty!

Things I Love For No Good Reason

1. Riding on airplanes. I don't like traveling, but I do like the airplane rides. I don't know why.

2. 10th Kingdom.

3. School supplies. Fresh notebooks, pens, especially the colored gel pens (I know, SO 7th grade), highlighters, post-its (pink ones!), new mechanical pencils with matching mechanical erasers (they do have to match or else it bugs me to no end)...you name it, I love it.

4. Minesweeper.

5. TV shows about the paranormal. More often than not they're just drama but I love them anyway!

6. Really crappy movies. But a lot of people love these. They're just so good for making fun of!

7. Brand new asphalt with brand new paint lines!

8. CDs over mp3s. I just like having a hard copy, that's all...

9. Nyquil. I love the way it tastes. I love the way it feels warm going down. Mmm!

10. Filtered water. I know, it's almost the same thing, but I feel better if my water has been filtered.

Text Time 28

Kwiddens: "Troma awarness"
Me: Huh? Trauma awareness?
Kwiddens: Yep. A la Isaac's parents' neighbor.
Me: Wow.


Kwiddens: This girl I know posted on Facebook that she had a "mind grain".
Me: Hahaha
Kwiddens: And another girl "At lease I have real friends!"
Me: Ugh.


Kwiddens:

 Moose has Desitin on his face and he looks like an uruk-hai.


Kwiddens:

I was playing in mud!


Kwiddens: I'm a terrible mom. Sometimes Nyah eats condiments for meals just because that's what she wants.
Me: Hahaha. Well, ketchup is a fruit...
Kwiddens: I'm talking peanut butter, cream cheese...
Me: Peanut butter has protein and heart-healthy oils. And cream cheese has calcium and protein.
Kwiddens: That's what I figure :)

Ruffles!

It just occurred to me that I haven't shown you all the cutest thing I've made in a long time.

For Christmas for Nyah I made a pink ruffle purse! The color is more exact in the first picture, and in the second you can see it completed.

I filled it with gummi bears.

Apparently she likes to wear it as a hat and it looks like brains. Not my intention, but adorable nonetheless.

Kwiddens Hits Up Ogden

So Kwiddens is moving. She and Isaac got a house in Ogden (20 minutes from my house! Not 45!) and they'll be moving sometime around the 15th of this month. I'm super excited for her to be so close to me. When she used to live in Ogden I would go over after work a few times a week and hang out. We'd bake and watch movies and play with Nyah and go shopping...whatever we did, we did it together, and it was great. Now she'll have a house of her own, with her own kitchen, so we can bake again!

I Learned Entrelac! And It Was Easy!

I've been meaning to make this sweater forever, and from the moment the pattern came out it was meant for Mim.

I sent Mim a picture of the yarn I was thinking of using. The dark grey would be for the main color, and either the rainbow or the blueandpinkypurple would be for the front entrelac panel.

She chose the rainbow, so I looked up a tutorial on how to do entrelac and started:

In progress:

And now the front panel is finished!

I did start on the body of the sweater. It's knit top-down, and I got to the waist shaping below the underarms when I lost steam, so there's not much progress there. Here's a picture I took just after dividing for the arms:

When I started the sweater I told Mim it would probably be two years before she got it, and I think I was right. I have so many projects going, and including this one, none of them have been appealing to me lately (except spinning), so nothing is getting done. But who cares, right? It's my hobby, and I'm not knitting to a deadline, so I should enjoy what I'm making and live in the moment.

And Now For The Kwiddens!

For Christmas for The Kwiddens I made her a scarf out of this really pretty navy blue and gray chunky yarn I'd gotten as a gift that I'd been dying to use but had no idea what it wanted to be, until Kwiddens told me she liked navy blue and then I was all set to use it!

Check out this monster crochet hook I had to use with it. It's the second biggest hook I own, and it was super awkward, since I usually crochet with much finer yarns. It was still fun, though.

Here it is, all finished, pre-washing and blocking:

And, all finished on The Kwiddens:

Isn't she lovely?

Autumn And Christmas

Here are a few skeins I've spun up recently (and by recently I mean in the last several months...).

This one is an autumny color, with browns and golds and oranges, and although these usually aren't my colors, they turned out so pretty that I'm loving the result:

And, back to another Christmas item, since Em has taken up crocheting and a little bit of spindle spinning, and hopefully will soon let me teach her knitting, I made her yarn for Christmas last year in her favorite colors, red and black:

Both of these skeins turned out very even, about a sport or DK weight, which is what I was aiming for, so I was totally happy with that. I'm pretty sure they were both merino, too, and I got both braids from a woman in my knitting group who is a total genius with a dye pot.

Christmas Knitting...FINALLY.

I am woefully behind on posting things related to projects, and I promise I have been working on many yarny things, but blogging, as you know, is not my forte.

So let's rewind back to Christmas, shall we?

For Mim I spun up some lovely purple sparkly yarn, knitted some mittens, and crocheted a scarf.

Singles on the bobbin:

All of it caked up (this had been, so far, the biggest batch I'd ever spun. Something like six ounces...which seems inconsequential now that I've spun a full 16 ounce batch...but that's a whole other blog post):

Mitten #1:

Mitten #1 again, but in a cooler pose:

And, mittens! I know they look wonky; it's because I hadn't washed and blocked them at this point.

And since I was down to the wire on time, I crocheted the scarf instead of knitting it to match (I crochet much more quickly than I knit).

Mim says she loves them, though I haven't seen her wear them. Then again, I hardly ever get to see her anymore, and now the weather is warmer and she won't be needing them again until next winter anyway.