Company For Thanksgiving

The thing about winter is, well, SAD hits me pretty hard. But this year I'm on a new med, and it seems to be making a difference. I mean, I'm tired and want to sleep a lot, but I felt that way before the sun started hiding from me. Usually my moods drop down way low and I have to bust out my light and do happy things to keep my mind off of everything, but this year, so far, I feel fine. In fact, I feel the same as I did during the summer. Interesting... I can handle being tired. I mean, I'm the reason napping was invented. It's the bridge between me and the animals that hibernate.

My anxiety level is also still way down, which is awesome because I have friends coming to stay over Thanksgiving. They arrive this afternoon and leave Sunday morning. Usually this would have me in hysterics, because what if my house isn't clean enough, and what if I'm not entertaining enough, and what if they leave and don't like me anymore? Cue (irrational, ridiculous) panic. But this time, though I'm feeling a little anxious, I'm not freaking the hell out like I would have before.

It's silly, really, to have anxiety over spending time with people you love and care about on a major holiday. I mean, really, Anna? Really? But think about it from my (crazy-ass) perspective: when I've had people over in the past, it's usually been Jorg, and he's so low maintenance there's nothing for me to worry about. All I have to do is throw him and Scott into a room together with a few computers and they play games together for hours days. Hand him some food every few hours and he's happy. These friends who are coming to stay have come to stay before, but it was a last minute, one-night sort of thing, so I didn't really have time to get anxious before they got there, and then there was just the one night, so we went out to dinner, and then we watched The Big Bang Theory while Li got some work done on her laptop and her husband played games with Scott. Super easy. But this time, they'll be here for days, and I'm boring, you guys. All I do for fun is go out to eat and knit (spin, crochet, etc.), and trust me, I'm happy with it this way. Really happy. But Li isn't a knitter, so I don't even know if I'll get any yarning time in this weekend at all. I'm not worried about her husband and Scott at all, though. As long as he brings his computer with him, they'll be all set. We did buy a new board game, but I don't want to play games all weekend because there's nothing else to do.

We'll see how it goes. I'm more than likely getting worked up over nothing, as usual.

Thankful

So with everyone on Facebook doing a 30 days of thankfulness thingy, I decided that I'm only thankful once, though for many things, so I decided to write one post about all of it. Here we go.

I'm grateful for my right and ability to choose: to choose whom to marry, where to work, to not have children (yay birth control methods!), to spend time with whomever I want, and to make all those little everyday choices I take for granted.

I'm thankful for my family. We're a nutty bunch, that's for sure, but we're loving and smart and quirky and loyal and I couldn't have been more blessed to have the mother and siblings I have. I'm even grateful for certain people who won't talk to me any more, because certain people have shaped who I am in good ways even though we more or less parted company years ago.

I'm grateful for my friends. I have a nice group of people on the internet with whom I can share my innermost thoughts (well, some of them...some thoughts are for me and me alone) and who won't judge me for them. I have a group of friends on Facebook, people from high school, college, and companies I've worked for, who are all supportive and interesting, and I love to see how their lives are progressing as they post pictures and updates. I consider my family to be some of my best friends, as well. But mostly in this particular paragraph I'm grateful for my knitting group. I get to see them every week, sometimes more often, and we get to talk about anything under the sun and fiber it up with knitting, spinning, and crocheting (and the occasional cross-stitching). These people, in the short year and a half we've all known each other, have become the closest friends I've had since I was in high school (some of those high school friendships last forever, you know).

I'm thankful for all the material things I have. I have a house that, although built by monkeys, continues to become more beautiful and keeps me warm and safe (and my air conditioning keeps me from melting in the summer). I have two cars, so Scott and I don't ever have to worry about not having transportation. I have more yarn than I can knit right now, and more fiber than I can spin, and my dear Scott keeps letting me buy more, and the stash keeps growing but I can't help myself. I have a beautiful spinning wheel and all the tools I need to keep my hobbies alive and well.

I am grateful for my great job. There are a few issues there, but nothing that can't be worked out eventually. I love what I do and I'm good at it, and that's a great feeling. I work with an awesome bunch of people who all like and care about me. I have good benefits and am fortunate to be full-time, so I have health insurance.

I am thankful for my medicines. Without it there would be no me; of that I am certain. Those five or six little pills a day keep me sane. They preserve my marriage. They keep me functional so I can have all that I have and do all that I do. Without my medicines I would be lost, and probably would have ended it by now.

Most of all, I'm grateful for my Scott. Scott is my shining light. He's so sweet and loving, and a little silly, and it makes me smile every day. He and I have our differences, sure, but we either ignore them (politics, cough) or work with them (I'm such a slob by nature and he's such a neat freak and it takes a lot of work for me to try to be neater and I'm sure it takes even more for him not to FREAK OUT at my messes). Scott is hard-working and only wants my happiness out of this whole entire world. He makes me laugh, and he never makes me cry, except when he's in pain and that makes me so very sad.

You see, I have everything I've ever wanted or needed. I have an amazing life and I would be a fool not to take a moment to appreciate it all.